I lOVE my mother in law

[duchesse]

My mother in law is fab. She's not easy to live with (I know that because we lived with her for 10 years) but she is just lovely and here's why:

1. She adores the children and has a lovely relationship with them
2. She has her own very active life but never fails to fit us in somewhere
3. She is a fount of common sense and wisdom on many topics and is extremely competent in many many areas
4. She interferes just the right amount now that we are no longer living together

Yes, she is not easy to live with (she specialised in mixed messages and undermining us subtly as parents when we were living together, and I would cheerfully have throttled her at times). Yes, she finds it difficult to see anyone doing anything without wanting to join in/ take over (traits I now see appearing in my 14 yo, so not so much MIL traits as competent woman traits). Yes, she is ruthlessly efficient to the point of neglecting detail at times.

But, see points 1-4 above. They outweigh anything else. She has lived through the death of a 21 yo son and her husband. My husband is her only child, our 4 children her only grandchildren. She feels blessed to have them, and we feel enriched by her presence in our lives.

YANBU.

I can't stand my MiL but I intend to be an eminently lovable one myself one day

LOL at LTEC being perfect MIL already. Way to go Cakeface!!!

i love my MIL too. She never meddles, never criticises, has always been lovely to me and best thing loves my son and comes to watch him one day a week requiring 4+ hours travel.

I want to love my MIL
I try so hard, but she refuses to co-operate...

What a lovely thread - thank you. I love my MIL too (and my FIL). She can sometimes drive me crackers, but mostly that's because she worries so much about making things perfect for everybody that her worry ends up stressing me out, IYSWIM. It's the nicest possible way to be annoyed, by someone being so keen to do the right thing for everybody. She is great, and one of the kindest people I know.

I love my MIL. Absolutely love her. Which is nice for me, as my Mum died when I was pg with dd. My Mum asked my MIL to look after me, and she does :-)

I don't love my mil, I doubt we'd be friends if we'd met through work for example.

BUT I have two sons, if I feel like she's trying to drive me daft or undermine me I remind myself that she feels the same way about dp as I feel about my own sons.

So I let sooo much go over my head, because I am hoping that karma will come round and give me dils that treat me with the same respect.

I get upset sometimes reading the 'mil hate' threads on here, because some women just seem to take a peverse pleasure in moaning about their mil and expecting a mil to just forget they have a son and grandchildren.

I would never want dp to feel like he has to take any kind of 'sides' and I never complain about her to him. Because she's his mother, my childrens other grandmother, on equal terms with my own mum.

DPs mother drives me absolutely round the twist at the times (again, clash of competent women, and the fact we both very much love DP!), but I am really very fond of her. DP and I might joke about detecting her approach by the wind changing ( ) but in reality she is so lovely. A little bonkers, a little neurotic, but then so am I. All in all she's brilliant, and I count myself as very lucky to have her (as well as her husband, and her ex, DPs dad) as my "PILs", and as my sons grandparents.

yanbu. you are one of the lucky one.

I am also very lucky to have wonderful PIL. My MIL and I sometimes have a clash of opinion but we live and let live - I have the same kind of relationship with my Mum as well. I want to kill both Mums at times, but also know that the feeling is often mutual

MIL already has a DD, so I'll never be that close to her as I think she would think it disloyal and I certainly wouldn't want to intrude on their relationship, but we'll happily head out for a few hours with each other, text and phone each other and see each other on days when DH isn't around.

My PIL did a stand-up job with my DH so why wouldn't they be lovely people

lovely OP duchesse

I love my MIL too...she has been a tower of support for us when our DCs were little, loves seeing them, and has been very hands on with them. She also offers to babysit when she is able to...her view has always been "when my kids were young, I didn't get me-time, so I want to make sure you do". I find it hard to ask for help so this has been a godsend.

She has her quirks too but who doesn't? I don't see my mum very much as live overseas so my MIL has become a kind of surrogate mum to me.

Mine is fab too, really such a wonderful kind gentle woman.

When my grandma was ill with cancer she (and fil) would go to visit her all the time, and had endless time for her.

Now I am pregnant she always sends her love to "Ozziegirly and my grandchild" in her emails.

