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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think nicky hambleton jones is irresponsible and ridiculous

147 replies

woahthere · 12/04/2010 22:20

this quote in particular has got my back up....
'Eventually, when he was eight days old and screaming all the time, I gave him formula milk: he was a transformed baby. The best thing I ever did was forget the breast and move on to the bottle.'

The whole article has annoyed me to be honest, it is about her horrible birth but has been written with the angle of...home birth is dangerous and why bother breastfeeding you'll just get cracked nipples. silly cow.

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1265496/Nicky-Hambleton-Jones-shunned-NHS-private-home-birth--thi ngs-went-terribly-wrong-.html#ixzz0kvHmx1a9

OP posts:
Rollmops · 13/04/2010 07:54

scoutliam - you owe me a new keyboard

ShadeofViolet · 13/04/2010 07:55

Irresponsible - No
Honest - Yes.

StewieGriffinsMom · 13/04/2010 07:58

This reply has been deleted

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mummalish · 13/04/2010 08:07

I am very pro breastfeeding, but think its absolutely fine to use formula, it really is a choice, and one that deserves no comment.

What I did find distasteful thought, was the fact that she had to blab to a newspaper about the fact that breastfeeding didnt work and that formula was a lifesaver for her. She could have kept her comments about that to herself as if trying to justify herself. She doesnt need to justify herself, she should rather just shut up!!

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 13/04/2010 08:17

""where exactly on this thread are you reading a 'Mumsnet breast is best' line? and breast is best, anyone who doesn't accept that is being a bit of an idiot tbh"

thats quite a spectacular contradiction there, and quite insulting to people who use formula.
just because its NATURAL doesnt mean its bloody best.
breastfeeding good, formula good. whatever feel better for you and your baby."

Actually I think it's difficult to contradict the fact breastmilk is best for baby if possible, that doesn't mean that formula is bad.

startagain · 13/04/2010 08:27

She's not irresponsible or ridiculous. She's just telling her story, as we all do

Bessie123 · 13/04/2010 08:39

I don't think she is irresponsible but she was quite stupid.

  1. For the £4K she spent on that home delivery company she could have had a natural birth at the Portland

  2. it is stupid to wait a week after your waters have broken before being induced

  3. she probably did have enough milk, I should think she wasn't hydrating herself enough or putting the baby on the breast enough (both mistakes I also made)- you can turn that around with a bit of research.

  4. I hate that 'poor me' tone, loads of women have worse births than that, some with tragic outcomes. This was all her own choice, she is not a victim so she should stop behaving like one.

It's good to see she came through it and wants more children though.

pigletmania · 13/04/2010 08:47

Well actually AitchTwoZone there is, whilst the majority of people here are really supportive and dont look down upon people who for some reason dont bf, there are some dare I say it bf matrons, and yes i have come accross them here on MN, who have blatantly said that those who switch to formula after struggeling to bf are lazy, not trying hard enough, and are letting their babies down. Nicky Hambelton JOnes is entitled to talk about her birth and bf experience without criticsm has just given her account of her experience and is not trying to generalise state facts. Just because she is in the public eye should she have a perfect birth and bf experience . Whilst bf is natural and normal, it will not work for everybody, and why should they struggle with it if it is not working like in this case. She put her baby on formula and it was best for them. Formula is not some nasty poison, just because people on here are a bit about promoting it

samsonara · 13/04/2010 08:57

I don't think she's irresponsible or ridiculous, just a new mum, sharing her experience, must have been a shock for her having the difficulites in the later months and a bigger weight baby. I expect she wanted to try and fulfill her desire to breastfeed as she couldn't have the birth plan she wanted was prepared to hold out a slong a spossible and ofcourse a baby who has had a satisfactory feed is going to be a happy baby, must have been a huge relief. It's the easily impressionable people who are a bit irresponsible and ridiculous imo, because they take things at face value, if someone reads this and thinks bottle is better than breast or c-section better than home or whatever then that's wrong. Be informed and choose what fits your wishes or needs to be, the main thing is to get baby out and then growing, When they are past the constant milk drinking stage it hardly matters. I've see a lot of happy babys and toddlers who had alot of different starts to life no one's way is better than anyone elses, but ofcourse everyone is entitled to think it is, it's normal to feel like that as everyone who is willing and able tries to do their best for their babies
babies,

lowenergylightbulb · 13/04/2010 09:11

I had a similar experience to NHJ. Protracted first labour, 4 day stay in hospital etc..

I was dead set on bfeeding, but it was hard. DD cried constantly and wasn't gaining weight. One night DP dug out the steriliser, bottles and formula (which I had so smugly placed in the cupboard, certain that I wouldn't need them, made up some SMA and bingo - for the first time in 10 days DD stopped crying. She then gained weight and was a much more contented baby and I didn't end up throwing myself out of the window.

For me and my child formula milk was a godsend.

porcamiseria · 13/04/2010 09:11

ah a MN breastfeeding nazi! happy days!

