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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this really quite...well, pathetic.

212 replies

BritFish · 03/04/2010 18:10

my son has just got a new girlfriend, who lives the next town over but goes to the same college. she is lovely, and she was telling me today about how her and 3 friends are getting the train to a theme park as a birthday thing. the train station is a good 30 minute walk to the theme park, which isnt a problem, except they dont know the area.
i asked her if noone could give her a lift and she said he dad was working and her mum doesnt drive on motorways.
i immediately thought shed had an accident on one and that made her nervous, i asked in a roundabout way and DS's girlfriend said that everyone always assumes that but her mum just refuses to drive on motorways as they are 'too much stress'
she sighed and just said they [her and her dad] had given up trying to talk sense into her, and that its caused massive fallouts and problems in the past.

AIBU in thinking this woman is deeply unreasonable and frankly worrying?
fair enough to dislike motorways, im not keen myself, but its got to be done sometimes!
surely to be safe on the road you need to be comfortable with different roads etc?
i still cant believe they dont do motorway driving in driving tests though...

OP posts:
coolma · 03/04/2010 20:22

I am always astounded at the shit driving on motorways anyway. Why do big cars think it's perfectly acceptable to go bombing past at about 90? I may be old fashioned but surely there's a speed limit for a reason? I poddle along at 60 max in the slow lane and don't give a toss who gets cross with me!

DebiNewberry · 03/04/2010 20:30

Frankly worrying? No, I honestly could not care less whether other people do or don't drive on motorways. YABU.

plimsolls · 03/04/2010 20:31

The posters who wondered if it was OK to call yourself a good driver if you don't drive on motorways...(am paraphrasing a little). I can only speak for myself really but I'm fairly sure I'm fine at driving on motorways, haven't had any problems when I have driven on them (and have had to do so a lot more recently due to work etc) but I avoid it when I can because I am scared of the high speeds, amount of traffic, the amount of drivers who go really really fast, constant stress over which lane to be in, etc etc. And when I say scared, I don't mean that I panic or don't know what to do, I just don't really like the feeling and would rather not have it. If that makes sense.

I do totally agree that there should be a bit of motorway driving in the test/driving lessons, althugh I learnt to drive on the isle of wight where there aren't any motorways so would have been tricky.

duende · 03/04/2010 21:03

I feel the same as plimsolls.
I don't like motorways and avoid them if possible. If I have to drive on one, I will do it, but I am scared of other drivers - their speed, them losing control over the car, etc.
I think every time I have been on motorways I saw an accident, and they do look scary.

mitochondria · 03/04/2010 21:57

YABU.

I am another non-motorway driver.

Plimsolls - I learnt on the IOW too. Round and round the Coppins Bridge roundabout.

WorzselMummage · 03/04/2010 22:02

My Mil wouldn't visit me in hospital when i had DD because she'd have to drive on a motoway to get there.

I thought (and still think) it's hugely sad.

iamwhatiamwhatiam · 03/04/2010 22:27

COuldn't she get the train worzsel?

BikeRunSki · 03/04/2010 22:30

I have a friend who drove from the French Alps to Scotland without using motorways. He hates them too. I don't think he is pathetic and respect that he can work around his phobia.

WorzselMummage · 03/04/2010 22:36

I shouldn't think she's ever been on a train in her life.

MintHumbug · 03/04/2010 22:47

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paisleyleaf · 03/04/2010 22:52

So how far would she have to drive/wait around etc to save them a half hour walk?
Like someone said earlier, it's best that anyone nervous of motorway driving isn't driving on one. They can be a danger.

sarah293 · 03/04/2010 22:56

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MangoTango · 03/04/2010 22:57

I never drive on motorways. A fear of motorway driving is very common and you and the woman's family are BU for being so unpleasant about it. When you think about it a fear of driving is not irrational as someone could get killed.

LeQueen · 03/04/2010 23:02

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2old4thislark · 03/04/2010 23:05

Exactly. It takes quite a leap of faith to trust others around you not to drive like twat! It only takes the slightest mistake and an accident at speed can be fatal. Quite a rational fear then.

sarah293 · 03/04/2010 23:06

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piscesmoon · 03/04/2010 23:06

Walking will do them good. I hate driving on motorways. I have to do it next week, about 100 miles and back, but I hate it and avoid it where ever possible. Much better to admit to it-would you want to be driven by someone who is extremely nervous about it? I drive because it gives me my freedom and independence, but I don't like it. I hate big roundabouts with lights too, unless I am using the first exit!

pigletmania · 03/04/2010 23:08

ERhm LeQueen I am shocked, its not the law that to have a valid driving licence you have to drive on a motorway! If that were the case driving tests would also include motorway driving too which they dont. There are many people who drive competantly and have done for years who do not go on the motorway, I think someone would know when they are going to enter a motorway, there are enough signs about. hy should this girls mum do something that makes her feel uncomfortable, paniky and might cause a major accident.

pigletmania · 03/04/2010 23:10

I would rather stick to non motorway driving and be happy and comfortable, then go on the motorway where i am completely out of my depth and as a result might cause a major accident. I dont drive btw, I would love to but failed my driving tests 4 times. If I did pass I might not do motorway driving.

juneybean · 03/04/2010 23:12

I find driving on the motorway frankly terrifying sometimes, especially the amount of lorries, I have nightmares that they're going to move over and crush me lol.

poshwellies · 03/04/2010 23:15

We had a huge accident,I wasn't driving (dh was) I was a learner but now I can't drive due to the accident as my confidence is shot.

Our car flipped 3 times and ended up on it's roof, crushed on a busy A road (wet,greasy road).Dh was injured.

I've not driven since but dh has had to as he had a commute and we need to get places -he's still nervous but does it.It's been 2 years now and he's ok,he's pushed himself into driving though.

I can't bring myself to drive as I feel so shit as a passenger ,there is no way I can drive without panicky feelings.

Your MIL isn't unreasonable,she just needs some help with her fears.

shockers · 03/04/2010 23:16

I think it's perfectly sensible not to drive on a motorway if you don't feel confident.

If you want to feel confident but don't yet, there are specialist driving instructors.

As I said earlier... I would prefer not to drive on the motorway alongside folk who are nervous or over confident because of the risk they pose.

Perhaps a motorway test is overdue?

MintHumbug · 03/04/2010 23:19

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shockers · 03/04/2010 23:20

posh... I'm not a great passenger but feel much better when I'm driving.

ScreaminEagle · 03/04/2010 23:27

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