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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it slightly stingy for a couple to bring *one* bottle of Tesco half-price wine with them when invited to dinner?

151 replies

oliviacrumble · 05/03/2010 22:38

Recently had a dinner-party (went to lots of effort, lovely food, lots of wine, blah blah). Two couples came bearing a bottle each of that weeks Tesco half-price offer (plus in one case a bar of chocolate), then proceeded to drink the house dry, in one couples case til 3am. Please don't get me wrong, am def not the penny-pinching hostess, and most certainly will always keep the drink flowing, just thought it a little mean.Maybe the fact that there was a slight element of "duty" involved, ie returning hospitality to guests has coloured my view. If dh and i are invited anywhere, would always bring two bottles. Is one (cheap) bottle per couple the new black?

OP posts:
RedRedWine1980 · 05/03/2010 22:40

I wouldnt expect anyone to bring anything personally- if I invite someone to dinner I am happy to provide it all- food drink the lot.
I think you are being a bit unreasonable.

MaisietheMorningsideCat · 05/03/2010 22:40

1 bottle here - if I'm inviting friends for dinner I buy in the drink. If they happen to bring something, great, and if they don't, it's no biggie. I never look at the label, and wouldn't even think about how much they might have spent - I'd say thanks, and pour it out.

YABU

Busybean · 05/03/2010 22:41

perhaps money was tight, better to bring a cheapish wine than nothing at all surely. although bit rude on their part if they drank the house dry. YAbothBAlittleU lol

LEMisdiscombobulated · 05/03/2010 22:42

If i were to bother with dinner parties, i certainly wouldn't get all huffy if couples didn't turn up with two bottles of chateau nuef du pape! Isn't being the host about taking care of your guests, the bottle of wine - isnt that a TOKEN? A bar of chocolate is much better than a poncy box of chocolates - more value for money. Perhaps your guests were worried you didn't have a sophisticated palette and thought it better to opt for the cheaper, more easy drinking option?

Hassled · 05/03/2010 22:42

If I know them to be drinkers I'd expect 2 bottles per couple. We've had the same scenario - one iffy bottle between a couple who then drank the house dry.

rasputin · 05/03/2010 22:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crapweasel · 05/03/2010 22:46

Price of the wine is inconsequential IMO. It wasn't cheap plonk, just on offer.

In the days when DH and I actually went out, we were both drinkers so would probably have taken a bottle a head - probably not every time though.

On balance, I do think YABU. Though would be interested to hear more re it being a "duty"....

2rebecca · 05/03/2010 22:48

YABU, it was a dinner party not a BYO student party. I don't care if my guests come empty handed.

OTTMummA · 05/03/2010 22:48

i love entertaining, and never expect guests to bring anything to a sit down dinner party, often they have, but the wine doesn't suit the meal ive prepared, so we end up having it at the end with a few choccies!

i also only invite dear close friends/relatives so i wouldn't be miffed at a cheap bottle, i would be greatful that they had thought about it tbh.
why does the half price bit matter?

i always bring wine, but thats because i only like a certain one, and i often bring a dessert or chocolates to say thankyou, that way i get out of writing another thankyou note!

Vallhala · 05/03/2010 22:49

I've always been under the impression that if I invite someone to dinner I provide the food and drink. If someone brings a bottle of wine/chocolate/flowers, it's a much-appreciated gift and token of thanks, not a contribution to the evening's meal.

Sorry, but another YABU here.

TrillianAstra · 05/03/2010 22:50

Price of wine not an issue, but all the people I have ever had round to dinner have brought a bottle per person.

They/we still end up drinking faaaar more than that, so it's not as if they are doing BYO.

satc2bringiton · 05/03/2010 22:50

YABU

2rebecca · 05/03/2010 22:50

We always bring 1 bottle between us, or sometimes a box of chocolates instead but then one of us is usually driving so it's rare we'd drink more than that, plus I see the bottle of wine as a present for the host/hostess and not our alcohol contribution to the dinner which I expect the host to have chosen.

SoMuchToBits · 05/03/2010 22:50

If we were invited to someone else's for dinner we would normally take one bottle (plus abox of chocolates) so long as the place we were going to was a drive away. Because then dh (who drives) would only consume 1 glass of wine max, so I think 1 bottle betwen us would be entirely reasonable. I would never expect a couple visiting us to bring more than 1 bottle - if they did I would be delighted, but wouldn't expect it.

usualsuspect · 05/03/2010 22:51

YABU ...and a snob

Frizbe · 05/03/2010 22:52

I don't expect anyone to bring anything when I/we invite people over, its a bonus if they do, but it is just supposed to be a 'token' gesture isn't it? unless of course you are specifically going round to get hammered in which case, a further bottle may be required in the mix.

KurriKurri · 05/03/2010 22:52

I would think it a bit odd if they bought two bottles,I've only ever taken one.

Mind you I don't go to any many dinner parties, possibly because I don't bring enough wine.

hf128219 · 05/03/2010 22:52

A couple should only bring one bottle of wine to dinner. Any more is wrong.

Flowers, chocolates etc too are great.

oliviacrumble · 05/03/2010 22:56

You are probably right, i am being poncy. Did have qualms about the "dinnerparty" word. Dunno, maybe am now far far away from the Linden Village cider drinking student I once was, or maybe is the fact that I know these people are stinking rich (and now know how they got that way, ha ha), or maybe you should never invite people to your home out of duty? However, if anyone would like to hop off the high moral ground, am sure there are those of you out there who know what i mean. And the drink i kept flowing was from lidl btw. The tesco stuff is for special occasions.

OP posts:
hf128219 · 05/03/2010 22:58

Was it a good evening though? That's what counts.

ImSoNotTelling · 05/03/2010 22:58

YABU. One bottle of wine is normal.

As hf says plus flowers chocs etc is nice.

Turning up with a bottle of wine each is like a 6th form party. It's rather a statement of intent.

oliviacrumble · 05/03/2010 22:59

Btw I live in Ireland. We do things differently here.

OP posts:
Boys2mam · 05/03/2010 23:01

Oh my...

..we're guests of DP's DB and wife tomorrow night and when asked if anything required BIL advised "nothing necessary" though I went direct to his wife who advised "wine if we like". I had intended the proclaimed bottle of wine and obligatory flowers and am sure of a night of mucho wine and hospitality (which will be absolutely reciprocrated).

I do hope I'm not belabored once I've rolled home on their wine left.

Guadalupe · 05/03/2010 23:04

A bottle is a token surely, unless its agreed that you are all contributing for the evening.

oliviacrumble · 05/03/2010 23:05

Have single-handedly reinforced every negative stereotype about the Irish. Sorry. Let me rephrase my original rant (typing randomly through drunken haze). Was recently horrified when couple arrived at my house with two bottles of wine. Will never invite invite them again. Peace and love and thanks for opinions!

OP posts: