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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to let DD (4) play out?

119 replies

faddle · 09/04/2010 11:01

We live in a very quiet cul-de-sac one cul-de-sac with 3 blind ends if you see what I mean. There are 8 houses in our bit, so not exactly busy cars wise. DD is almost 4, and wanting to play out on her bike with her 5 year old friend. Am I being unreasonable to let her do this while keeping an eye on her out of the front window? Everyone on our street has kids and they are all used to kids playing out and go v slowly, and DD knows to get off bike and stand at side until car is gone or driver gets out.
Am I being unreasonable to let her out without me watching her every second?

OP posts:

runnybottom · 09/04/2010 11:05

I wouldn't let a three year old play in the street without me. And I'm a pretty relaxed parent as they go.

bargainhuntingbetty · 09/04/2010 11:05

No, I would let her out to play as long as she knows the boundaries etc. From what you are saying it sounds pretty safe and she wouldnt be out alone if there are lots of kids out. Go for it.

2shoes · 09/04/2010 11:05

yabu
way to young imo, umless you are out there

bruffin · 09/04/2010 11:06

We live in a similar cul-de-sac and most of the children including mine have played out from that age.

worldgonemad72 · 09/04/2010 11:07

Each to their own i guess but i wouldn't.

Original poster

faddle · 09/04/2010 11:07

I'm still in two minds you see - she knows she is not allowed further than the corner, which is as far as I can see from front window, apart from a hedge in next doors garden, I can see the whole street. I have just tried it for 15 minutes and she has done as asked and gone no further than corner etc.

OP posts:

mumblechum · 09/04/2010 11:08

Too young imo. In fact, way way too young at 3 yrs old.

ShinyAndNew · 09/04/2010 11:09

I would have let dd1 as she was very grown up for 3, but there is no way in hell I'd have let dd2.

It's your child, you know her best.

Original poster

faddle · 09/04/2010 11:11

mmm. She is very savvy and a very mature almost 4. I think I will go for it, but under very strict guidelines and only with me looking out the window.

OP posts:

coldtits · 09/04/2010 11:12

YABU

Just because she KNOWS something doesn't mean she will always do it.

I'd never let a child out of my property without me unless I could reasonably expect them to be responsible for many of their own actions. Your DD is the same as Ds2. I've only just started letting my 7 year old do this, and although I live on a rough estate where 'playing out' young is normal (and actually a lot safer than in the suburbs, what with all the adults at home all day and all the houses rammed together and hardly any cars) it is very frowned on to let a preschooler out of the garden without another child aged over 8.

coldtits · 09/04/2010 11:14

they are very easy to distract at this age.

Try this with her. Give her a chocolate button on a plate, and tell her if she eats it, she's not in trouble but if she waits for 15 minutes you'll give her two more.

lifeas3plus1 · 09/04/2010 11:14

She sounds sensible for her age and if you can see her at all times then I don't see the problem. It sounds like a safe area.

Just call her back in at regular intervals to remind her of the rules etc.

vickyob · 09/04/2010 11:19

Id let her play out. My dd (5) ds (3) and dd (2) play out the front of ours with me watching from the lounge. How will they ever learn if we dont let them off the leash ? People complain that kids today dont have the freedom we had but surely thats because we dont give it to them. I blame the media.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 09/04/2010 11:22

Your street sounds very similar to mine
dd started playing out at 5
she has never abused our trust, always sticks to boundaries and tells us if she is going in her friends garden

so I think 3 is a little young, but if you trust your dc to be sensible, and you can see her, yanbu.
My only concern would be cars, but as you are in a cul de sac the potential danger is minimal imo

gingernutlover · 09/04/2010 11:23

i would let her once she was school age - and then only if there were older children i knew and trusted to keep an eye on her.

WhoIsAsking · 09/04/2010 11:23

No, I wouldn't let a 3 year old play in the street on her own.

redskyatnight · 09/04/2010 11:25

I let my daughter play out the front when she was 3. She had very strict boundaries and I did check up regularly.

It depends on your child and your environment. You know that better than anyone - there is no one size fits all.

Original poster

faddle · 09/04/2010 11:28

yea. there isnt really a lot of difference between me standing in the front window and standing in the street, as the front door is next to the window and we have no enclosed garden, just about 10ft of grass, then the paved area that passes for the road. I suppose I should really have said all this first.

OP posts:

LadyintheRadiator · 09/04/2010 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maduggar · 09/04/2010 11:30

I probably would.

LadyintheRadiator · 09/04/2010 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

faddle · 09/04/2010 11:35

I meant savvy and mature for a 3 year old. When DS (5.5) got hold of a sharp knife the other week, DD came straight away and told me that he had the knife and it was dangerous. That is quite savvy and mature for a 3 year old I think. Especially bearing in mind that DS who is almost 2 years older than her didnt recognise the danger and thought it was an OK thing to do. And there is a whole WORLD of difference between a child who is just 3 and a child who is 4 next month......

OP posts:

twinkerbell · 09/04/2010 11:37

my dd is 6 and I am now actively looking for a house in a cul de sac for exactly this reason! She is an only child, has started wanting to go out on her bike and scooter but cannot where wil live at the moment as it is too busy and all our neighbours are oldish.
I think now at age 6 I would be really happy if I lived in that kind of location so she could play and out make friends but at 3? I think perhaps it is a little too young??

WhoIsAsking · 09/04/2010 11:37

The problem with children of this age is their absolute ability to disappear in an instant.

My DS2 managed to get away from me at the library once. I literally turned my back to put a book back on the shelf and when I turned back he was gone. He managed to get out of the library, across the main street and into the shopping centre across the road.

Maleeka · 09/04/2010 11:40

Our cul de sac is the same, loads of kids running around, but there is always someones mum or dad out there with them if there are little ones there, to keep an eye on all of them.

To be honest i wouldnt be able to relax if i didnt know that there was a responsible person around, so i'd probably just go out myself and enjoy the sunshine with her while it lasts

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