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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think nicky hambleton jones is irresponsible and ridiculous

147 replies

woahthere · 12/04/2010 22:20

this quote in particular has got my back up....
'Eventually, when he was eight days old and screaming all the time, I gave him formula milk: he was a transformed baby. The best thing I ever did was forget the breast and move on to the bottle.'

The whole article has annoyed me to be honest, it is about her horrible birth but has been written with the angle of...home birth is dangerous and why bother breastfeeding you'll just get cracked nipples. silly cow.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1265496/Nicky-Hambleton-Jones-shunned-NHS-private-home-birth--thi ngs-went-terribly-wrong-.html#ixzz0kvHmx1a9

OP posts:
Doodleydoo · 13/04/2010 11:23

And breathe all, take a step back.

Lets face it:

  1. In the DM so facts will have been exaggerated - Fact is she paid £4,000 for a private homebirth (could have had a freebie!), Fact - she ended up with a c-section, Fact - she resorted to FF.

The rest I am sure is just make believe and there to jazz up a rather dull story that could have happened to anyone of us.........

Frankly I don't give a flying f if she wants to give her child formula. I chose to add it in later on, I found bf enjoyable and it was easy after the first week. Maybe I had a lot of luck (but after the pg and the birth something had to go my way! ) I am sure there are more reasons for her to ff, perhaps she wanted to go back to work, perhaps she didn't like the way she felt bf I don't know, I don't care as long as her son thrives.

Frankly though I hadn't a clue who she was, still don't care and am not keen on the glasses and if I read the dm I would have turned the page without looking.

Original poster
woahthere · 13/04/2010 11:28

listen right, im not a breastfeeding nazi...i genuinely find it disgusting when people use that term. im not anti formula either. What strikes me about this article is that following a traumatic birth it stands to reason that her milk supply was low and they felt it necessay to give formula which obviously would transform a baby if they were hungry. But there may have been things that could have been done to increase her supply but she doesnt say anything about trying so I assume she didnt do it and stuck to the formula..her choice. Why does she have to then smugly ask why we put ourselves through it and that the mohers at her nct class have cracked nipples and mastitis. It reads like, her way didnt work and so then shes rolling her eyes at the other mums. THAT annoys me.

OP posts:
sophieandbelly · 13/04/2010 11:37

yabu its just an opinion, so she did what she thought so what.

CheekyVimtoGal · 13/04/2010 11:38

I BF my PFB for 6 weeks and gradually weaned him off because i was constantly suffering from Mastitas.

With my DS2 i BF him but he wouldnt feed from me, i stopped at Tescos on the way home from hospital for some bottles and formula. I had already given up. If anyone interested if you have This weeks Take A Break my breastfeeding story and PND story is in Take A Break on page 14. ALfies mum

confusedfirsttimemum · 13/04/2010 11:45

I don't have a problem with the article as a whole. I don't like the 'ooh, why do we do this to ourselves' bit at the end though. It makes it sound like she is generalising out from her own experience (perfectly valid, and she is entitled to choose formula) to assuming that other mothers should make the same feeding decisions.

25%

tethersend · 13/04/2010 12:02

I think we're all in danger of missing the real issue here...

..Namely, that Nicky H-J has a new range of glasses out- how marvelous!

AitchTwoZone · 13/04/2010 12:10

lol tethersend.

piglet and britfish, i stand by the fact that breast is best and anyone who thinks otherwise is a bit of an idiot.

certainly they're idiotic enough not to have read the whole thread and seen that i ff my two dds.

Sassybeast · 13/04/2010 12:10

Breast feeding or home births aside, i agree with your thread title 'in general' OP

MmeLindt · 13/04/2010 12:14

I hardly even noticed the BF statement, I was still in shock at the fact that her waters broke, and she was not admitted to hospital for another 4 days?

72 hours after the waters breaking her midwives took advice from hospital who told her to come in the following day, she went in that night, was put on a drip (I presume) and laboured for another 12 hours before having a CS.

I thought that the max time from waters breaking to birth was not supposed to be so long?

AitchTwoZone · 13/04/2010 12:20

they wouldn't let me go overnight with broken waters, because of strep b. told me that if i didn't have it they'd have let me go up to 48 hours, twenty four out of hosp, then in to be observed.

the celebrity fanny is a different thing, however. totally germ-free.

SloanyPony · 13/04/2010 12:26

When my waters broke, the midwives laughed and said I'd probably just lost a bit of urine. I said, no, it wasn't that hole, and there was lots of it, and it smelled a bit like Cilit Bang, can you please examine me? But they weren't having a bar of it. First time mum, what would I know? 5 days later during an examination with a consultant they asked when my waters broke, and nearly hit the roof when I explained the situation...

pigletmania · 13/04/2010 15:37

Aitch I did not say that breast is not beast on the whole, that it might not be for everyone like she suggested that she tried to her baby was obviously not getting enough milk so she had to use formula so what, she has a happy and healthy baby who will hopefully grow up into a happy and healthy adult. She made a decision that was right for them and continuing to struggle to bf was not one of them. I had to as well. There is an article in Take a Break about this and the guilt women put themselves through as they feel that they are letting their baby down and not doing the best for them, when that is not so.

pointydog · 13/04/2010 15:58

yabu

she had a terrible birth and then a bloody awful time trying to breastfeed. She's telling her own story and giving her own opinions. The world can take it.

