"a full time mum"

[DuelingFanjo]

said whatsername on Relocationthingy.

Surely you're still a full time mum if you work. You're stull a mum anyway. no?

I'm not even sure if I agree with "full time mom" (currently I just answer "I look after my son"), but I have thought about it before. Although it feels odd to say, I guess when I was a Finance Manager, I used to say I'm an Accountant (no-one really cares that much about the details imo), even though I didn't do that in the evenings or over weekends. When asking, people mostly mean what do you do during traditional "office hours".

The truth is that we idle/homey/Matthew Wright fans need a name that SAHMs like and doesn't poke off WOHM when it is inverted.

The problems is arisingfrom its attempts to be definative.
When you think about it trying to encompass a parent who is in the home all day and has as their primary function attending to the needs of the children and the household, into one word isn't going to work.

So lets not use words - lets create a word that , when you look at the defintion it means a parent who....

What about flangers. Or arsenarkers? or something

Then you can say "oh actually I am an arsenarkers."

we could say it with pride and know that there will be no retorts from WOHM saying
"are you trying to imply that I am not devoted to my arse or that just because I don't nark all the time that I am less of a parentthan you...."

(Actually. Thinking about it, they still might.)

How about WOHMs could make up their own one too?

And me and Riven and Peachy could drop carers and use something cool like nutfuckers

pagwatch.

pagwatch -

arsenarkers my arse

I have to send ds3 to sort the laundry, wipe his own bottom and clear his own snot from the sofa so I can come on MN and you go and wrap us all up in a bubble entitled daytime tv and idleness?

Why do we have to choose a term that makes other people feel happier about what they label themselves? Why do I have to be described as something which "goes" with another person's label?

On second thoughts, maybe arsenarker would fit...

I usually say I am a full time mum when asked. Not to implie that working mum any less full time parents. It just sounds like I am actually doing something more than just sitting at home which is what IMHO "housewife" implies.

Pagwatch I like your idea but not the choice of name, I need something that makes me feel good, not worse in the eyes of the rest of the society

We have a new one used around this area lately, & I like it much better than full time Mum etc, like you say, there is no such thing as a PT one .........PROFFESIONAL MUM ......

I had to give up work due to becoming ill when my DD was a baby, prior to that I was very very career orientated & quite successful, though I found that very hard with a new baby, & it was made harder by my employers........but as much as I now consider myself very lucky to be able to stay at home & be there for her 24/7, I do miss my previous proffesional status...lol....... so having heard the term last week for the first time...its definitely one I am adopting from now on...

I think I'd just say, "Right now I stay home with my children." Or something. at Pag

I disagree gorionine I think "housewife" implies doing housework and stuff, I certainly don't do much of that (but I am about to put the dishwasher on before having a lie down, so that counts?).

There is "Yummy Mummy" which I suppose fits me closest except that implies a certain level of "pleasantness" that I just don't have (but I do all the other stereotypical yummy things, cafes, gym etc).

It is hard when there is no appropriate label, hard I tell you to live outside the box.

6 pages! Really? No-one is saying that mums who go to work cease to be mums while they are there and EVERYBODY knows that. It's a term. I don't take offence if someone calls themself a working mum. I don't think it implies that I'm bone idle.

Perhaps the only real answer is for people to stop asking the ever so boring question "so, what do you do"? But honestly, no-one outside of Mumsnet cares about this stuff.

I disagree with gorionine aswell. I do plenty during the day as a 'housewife' thank you very much! I don't have a cleaner, I do everything myself so I'm certainly not a regular Jeremy Kyle or This Morning viewer, don't have a great deal of time for all that in the mornings. Too busy keep the place in order! I do have the luxury of resting when I want, but I make sure a certain amount of tasks get done before enjoying that luxury.

Being a housewife doesn't mean you are sitting around all day at home, or twiddling your thumbs, or sit around reading a newspaper at a leisurely pace in a restaurant or cafe (well for some that may be the case but not for me!).

rockinhippy, so that does make me (WOHM) an amateur mum? Mind you, I feel like one a lot of the time as it is...

I don't mind the phrase "full time mum". It's all just about making small talk, anyway, isn't it? You're looking for some kind of conversation opener when you're meeting someone new. You're not defining your entire self-worth.

NicknameTaken - please tell me you're joking when you ask rockinhippy that?

Riven - why bother with the "out of the house" bit in Work out of the house mum?
What's wrong with working mum?

Of course I was joking. Don't you raise that eyebrow in my direction!

What I want to know is, who is being mum to my DC when I'm at work? If the answer is no-one then I must be a full-time mum. I am always their mother. I just happen to have a paid job too.

As soon as rockinhippy typed it, I did wonder if anyone would seriously take her up on it!

It's sad if so many women are trying to find ways of describing what they do to make it sound better than they think it is. I am not ashamed to do what I do and I don't get bothered by what others want to call themselves.
I only dislike the term SAHM because it was made up by people to appease the people who have a problem with the term "full time mum" which to me is a perfectly acceptable way to describe someone who spends full time hours in a mother role.

And do I stop being a daughter when I'm not with my parents? Or a wife when I'm not with DH?

Orm - when you're at work, presumably your children are looked after by somebody else?
So you are not doing the physical caring for them during the hours you are at your place of work. Yes, you are their mum whatever, but you are not doing the physical side of mothering if you are in a different location from your children. Someone else is doing that for you. Whereas mothers who are at home with their children are doing the physical caring for their children all the time.

Or is this thread going to start off all over again....

'Arsenarkers' Pagwatch you have made the post of the thread. I'm glad I hadn't just taken a sip of my coffee as my laprop would now be wearing it

I'm going to call myself an arsenarker from now on.

Do we really have to define ourselves and our roles so as not to offend other people?

Well they are at school. So I suppose their teacher is being mum .

Honestly why are some people so bloody obtuse about this. It's just another way for some parents that have paid employment to be needlessly offended about parents who choose to stay home and look after their children.

No parent when asked if they're a parent says yes I'm full/part time. ONLY when a parent is asked 'what do you do?' might they respond that they are a full time parent.

Jeez.....

Well then I would be a full-time mum but a part-time carer maybe? It isn't neccessary to be present and do the looking after to be a mum.

Ok....what am I then?

Son with ex 2 days a week, nursery 3 days a week while I go to college and do voluntary work. Have him 2 days a week to myself.

Am I am full time mum? Part time mum? Or I simply his Mum that he loves regardless...