to not want DP to go in a lapdancing club on his mates stag do?

[mummee09v]

my dp is off on a stag night in a couple of months. its just a load of mates going out in town but there has been talk about them going in lapdancing bars.

i have laughed it off to my dp and tried to be the cool girlfriend about it and made out i couldnt care less as i dont want to seem controlling or jealous. i have even said i dont care if he has a private dance! because i want to come across as cool, as i know his ex used to stop him doing things and i dont want to be like that as he really resented her for it.

but i HATE the idea of it and know i will be furious if he does end up in one. the thought of him ogling some naked girl/s who will probably be a)younger then me b)prettier than me and c)have a better body than me (i have had 2 kids, say no more) kills me....i know that it would only be a laugh for them and nothing would happen other than them looking at the girls but i would be so jealous, coz how could he not compare their young fit bodies to my 30 year old, had-2-kids body?

so i am kind of testing him in a way by saying i dont care, and "allowing" him to go in one, but surely if he loved and fancied me as much as he says he does he wouldnt need to go look at sexy young girls?

also the stag's bride is my best friend (in fact i will be on her hen do the same night) and i know for a fact she would go nuts if she found out her husband to be had been in one as we have already spoken about it and she has the same insecurities as me.

Phwoooarrr show us a bit of leg, bit of fun.

Who is the least politically-conscious lesbian in the world?

I have to say that is rather a magnificent title, and one that I quite covet.

Molesworth;

Catholics, (and the majority of other religious people) have views on homosexulity...I'm not going into it again, but we don't think homosexuality is natural...so I am quoting a religious fact.

Gay40 has said all sahm are prostitutes......

....what can I say....do you really think I was gonna take that..?

Gay40 should deffo not be banned...she has the right to her opinion..

One other point I meant to make ( before being utterly shocked by the vile comments of gay40) was that the women who think it's harmless fun / no big deal, either have no daughters or theirs are very young and they see no connection - just wait until their little princesses are fully sexually mature, I'd lay odds they'll change their tune then.

Peole don't automatically have the right to express offensive and bigoted opinions everywhere, daftpunk- and beyond the question of people's 'rights', there is always the issue of why in earth somebody feels the need to join a forum full of people they appear to despise? Bigots have all sorts of corners of the Internet- some people on here could really do with investigating them, they might be much happier. Unless, of course, their main enjoyment in going online is purely to shock and offend. Which is not outside the realms of possibility, afterall.

BOF - loving your work (and yes, NeverChuckAPoorAttemptAtSurrealism or whatever her/his name is did pop up about 87 pages ago)

Thing is bitoffun...when you get a 1000 people together, even if all those people are women with children, various views and opinions are going to be flying around all over the place...that's a good thing imo, and although I found Gay40's post a bit much, she has the right to that opinion....I would never report her post, she might report mine...I dunno..?

The huge difference DP is Gay40 isnt personally attacking you- your post does this to her.

Then maybe this is between me and her...no need for anyone else to get involved..

...tbh, I doubt she'll give a toss what I think of her....if she does, she can report me.

OP - (yy, I am skipping 700 odd posts) - would you let/be happy with your DP (out of the context of a stag do) being danced infront of by naked women, then a private dance and goondess knows what else? If not, then of course he shouldn't be allowed under the guise of a stag do. I am sorry, out of that scenario it's cheating to me, so would definatly not be happy if DH went. I wouldn't stop him, but he would arrive back to his stuff on the doorstep. It's seedy, disgusting and tacky.

I think Gay40's statement was offensive, but I don't think she should be banned
"Bearing in mind all the stay at home mummies on here, they sell themselves evey day for their nice house, well-dressed kids and partner whop funds the bloody lot in return for a shag of an evening (and look how many complaints there are about that !!!!!)"
then I thought I've heard this kind of argument before somewhere. Isn't this the position of some feminists?
Googled and found Sheila Jeffreys saying that marriage is a form of prostitution
www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2008/nov/12/women-prostitution-marriage-sex-trade
and an Andrea Dworkin quote saying
"The argument between wives and whores is an old one; each one thinking that whatever she is, at least she is not the other."
www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/andrea_dworkin_2.html

I agree Dittany we were far better at disagreeing without being disagreeable.

Then maybe this is between me and her...no need for anyone else to get involved..

Hmm and here was me thinking i'd logged onto a public forum...

Look, this is no big deal...she said something I didn't really like, I said something that might annoy her..(who knows? looks like she's long gone anyway).....just 3 or 4 posts out of the 1000's of posts on MN today....don't blow this out of all proportion.

RIP this thread , think its hours are numbered. I just hope the OP manages to talk to her DP and starts to think about the implications of LD clubs beyond the personal 'self esteem' angle. Mummeeee - if you're still around - let us know how it works out?

yes its a shame it kind of degenerated a bit

i will let u know how i get on, thank you again to the supportive ones x

good luck

Yep, hope it works out OK for you mummee, good luck!

was just going to pop my nose round the door, to wish mumee all the best

but I don't know if I was a "supportive" one, or not

so, err, does anyone else have snow then ???

Snow? It's beautiful here- I've just got in from the beach wearing sandals.

Yes- good luck with being a bit more assertive and true to yozur feelings, OP. I also don't know whether I would be considered supportive or not either- I always think that word is misused here for "people who agree with me uncritically", whereas I believe you can be supportive of somebody by paying them the respect of presenting the full picture to them.

I am shocked that daftpunk is allowed to spout her 'hate' crime style language on this site....if she were ranting about a race she would be asked to leave. Do we really have to have our eyes violated by her shit?

"Bearing in mind all the stay at home mummies on here, they sell themselves evey day for their nice house, well-dressed kids and partner whop funds the bloody lot in return for a shag of an evening (and look how many complaints there are about that !!!!!)" Gay40

Sell ourselves? How about a mutually dependent relationship, if I did not stay at home with our children my husband could not work, either one of us could have stayed home but he was earning twice my salary, University meant I started 4 years after him and so he had a head start!)