MmeLindt · 13/04/2010 16:01

Sloany
That is dreadful. Lucky you and your baby are ok.

pigletmania · 13/04/2010 16:59

OMG Soloany how awful and unprofessional that is disgusting treatment of you. Hope that you made a complaint.

pigletmania · 13/04/2010 17:04

Yes if all going well breast is best and why switch to formula when you have something natural and tailor made for the baby, but if like many on here breastfeeding is not going well, mum is struggling to bf and also emotionally, and baby is not getting enough milk, than breast is not best for them and they should do what they think is best like switching to formula, it may be permanently, or just so that baby gets a sufficient feed so that mum can rest and try and build up supply and get support to help her bf.

bellissima · 13/04/2010 17:08

I agree she had a lousy time. But what I didn't like was the fact that the title scarily implied she had a lousy time because she chose a home birth. The truth was that almost certainly neither a HB or indeed a normal hospital birth was ever going to be possible because of the positio baby/cord etc. This would almost certainly result in a lousy time and disappointment if you wanted a HB. But the MWs were responsible, she was rightly directed to hospital when it was clear things weren't going to work out, and in the end everything was done as could be done. Every sympathy that she didn't get what she wanted, but no need for dramatic scary title. I wouldn't personally choose a HB but i see no reason to try and suggest (quite possibly the DM not her) that that was a terrible or scary decision for her.

As for the bfing - I had whopper babies and struggled. And when i got so tired that the milk was in danger of drying up I did a bit of mixed feeding. I know that some orthodoxies say oh no once you do that then you might as well give up the bfing but my hungry varms couldn't care where the milk came from, and so I carried on bfing. But then her choice is her choice and I agree you have to respect that.

MorrisZapp · 13/04/2010 17:11

YABU

If she was saying 'yay BF is great, it transformed my baby' or whatever, nobody would care that it was the DM, or that she's got a new specs range out.

She just didn't say what you want new mothers to say. Good for her. Women should be allowed to be totally honest about birth, feeding etc and not expected to paint a rosy, fictional picture for the sake of promoting something that for many women doesn't exist.

bellissima · 13/04/2010 17:15

In fact I did exactly what piglet suggests - and if I'm honest one feed in the middle of the night became bottle on a regular basis - which DH could administer! I think the problem is that some pro- bfers actually discourage that when quite honestly I really needed time to 'recharge'. The old 'only 4% of mothers have problems producing enough - and I know all of them!' Friend of mine is mixed feeding at the moment. But sometimes you feel guilty doing even that - which is daft.

anonandlikeit · 13/04/2010 17:22

The only thing that marred the first few weeks with ds1 was the absolute total pressure & expectation that I felt from every health care person that I should automatically be able to produce an endless supply of milk on demand.
When, after trying b/feeding for weeks & hating it & having a grumpy, hungry baby i eventually got the courage to switch to formula I was made to feel like a total failure.
But guess what, ds1 is a happy healthy 10 yr old & it did him no harm.

Yes I'm sure breast is best BUT PLEASE PLEASE stop hounding us mother who for whatever reason CHOSE not to b/feed.

You can have a happy healthy mum & baby & use formula.

Original poster
woahthere · 13/04/2010 19:18

anon, im not being funny love but if you look at my posts i think you'll find there has been precisely no hounding done anywhere. Most of you are barking up the wrong tree with my objections to the article...a few have picked up on it though...like belissima says the lousy title implying it was the home birth that made it so scary. I dont know what area of the country you all live in but I have never lived anywhere and had breastfeeding forced upon me or been made to feel pressured. (Entirely the opposite the truth be known). Morriszap...nothing wrong with her telling her story about how the birth went and her experience after but why feel the need to then tell us all how 'A happy mother is a happy child. So many girls at my NCT class have had mastitis and bleeding nipples. I think, "Why do we do this to ourselves?" '

That is an irresponsible thing to say because people will read it and it gives such a negative view of breastfeeding overall, breastfeeding rates are so low as it is do we really need someone else adding to it?

Straight after saying that she made the switch to formula she starts going on about how he sleeps through the night and shes so happy and oooh look at all those bleeding nipples women, why dont they do the same as me? Errrrm, maybe because they dont have low milk supply and they are having some problems but these problems may be overcome and they may go on to have a very happy breastfeeding experience. I just find it all so smug

OP posts:
anonandlikeit · 13/04/2010 19:47

Woahthere, Sorry love but my post wasn't really aimed as a response to your comments or posts BUT just sharing my experience where the pressure to b/f was so intense & the support not there to back it up.
The result a first time mum feeling like a failure & an unhappy time for all.

Actually the hounding statement wasn't really aimed at you either, (but I can see how it reads like that) but more of a plea for more balanced info.

titch7069 · 13/04/2010 19:55

with my dd1 (born '99) dd2 (born '02) bf was pushed in hospital (was planning to anyway) with dd3 (born '09) ff was heavily pushed in the same hospital, i was considered weird by midwifes and nurses and asked everytime they came round if i wanted to switch to ff, bizarre!

FabIsGoingToGetFit · 13/04/2010 19:59

She thinks your natural instinct it to look after yourself first.

My natural instinct was to tell dh to save the baby not me when on the way to my emergency section.

MmeLindt · 13/04/2010 19:59

I was most annoyed by the headline suggesting that the problems she had during the birth were caused by her choosing a homebirth, but suppose that is the DM not her phrasing.

BF/FF is such an emotive subject, it is hard to have a discussion about it because so many women were made to feel guilty for not BF.

Breast is Best but Formula is Fine too.