I lOVE my mother in law

[duchesse]

My mother in law is fab. She's not easy to live with (I know that because we lived with her for 10 years) but she is just lovely and here's why:

1. She adores the children and has a lovely relationship with them
2. She has her own very active life but never fails to fit us in somewhere
3. She is a fount of common sense and wisdom on many topics and is extremely competent in many many areas
4. She interferes just the right amount now that we are no longer living together

Yes, she is not easy to live with (she specialised in mixed messages and undermining us subtly as parents when we were living together, and I would cheerfully have throttled her at times). Yes, she finds it difficult to see anyone doing anything without wanting to join in/ take over (traits I now see appearing in my 14 yo, so not so much MIL traits as competent woman traits). Yes, she is ruthlessly efficient to the point of neglecting detail at times.

But, see points 1-4 above. They outweigh anything else. She has lived through the death of a 21 yo son and her husband. My husband is her only child, our 4 children her only grandchildren. She feels blessed to have them, and we feel enriched by her presence in our lives.

Fantastic thread!

I have just come away from another IL thread growling at the precious, selfish DILs out there who don't give an inch and make everyones life miserable.

I love my MIL pure and simply because she rasied my DH to be the wonderful caring family man he is. Of course FIL had something to do with that too

She lived with us for a while and I booted her into her new home 2 weeks before DS1 was due. Looking back that was a typical precious PFB DIL act - she has never mentioned it or given any hint of harbouring bad feeling, not even when I apologised for it. She adores my dss every bit as much as her daughters children, is there whenever and wherever we need her to be and knows how to bow out gracefully.

I plan to try and be like her when the time comes (perhaps without commenting on dss need to shave or put on cleaner clothes though )

I lost my MIL last December and lost my own mom the December before, which has left a great gaping hole in our families. My MIL was wonderful, kind, always taking an interest in the boys and always had plenty of sweets in her bag for them! I will miss both of them dearly on Mothers day this year. RIP Moms.

What a lovely thread!

I have 2 MIL's as I have re-married. DH's mother is awful but not in an interfering way, it's just that she completely ruined his life and still expects to be respected (such a long story!).

However, I am still very good friends with my xMIL - when I was with her son, we would chat for hours on end. She never interferes but is honest of her opinion if asked. When I split with her son, she pretty much sided with me and it was natural for us to remain friends. We still get together and sometimes chat on the phone and I update about stuff with the kids.

We have a strange family (to outsiders anyway!) in that I'm still very close with my xSIL and also his xfiance and also his current fiance. I don't have much to do with him (thank goodness!), we just get the kids together every now and then. I see it that they are still the kids family. DH gets along with them all well too as we all knew each other from years ago. As I type this I know a few people will think it's strange but we're all happy, and the kids are happy which is the main thing.

I've gone off on a tangent there, sorry!

YANBU to love your MIL, MIL's can be fantastic!!!

My MIL is an angel. Interested and caring but never interfering, warm and fun, a pleasure to spend time with.

She raised DH and his brother all on her own and they turned out to be lovely men. When I moved in with DH he was completely housetrained, thanks to her. He cooks, washes up, gardens, replaces the loo roll.. and more importantly is a considerate and unselfish partner.

MIL has a busy happy life, and we know we are always welcome to go down and see her but never feel obligated or pressured. She makes SIL and I feel like part of the family.

I want to be just like her when I grow up!

YANBU - I love my MIL too!!! She is a lovely, kind, charming woman. I envy her ability to go into any situation and just chat with people. She is so at ease. DH has the same ability and I see the DDs are equally easy to make friends in new places. I love that they have got that from her. I also hope they have got her amazing skin, fantastic norks and ankles.

No I don't share her political views nor her "Broken Britain" stance but since when has being in total agreement all the time been a prerequisite for a good relationship.

I love her, I love the fact she is in our lives and it would be all the poorer without her. (And FIL too!!!)

Really great thread!!

I am very of you all with your lovely MILs. I have never met mine which is very as she passed away when my DH was young.

Have been told by FIL and DH family and friends that my dd looks like her as a little girl.

I wish I was a mother in law...my two sons are in stable relationships but are not in any hurry to marry! I long to be a grandmother - both girls are 30 this year so I guess it could be within the next decade.