No she is just telling her story, some women DONT produce enough milk. Thats why in the days of yore they had wet nurses. These days, people use formula. End of story

Hollyoaks · 13/04/2010 09:18

I'm not sure what the issue is? She tried to bf which is surely positive, but couldn't manage, many people can't. She switched to formula and it was a godsend for her as her baby was now content and it obviously took pressure off of her. I think its actually quite positive to promote the fact the bf is not easy and not everyone can do it and its ok to stop if its not working.

Like many have said, she has no links to birth, bf etc.. and so has no loyalty to one form of feeding or another. She sold her story as many celebs do, big deal.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 13/04/2010 09:29

I hate this story. The poor poor woman clearly had a traumatic birth, as do women across the UK, with the only difference being that she is a sleb.

I really hope she doesn't regret the comments where says that it's instinct to put oneself first (said in the context of losing a lot of blood post natally and asking her husband to take the baby away). This is such a personal time, yet she has discussed it with a reporter and is now in the national press

GrendelsMum · 13/04/2010 09:34

It seems a bit of a non-story to me, really, although I do feel sorry for her. I'd agree with ILoveMyDog that she may find herself regretting having discussed this very personal experience with the national press. I wonder if she found herself being more unguarded than she'd planned and saying things that you'd be happy to say to your friends, but don't necessarily want to be written down for posterity. Have to say that I think her DH / DPs should have strongly suggested she didn't give interviews for a while.

iamwhatiamwhatiam · 13/04/2010 09:43

I had a v v similar exp.

Traumatic birth, 9 pound 11 baby, lost 20% of birthweight in 6 days and admitted to hospital for formula top ups.

BUt I did manage to carry on breastfeeding.

You know why? Mumsnet, esp tiktok.

That's the difference - fantastic support. I feel sorry for her that she didn't have it.

TheFoosa · 13/04/2010 09:44

her glasses are rather nice though

edwardcullensotherwoman · 13/04/2010 09:52

I wouldn't say she's irresponsible or ridiculous - did you read the whole article? Your quote out of context does make her sound irresponsible, but when read as part of the article as a whole, you can understand why she says it - it's a fact that she couldn't produce enough milk for her baby, and the only way to give him more milk was to move to formula. And everyone knows that when a baby has enough milk, they're satisfied and happy. Whereas if they don't they scream - just like she said her son did.
I am a bit about why she's discussed the story in so much detail with the press though - I mean, I wanted to talk about my not-very-good experience when my son was born, but just to get it out of my system, not tell the world.
FWIW I do feel sorry for her though, sounds an awful experience.

peppapighastakenovermylife · 13/04/2010 09:53

I really dont understand why this is evidence against home birth though? Women goes into labour (first baby?) and fails to progress so goes to hospital to be induced.

And that makes home birth dangerous and a negative thing? I thought the article was going to say that she had some kind of traumatic birth at home and was blue lighted to hospital with her bum in the air and the paramedics hand holding the baby up. Or she had a PPH.

No story really is it - happens to lots of women each day.

iamwhatiamwhatiam · 13/04/2010 09:55

I agree peppa.

LittleMissHissyFit · 13/04/2010 10:02

Her waters broke and nothing happened for FIVE DAYS????

I had planned a home birth, my waters broke, they took me in the next day and induced me, for fear of infection.

My milk never came in either, DS screamed literally every 20 minutes for 2 weeks.... I had BF counselling, the MW came round almost every day to see if I was doing anything wrong, I wasn't. DS lost a lot of weight and in the end I had to concede and FF.

FF is NOT Satans Nectar, it feeds babies when we mums can't, for whatever reason.

IMO the writer is talking about FF to tell women (like me) that you are NOT a failure if you can't feed your baby. We all know BF is best, it's what is natural etc etc, but try telling that to my breasts.... they were having none of it. I refuse to feel bad for doing the next best thing, and making sure my DS actually lived.

BigBadMummy · 13/04/2010 10:09

who are we to judge?

Personally I cannot stand seeing her on TV but that does not give me the right to comment on her labour or how she feeds her baby.

She clearly had a horrendous time of it and if she made the decision at 8 days to bottle feed him, then that was obviously the right thing to do.

Doesn't make her the devil in sling backs.

ScreaminEagle · 13/04/2010 10:19

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LilyBolero · 13/04/2010 10:20

It's a crappy article, doesn't really tell you much info amidst the contradictions.

One line that really irritated me was talking about her £4k midwives...

"For the first six months they visited once a month, then fortnightly and every week when you're in your final month.

'Every time they come, they check the heartbeat of the baby, take your blood pressure, check your urine - the support was phenomenal and worth every penny.'"

That's pretty well what my lovely NHS midwife does - slightly fewer visits, but I prefer that anyway. She also delivered dd and ds2 at home, and I hope she will deliver ds3 in 3-4 weeks time.

JustAnotherManicMummy · 13/04/2010 11:07

lolol Lily I thought that too about spending £4k on something you can have for free

TheFantasticFixit · 13/04/2010 11:11

I rolled my eyes at this article as well, and whoever pointed out that it is contradictory is right - it was. NHJ only showed me that I was right in my assumption that she is pretty vacuous to be honest, and yes she had a terrible labour, and I have a lot of sympathy with that but the whole article was inflammatory (what a surprise, with it being in the mail and all...)

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