Fil is great too, they are both just lovely, kind, nice people who can't do enough for others.

My DH told them recently that he has been in AA for a year or so, and fil took me aside and said "thank you so much for everything you have done for our son".

I feel lucky to be blessed with them. My Bil and Sil are fab too - and Dh's cousins/aunts and uncles as well - I have managed to marry into a family of thoroughly nice people!

YANBU
I love my MIL too. ♥ She has been my role model for years.

Would just like to say what a lovley thread.
It's good to hear the positive side for once

Unfortunatley my MIL and I dont talk/see one another and so unfortunatly, unless my DH can be bothered to take our DC round to see her, they dont get see her either.

I love my mother in law too!!! I even work with her! She is fab with my dc and good with me.!

She is brill xxx

wish everyone had brill mil too

Its nice to see so many people have lovely mil's unfortunately mine only has eyes for her dd and her child[she also lives 2 streets away from us] however fil and his wife are absolutely lovely they live 400 miles away and adore the kids dd2 who is 14 has a real close relationship with her step grandma.We also ring each other regularly and DH thinks more of her than his own mother. She has only been married to fil for 8 years but was also his second wife and knew DH as a child [he's been married 4 times]

My MIL is absolutely amazing - she never interferes, she is always interested, she cooks your favourite dinners if you visit, her door is always open, she treats me like one of the family and I have absolute respect for her and the life she and my FIL made for their children when they were growing up (and now).

I just feel sorry for my DH - his MIL isn't quite so easy to get along with!!

My DP's mum is so lovely. A real gem. She'll never get the chance to be my mother in law because she's terminally ill. It fucking sucks ass big time. She's an amazing gran to my two DSSs and it breaks my heart that she'll never get to meet any children I may have.

my MIL is fab, sometimes I think I get on with her more than my mum! but if anything, she's too hands off... it freaks me out a bit as my parents go crazy if they don't see DD every coupla weeks and travel regularly. ILs live same distance away as them (few hours) but MIL is actually in the city every week as she works part time here - she stays with a friend. yet we prob see them 3-4 times a year? she never pops round or suggests a time to meet up with DD when she's here (DD is one). i know she works really hard and it's difficult in the big smoke to 'pop' anywhere, but it seems a real shame she doesn't see her only grandchild very often when she's in town every week... they have a dog at home and that always seems to be the issue about taking extra days out when she's down. i always say she is welcome to come any time, so do i have to assume she's not that bothered??

My ML drives me bonkers - she has the same impact on my husband. Luckily we live 3 hours from them - so- can limit the time we spend with them. Got another baby due in a few weeks and am dreading the ML coming to see it - she'll have something wise to say - which whether or not it is helpful - it will just irritate me!!

My MIL is great, she is my MIL and my mum all rolled into 1.
I lost my mum when I was 14 and MIL welcomed me into their family with open arms.

She can be infuriating at times but it is just her way, I feel incredibly lucky to have her and she is FAB with the DSs.

AND she and FIL dress up in Western gear, go line dancing and gun fighting and raise loads for charity - they look great and love doing it! I hope I have the same zest for life at her age!

Lovely thread

My MIL is kind and gentle and thoughtful and I think the world of her. When I was in hospital for 9 weeks when pg with dd2 she drove 150 miles on a Monday to look after dh and dd1 and 150 miles back on a friday to be with her husband who has ME and finds travelling very difficult. Every week for 8 weeks. She brought dd1 into the hospital every day, she bought me real food and things to keep me occupied, did my washing on top of doing everything back at my house and at hers. She is a total gem. I'm so lucky to have her!

My parents were great too and took over Fri-Mon, but I just felt so touched by MIL's care and concern for me when she might have just left it all up to them as they just live round the corner. I only have daughters but I hope that their MILs turn out to be just as wonderful!

My MIL is bloody brilliant.

Only downsides are that she smokes a lot and says cunt.

Well done for posting a positive MIL thread - reminding me that whingeing about supposed criticism and differences in opinion about how to raise my son is really not that important. At the end of the day, she loves us all and would do anything for us - much more important than anything else. Needed that - thanks.

Oh I do hope I'm a good one! You are all so lucky with lovely MIl's.