to not want DP to go in a lapdancing club on his mates stag do?

[mummee09v]

my dp is off on a stag night in a couple of months. its just a load of mates going out in town but there has been talk about them going in lapdancing bars.

i have laughed it off to my dp and tried to be the cool girlfriend about it and made out i couldnt care less as i dont want to seem controlling or jealous. i have even said i dont care if he has a private dance! because i want to come across as cool, as i know his ex used to stop him doing things and i dont want to be like that as he really resented her for it.

but i HATE the idea of it and know i will be furious if he does end up in one. the thought of him ogling some naked girl/s who will probably be a)younger then me b)prettier than me and c)have a better body than me (i have had 2 kids, say no more) kills me....i know that it would only be a laugh for them and nothing would happen other than them looking at the girls but i would be so jealous, coz how could he not compare their young fit bodies to my 30 year old, had-2-kids body?

so i am kind of testing him in a way by saying i dont care, and "allowing" him to go in one, but surely if he loved and fancied me as much as he says he does he wouldnt need to go look at sexy young girls?

also the stag's bride is my best friend (in fact i will be on her hen do the same night) and i know for a fact she would go nuts if she found out her husband to be had been in one as we have already spoken about it and she has the same insecurities as me.

Wow, when I said that they were moaning about the girls taking their money, they were joking!

Do you know what, I am glad that your and every one elses DP on here is so perfect not to ever look at another woman in a sexual way. But I do think that many of you are taking this way too seriously and are actually making huge assumptions aboutthings which I dont think you really actually know much about. So my DP has been to a lapdancing club. He had fun and had a laugh with his mates. So what?

Yes, I will consider doing research on your arse and I know this will probably get me ridiculed, but I have never seen a man strip (in a club, lol) but don't really fancy it. I think women are far more attractive beings than men to look at in this situation!

or what that offend your delicate disposition?!?

Lap dancing clubs sexualise and degrade women.

the chippendales sexualise and degrade men!! but is that ok cause they're men?

Ok, ok. So we are all set then?! I will come and pick all you MNers up in an hour and we will go to a club where all of us can drink and bitch and demean ourselves and each other...? Who's coming?!

There is a difference between looking at someone and finding them sexually attractive and looking at someone and sexually objectifying them.

I have never visited a lap dancing club, but I have known a lot of people who have worked in them, through my previous job for a voluntary sector organisation that had many sex workers as clients. I really think that the fact someone's DH had fun is a poor justification for the reality of the sex industry.

I have seen a male stripper - and let me tell you, the things he was doing were definitely degrading for him!!!

"Like I said, you sound a lot more like the creepy patrons of these places than a worker within one." do imagine the patrons look like this

Oi, I'm not creepy! I just feel the need to stand up for myself when such allegations of touching and nonsense are thrown about. Has anyone else given a valid/up-to-date idea of what working somewhere like this is like? I just thought you may all like a more balanced (lol) opinion.

I kind of covered why the Chippendales is a false comparison, I think. When men are routinely sexually assaulted and bought and sold by sex traffickers, then I'll worry more about male strippers. Until then...meh

Well I can't be arsed reading all 11 pages, but I'll throw my twopenorth in anyway.

Get a bloody grip and stop being so uptight. It's just a bit of fun. And in my opinion, if you (generic you) are so insecure that you are threatened by your partner looking at a random pair of tits, then you probably deserve to be single or deal with your self-esteem issues.

FFS every time someone brings up the 'chippendales' as some kind of support of lapdancing I want to bang my head against a wall.

The point is the general power imbalance between men and women in society.

The Chippendales do not 'degrade' men because men already control the balance of power in our society at the moment - them stripping off is not bourne out of the same economic and social inequality that effects many women.

LMFAO at mummysgoingmad .. I've seen worse

I think I linked to one woman's up-to-date account earlier, yes.

Nice, Gay40. Really pleasant. Thanks.

sams...what exactly were your dp and his mates "laughing" at ??

what was funny ??? serious question

couldn't they have had a "laugh" by just going for a curry and a few pints ?

So like I said, have you lot actually been to one of these clubs. Because I shall say it again, DP said that there are large burly men ready to open a can of whoop ass on you if you touch any of the girls. I dont think it is quite how you imagine......

gay...you might make a better-judged post next time by reading the thread first

just a thought

so you need to be deadly serious when entering a lapdancing club?

Cheers kittycat37.....it's called an opinion

Although once I did knock off a guys toupee (not a metaphor!!!) which was quite awkward, lol. The guys who frequent clubs are fairly average and dull and inadequate (well the ones who come alone anyway. Shudder). Which is probably what drives me to the drink and smack tbh

I think I might rock up on some other eleven-page thread on a topic I obviously know nothing about and tell them all to just pull their head out of their arse and see what reaction I get...