I love my mil too, she's a bit DMail, but respects that i hardly ever agree with her on anything political. She's kind, practical,very generous, lovely to the dds and has got her head round dh being a sahd (not easy for her!) and has a very positive take on everything. Once just after dd2 was born i was apologising for the state of the house and she said, "don't worry dear, if it's too clean it isn't good for their immune system." And fil is lovely too, keeps buying us domestic appliances for birthdays, Christmas, anniversary etc (microwave, washing machine, tumble dryer, dishwasher and freezer at last count!)

Nice positive thread. I had a pretty rocky relationship with my mother in law until last year when my dear mum died.

Until then, i think she might have felt her ideas and opinions were rejected too often by her new, headstrong daughter in law. Plus, I made her son go all Londoney...

Since I lost mum, my Mother in Law has been so wonderful about travelling down to us and helping out with everything from taking kids to school to babysitting. I feel loved and supported by her in ways I didnt before. I suppose I might have come across as a bit too self sufficient before, but perhaps sometimes, allowing people to see that you can be vulnerable opens the door to a better understanding of each other.

Glad to read other posters love theirs too. Having lost mum, i know all too well, when someone dies, you end up missing the things you might gripe about now. xx

My MIL is fab, at the age of 63 and having beaten breast cancer, she is soldiering on and still works 3 days a week. She loves having the children to stay and to top it all is a fantastic cook!

fab thread. My MiL is great too, and when I am in danger of forgetting that (because obviously SOMETIMES she can wind me up), I try to recall the crap that some of my friends who aren't so lucky go through with their ghastly inlaws.

She's clever, funny, and very generous with her time. In fact she is looking after dd while I am at work right now, as she does every Thursday, and they have a brilliant time together.

thanks for reminding me how great that is!

So nice to see a great MIL thread! Mine is fantastic, and soooooo much easier to get along with than my own (dearly beloved) mum. Maybe its because we are both Aries , but we have a lot in common!

I was blessed with both MIL and FIL. We've just lost FIL to cancer and I'm devastated. In some ways he was more of a dad than my own....

My parents in law are the loveliest people I know and have done more for me than my parents ever have. I loves em. MIL is making my wedding dress from scratch.

my mil is fab. she is 80 and dh is her 2nd youngest. caring. non interfering. we lives 1.5 hrs away and visit often.
makes me sad and grateful how many other people hate their mil's.

i always said that when i count my blessings, i counted my mil twice.

she always thought i was fab and lovely and i could do no wrong in her eyes.

she died last year at a good age but still miss her and when i hear about others problems i thank my lucky stars

my MIL IS in heaven, and i miss her every day.

i want to call her and tell what the kids are up to, and talk about hubbys health with her, and now mothers day is coming up.

its all so sad.

Mine too bridewolf . I miss her terribly and she was one of the nicest, most wonderful people I've ever met.

I wish I had one, dh lost his when he was 13, my girls keep on asking over granny & it's all very sad, I wish i had one to discuss

Yep love mine too! She is lovely and we always chat for ages. Don't know how she would be to live with, I would probably annoy her a lot more than she would annoy me though.
She is very impartial and tries to give a balanced, unflustered view on things.
She is unfailingly supportive and downright complimentary most of the time
She is generous and helpful, always checks to see if I need help in the kitchen or something from the shops.
One of the most annoying things about her, is that she neglects her health and always claims to be 'fine' regardless of how ill she is. She doesn't eat much and when she does it is high salt/fat, which isn't ideal for a woman with angina. Does worry me.

My MIL died just before I met dh, nobody who knew her has a bad word to say about her, on our wedding day dh's cousins came up to me to say how they loved their Auntie and have memories of how she looked after them when they were ill, made them laugh and was lots of fun.

Can I hijack this for a second and ask your opinion? Am not married and do not have children but I find that I am concerned about the way my SIL and my brother treates my mum and dad when they are with them ( I am usually present) these are some of the examples:
1.My nephews 6th birthday party was the first party my mum and dad had been invited to his other grandparents had been to every single one since he was 1.

1. My mum and dad when they visit hear from my neice and nephew about how they did this that with the other grandparents and yet my bro and SIL will not allow Mum and Dad to take them off for a day.
2. On my nephews 2nd Christmas my bro asked mum for the recite so that they could take half the toys and clothes back to the shop as they had given too much to their 1st grandchild who they adore. (My bro and SIL had never mentioned the year before or on his birthday that they thought MandD where giving him too many presets).

Things like that all the time that get my mum upset... is she the unreasonable one or are they?

To my knowladge my Mum and Dad have never oversteped the mark and if my SIL or Brother say anything that they are unhappy about etc then my M/D take on board what is said.