to let DD (4) play out?

[faddle]

We live in a very quiet cul-de-sac one cul-de-sac with 3 blind ends if you see what I mean. There are 8 houses in our bit, so not exactly busy cars wise. DD is almost 4, and wanting to play out on her bike with her 5 year old friend. Am I being unreasonable to let her do this while keeping an eye on her out of the front window? Everyone on our street has kids and they are all used to kids playing out and go v slowly, and DD knows to get off bike and stand at side until car is gone or driver gets out.
Am I being unreasonable to let her out without me watching her every second?

leaving this thread now

DD is cooking my dinner and cant find the matches for the stove

This afternoon my dd (3) was out playing with her brothers (7 and 6) and a friend (8). They had a great time. I couldn't see them all the time but I had the front door open so I could hear everything.

I'm just waiting for the poster to come along who will say that people who allow their dc to play outside without a parent obviously there should be reported to ss. There are some who are getting awfully close.

That's dreadful Cirrhosis, of course - but I still believe that children should be allowed freedom from an early age. I wouldn't let my 3 year old out alone, but if he was with other older children then of course I would. He was out playing very happily with our next door neighbours little boy who is 5 and his big sister who is 10. Didn't worry me one bit.

your child, your choice maisie

However I do not agree that me NOT letting my 3 year old play out in front of a house near a road, is not allowing freedom. Freedom comes in many forms during childhood and a thoughtful parent will increase it as the child ages and matures to include time alone.

I will just never think time alone at 3, by a road, is necessary. Nothing to be done in the house more important than supervising your 3 yo. And that does not = overprotectiveness or lack of freedom and i resent any implication that it does

I let my DS (4) play outside with his mates (who are 6) But outside the front there is no road and just grass, the cul de sac starts further down our road iyswim which DS is not allowed down (and he doesn't)

However DD (only 2 atm) probably will not be allowed the same freedom at the same age as she tests boundaries more than her brother who has twigged he get more freedom if he does what mummy says iyswim

Well, I could 'resent' your implication that I'm not a thoughtful parent, or that I should be inside the house supervising my child - but I won't because I can't summon the energy to get worked up. And yes, my child, my choice.

A 3 or 4 YO is too young.Standing in the house is much different to being out their on the road.
In the OPs case I presume people are driving in/backing out of their driveways from time to time , so even if your child is on the pavement they are not safe.At that age however sensible they are (and you really can't rely on that) they are very small for drivers to see.
There is an argument for saying a very quiet road is more dangerous than a busier one because a car is unexpected.

no you're misunderstanding me maisie - I'm not saying you're not thoughtful; you have thought your thoughts and decided what you have, that's why I say your child your choice; all I'm saying is that it is NOT overprotective and NOT a sign that you are a parent who does not allow any freedom, if you DON'T let your tiny child out unsupervised. Which is the line trotted out by some on here. It's not logical - it doesn't follow.

Its hardly overprotective not to let toddlers out to play with adult supervision. I'm all for freedom for children, but not at 3 years old!
If it works for you fine, none of my business, but "please fgs let your children out" is really quite ridiculous when talking about 3 yr olds.

And yes children have always been allowed to play outside, and children have always been hit by cars/wandered off/played on building sites and got hurt etc...thats nothing new!

My nearly 4yo played outside in the street today. Initially he was with his 10yo brother but bro and friend wandered off. 4yo continued to play in front of the house and by the garage on his trike. I listened and looked for him at intervals of about 10-15 minutes. I feel absolutely fine about it.

He was probably just as safe as he would have been indoors, tbh, when I might only have checked him every 30 minutes or so and god knows what he might get up to.

Thing is, there are just so many variables when you're asked to judge a situation like this on behalf of someone else. You really can only go with your own instinct.

I agree, it doesn't make you overprotective just because you don't let your 3/4 or even older child out to play on the street. Also, doesn't mean your child doesn't walk to school/go to the park etc just because they don't play on the streets or that they will be deprived of independence.

I think I'm with Vickyob on this one. As I type, my 3 dds are out playing - they are nearly 9, 7 and 3. Normally the older two play out with their friends but they wanted to take dd3 with them today. Dh has just checked and she is fine. I think we should give our children as much freedom as possible.

If you're a bit worried, why not let her out but keep a watch out from your front garden for a bit. Make sure she is with other children.

I would never have let either of my dc do this whether 3 or 4. I would be very concerned if I came across a child this age on their own on the road.

I think you'd already made your mind up tbh. And I think you are being unreasonable. There is no way I would let a three year old play out alone, whether I could see him/her or not.

I used to let DS play out in the cul-de-sac we lived in when he was this age.(Along with his 7yo brother) I always left the front door open, and there was always another parent out there (almost every house had young children), although I didn't expect the other parents to be keeping an eye on DS. I actually found it harder work than having the children in the house, as I was constantly having to check up on them, but over all I think it was brilliant for socialising. How about sitting outside with a book, so you can keep an eye on her?

There was one incident when DS2 suddenly disappeared into thin air. One minute there, the next he wasn't. Turned out he'd gone into another child's garage and they'd closed the door. One hell of a scary moment for me.

Well sounds like you're going to do it anyway, but if you're still looking for opinions, YABU. Much too young.

Having thought about it more....we lived in a cul-de-sac when dS1 was 3, and NO WAY would I have let him play out on his own there.

We lived in a different cul-de-sac when he was 4, a dead end, down a dead end, and I wouldn't have let him play out then because I didn't trust him to disappear of into oblivion, and also the situation of our house mean you couldn't really see the rest of the drive.

I think it makes a huge difference where you live, they layout of the road, if you know your neighbours,what type of child you have, etc.