to not want DP to go in a lapdancing club on his mates stag do?

[mummee09v]

my dp is off on a stag night in a couple of months. its just a load of mates going out in town but there has been talk about them going in lapdancing bars.

i have laughed it off to my dp and tried to be the cool girlfriend about it and made out i couldnt care less as i dont want to seem controlling or jealous. i have even said i dont care if he has a private dance! because i want to come across as cool, as i know his ex used to stop him doing things and i dont want to be like that as he really resented her for it.

but i HATE the idea of it and know i will be furious if he does end up in one. the thought of him ogling some naked girl/s who will probably be a)younger then me b)prettier than me and c)have a better body than me (i have had 2 kids, say no more) kills me....i know that it would only be a laugh for them and nothing would happen other than them looking at the girls but i would be so jealous, coz how could he not compare their young fit bodies to my 30 year old, had-2-kids body?

so i am kind of testing him in a way by saying i dont care, and "allowing" him to go in one, but surely if he loved and fancied me as much as he says he does he wouldnt need to go look at sexy young girls?

also the stag's bride is my best friend (in fact i will be on her hen do the same night) and i know for a fact she would go nuts if she found out her husband to be had been in one as we have already spoken about it and she has the same insecurities as me.

Strippers and prostitutes are both sex workers- they don't do exactly the same thing, but they are both jobs in the sex industry. I don't see what's difficult understanding that?

x-posts Milly.

Her body. Saw a documentary last year about a number of lapdancing clubs, where the women were speaking about their jobs, and saying that it was absolutely normal and expected that they would give much more than they are legally allowed to, in 'private dances'.

This is LarryGrylls,

Having been to a couple of these joints a fair few years ago, they do vary a lot. The respectable ones are purely lapdancing. In plain terms, there is no sex, no BJs and no fondling available. They observe a strict 6 inch rule where the man/girl have to be separated by a minimum of that distance. If the girl disobeys it, she loses her job. If the man becomes overly lecherous, he is thrown out by a large bouncer (I imagine painful and embarrassing). Some are brothels in disguise but they are generally the seedier ones and frequently shut down. If any woman is concerned about her man's tendency to stray, on the whole a lapdancing joint is about the safest place he can be.

As my wife said on my behalf in an earlier post (not really replied to as far as I can see), where can a bunch of (respectable) guys go at, say, midnight for a drink and a chat in reasonably convivial surroundings? In a bar, you have to queue to get served, it is loud and packed with drunks, and not everyone is a member of an exclusive club. Eight women are welcomed at every club/upmarket bar in town but eight men never make it past the bouncer. Maybe sexist but a fact.

Answering a phone can be a job in the sex industry!

Putting a grown man in nappies can be a job in the sex industry.
Tying someone up and whipping them can also be a job in the sex industry.
Hoovering naked can also be a job in the sex industry.

The sex industry is massive and all pervading and while people are having sex there will be an industry for it.

Ok I concede that stripping in in the sex industry but it is NOT prostitution.

What about so called glamour models? Are you all telling me that your DPs have never opened up page 3 of the sun and thought 'cor look at the norks on that?'

Hi, I havent read nearly half of these posts so my be repeating but I would have actually feel safer (not that I feel unsafe anyway but did in previous relationships when I was younger)if he was going to a strip club than a normal club because if he so much as laid a finger on or tried to swap a number with a girl in a strip club he will be escorted off the premises!! In a normal club a guy who intends to cheat can pick up any old scrubber.

Thats a guy who 'intends to cheat' not every guy. I think we should give all men our trust unless proved otherwise else everytime they leave the house we'll worry.

That said, no one is 100% comfortable with the thought of their man looking another girl naked...!

I am!

Also in answer to the whole Chippendale question, I think part of it is that a lot of women just wouldnt find it that much of a turn on to see a bloke dancing naked around a pole with his willy and hairy arse in your face!

Men are more visual creatures and a pair of tits turns them on. For women its all in the mind. While I of course find my DP very sexy, the thought of him (or any other guys) gyrating slowly with no clothes on just doesnt do it for me!

What is your point?

I think both are degrading to women, samstown- but there is clearly a big difference in degree between looking at a picture and having a gyrating arse in a thong waggling in your face.

larry...my DH, when on a drunken, late night out tends to go for a curry

they are open after midnight, serve great Indian beer and many will stay open until the last customer stops buying drinks at the bar

it's not rocket science

BOF - 'but there is clearly a big difference in degree between looking at a picture and having a gyrating arse in a thong waggling in your face. '

What is that difference? And you still havent answered the question - can you honestly say that you know that your DP has never been turned on by a pair of boobies on page 3?

There's a good tip for you Larry

AF - lucky you. My dh wakes me up with a half eaten donor kebab because he thinks I might want to share!

I don't have to answer personal questions, samstown- but as anybody who knows me on here will be aware, my DP has a deep and abiding respect and admiration for female beauty. He does not, however, feel the need to divest himself of sweaty five pound notes in a lap dancing club, or support the sex industry generally.

Larry - to say you need to go to lapdancing club to be able to get a drink after midnight in 'convivial' surroundings is frankly a bit odd IMO.

aww... geek, how sweet

my DH often saves some curry for me by spilling most of it down the front of his shirt

hehe

Admittedly I could be swayed by a mighty meaty!

My thoughts on this are simple, for every well paid and in control lap dancer there's another pressured into offering more, for every well paid and in control lap dancer there's another funding a drug habit, for every well paid and in control lap dancer there's another waiting outside on the corner, and another in a skanky brothel and another trafficked......

Every one in the sex industry is a line/needle/punter away from the smack head whore waiting for her next fix.

God, I'm 5 months pregnant, but this thread is enough to drive me to drink, it really is.

And it is not helped by all the numpties piling in at the end, declaring they can't be bothered to read the whole thread, and then trotting out some 'pearl of wisdom' that they think can't possibly have already been discussed and discarded in the preceeding 36 pages. Yanno, because they're so clever and insightful, like.

LeQueen - nobody expects you to see the problem - it's not your problem. Just because you're OK with something - so everyone else is expected to be as well? How does that work, then?

If my DH EVER went to one of these(again)I would go crazy.

The pack mentally is frankly pretty vile, the bravado of out fornicating each other, proving their lack of embarrassment by being hyper 'male' is horrid. I went to Pataya in Thailand, which is one giant 'fuck-a-whore' resort and I can only imagine the pack acceptance of paying for sex, paying to watch women(mostly women sometimes ladyboys and sometimes children), is similar to the undertones of a lap dancing bar. Seriously anyone who thinks it's fair for their dH/dp to go to these places should really visit Pataya, sometimes seeing a situation en masse gives a more accurate perception.