to not want DP to go in a lapdancing club on his mates stag do?

[mummee09v]

my dp is off on a stag night in a couple of months. its just a load of mates going out in town but there has been talk about them going in lapdancing bars.

i have laughed it off to my dp and tried to be the cool girlfriend about it and made out i couldnt care less as i dont want to seem controlling or jealous. i have even said i dont care if he has a private dance! because i want to come across as cool, as i know his ex used to stop him doing things and i dont want to be like that as he really resented her for it.

but i HATE the idea of it and know i will be furious if he does end up in one. the thought of him ogling some naked girl/s who will probably be a)younger then me b)prettier than me and c)have a better body than me (i have had 2 kids, say no more) kills me....i know that it would only be a laugh for them and nothing would happen other than them looking at the girls but i would be so jealous, coz how could he not compare their young fit bodies to my 30 year old, had-2-kids body?

so i am kind of testing him in a way by saying i dont care, and "allowing" him to go in one, but surely if he loved and fancied me as much as he says he does he wouldnt need to go look at sexy young girls?

also the stag's bride is my best friend (in fact i will be on her hen do the same night) and i know for a fact she would go nuts if she found out her husband to be had been in one as we have already spoken about it and she has the same insecurities as me.

Oblomov....perhaps we have a different point of view because she is not old or fat?

In my limited experience people that don't mind their DH's going are either old and past it, have very unattractive husbands or have never been the centre of male attention. Whilst most of my reasons are because we have a daughter, I was around for the ladette era when women began joining in the overtly sexual attitudes and seeking power through becoming lad like, and the fact that sex is the lowest and last thing anyone should sell....I also have an attractive husband, am attractive myself and would like to think that as far as tits jiggling and g string wearing goes that my husband has me. I am sure he finds other women attractive, I find other men attractive, but there's a passing glance and a lasting image. I prefer him to think Kelly Brook is nice without being able to easily imagine her writhing around on his cock.

Mali....are you DP? I was just making that comment to DP based on her constant need to tell us all her views on homosexuality.

Sorry PP, your comments just sounded like something straight out of SGb's "handbook".

i.e. secretly desiring the things that disgust you. I'm disgusted at Gay40 because she's a hate filled bigot, not because she's gay. I've got plenty of gay aquaintances.

You never know PP...you might miss me when I'm gone...

LeQ, MN was invaded by a bunch of IT contractors "on holiday" - but they stayed in AIBU.

Dunno, never heard of it...is it a new political party..?

Mali...I really don't understand your point. Being disgusted by someone spouting prejudice and hate toward SAHMs isn't quite the same as being homophobic.

PP you are obsessed with me being homophobic......get a grip.

Actually....I'm off to grip the iron, two massive piles of it awaits me and an episode of 'the good wife'.....oh to be highbrow!

posie parker, i am not old or fat either. was just a joke/pun/saying. I am only a few years older than Op, have 2 children and am slim'ish.

can you not take my posts seriously becasue i joked about being old and fat ?

LeQueen...you know you are the exception to all the rules.

and...Yes I am.....(sheepishly)

I am clearly writing shit and should step away from MN...four nights of crappy sleep with at least two children per night waking, vomiting, coughing, filling a nappy.....

What LeQueen said!

Some of us are relaxed and secure in our relationships and feel no need to police our dh.

Neither Dh or I are old or unattractive, in fact we're pretty damn hot neither are we needy or suspicious or insecure.

I read your thread about the blog too.

Right...the blog thing, what if I hated these places before boyfriends.....is it still because I am insecure?

posie, which category do i fall into then ?
are they the only categories/only possibilities ?

Oh see now in RL, I would be retracting a stupid comment, telling everyone how stupid to say such thing and nodding profusely as everyone explains why I am worng.....

What the fuck is with this thread??

LeQ....with little dcs and golden handcuffs I am at liberty to bide my time. Now I do sound like a hooker.

Ironing......NOW!!!

oh is pparker retreating now, claiming sleep depravation and blogism outing ?
oh she was pretty definite about her views a few minutes ago when i was old and fat and was unattrative/had an unattrative dh or had never had any male attention. is that being with-drawn now then ?