I lOVE my mother in law

[duchesse]

My mother in law is fab. She's not easy to live with (I know that because we lived with her for 10 years) but she is just lovely and here's why:

1. She adores the children and has a lovely relationship with them
2. She has her own very active life but never fails to fit us in somewhere
3. She is a fount of common sense and wisdom on many topics and is extremely competent in many many areas
4. She interferes just the right amount now that we are no longer living together

Yes, she is not easy to live with (she specialised in mixed messages and undermining us subtly as parents when we were living together, and I would cheerfully have throttled her at times). Yes, she finds it difficult to see anyone doing anything without wanting to join in/ take over (traits I now see appearing in my 14 yo, so not so much MIL traits as competent woman traits). Yes, she is ruthlessly efficient to the point of neglecting detail at times.

But, see points 1-4 above. They outweigh anything else. She has lived through the death of a 21 yo son and her husband. My husband is her only child, our 4 children her only grandchildren. She feels blessed to have them, and we feel enriched by her presence in our lives.

Another vote for a lovely mil here. I remember when I was in hospital having DS1 and I told people that both mil and dm were staying with us - and people were shocked. I find it sad that bad relationships seem to be the norm and am happy that this thread may prove me wrong.

What a lovely post . I love my MIL too. She is mad as a hatter, lives thousands of miles away but is the only grandparent our children have, the only parent we have, and she treats me like a daughter.

Yes, mine is great too, and amazingly young (she had dh when she was 18, whereas my mum had me when she was 31) and therefore comparatively energetic. The dc love going to stay with her for up to four or five days at a time.

She never interferes in our lives and is extremely generous with the little she has. She's slightly depressed, which I find hard to accommodate, but full of love for dh and her grandchildren.

Mines great too, ok she is not perfect and does have her moments but my mum is so much worse. My MIL loves and adores ALL her grandchildren and treats them all the same. She does see SIL children more and they have more of a relationsihip with them but the IL's have been living with them on/off for 3 years. My MIL too does not think that the sun shines out of dh bottom and does side with me to if dh is being a bit of a pain. She is understanding and does offer great advice though sometimes i choose not to take it and do what I feel is best. She is a kind and generous lady who does treat me like a daughter most of the time, not when she is passing criticsm though, she says she does that to SIL but as she is not my actual mum i find it difficult to take.

I do put up with a lot of rubbish from my mum, she is lonely as ddad died 21 years ago, and its oh woe everything, and everyone is out to get her, but she is my mum so i am a bit more open and take it on the chin.

My PILs are fab too

Yay for great MILs and FILs

My lovely wonderful MIL died 10 years ago just after my last child was born and so we called our daughter Marie after her. She had 3 daughters and 2 sons and treated me as another daughter.

When I was a new young mum and knackered I could drive to her house, go to bed for a few hours, while she walked or amused my little ones, and then she would wake me up with a bacon sandwich and a casserole to take home for our tea..

what a special lovely woman she was and I miss her every day.. so wish she could see all the grand children now.. she would be so proud.

Gosh you are all so luck! My MIL is a remarkable strong women, and has always been pleasant to me, but she is not nice to my DC and I find this really upsetting and it has definitely altered how I feel about her. My DS is very affectionate, but she wont let him near her, and she called him a gingernut, her own grandson!

My MIL is a retired children's librarian who is now wardrobe mistress at a theatre. She is the cleverest person I have ever met, and is really helpful with the children and lovely to me.

She lost her son recently to cancer, and it honestly breaks my heart when she talks about him, but she is doing really well. I honestly feel like part of their family.

FIL is pretty ace too

My MIL is a mad as a box of frogs. She believes in Angels and has been apprehended trying to release spirits from our dog (whom she believed was tormented with them). She brings notebooks in which she has written the names of our DDs guardian angels which she presents to them as fact - she also teaches them how to call the angels through meditation, even though she knows I'm an incurable sceptic who actively discourages this way of thinking. She is far too soft on DH when she needs to cut the crap and tell it like it is once in a while (for all our sakes). She's untidy around the house, does a terrible sloppy job on the dishes when she does occasionally help with them, usually breaking at least one thing each time.
But she will drop everything and fly over from Ireland to stay with the DDs if DH and I have an important place to go and nobody to babysit overnight. She does the same for all her four sons and their families. She cries if someone buys her a present and can remember the minutiae of her DCs childhoods, right down to how they were dressed at a particular event, despite the fact that she married an awful selfish bastard who gave her 4 children in 5 years (DH and his elder brother are 9.5 months apart) and spent his time impregnating other women and drinking his wages while she worked two jobs and raised four sons. Her own mother died when she was three years old and she has had the saddest, most unfulfilling life I could imagine. Yet she is the gentlest and most loving, sentimental old nutcase I could wish for as a MIL and we all love her.

YANBU.

It's great to hear that so many people have wonderful MIL's. Mine is great too and has been a huge source of help since I became pregnant. DH is doing an MBA, so isn't able to help out as much with DS atm, so he takes him over to PIL's on a Sun where they look after him most of the day so I can rest. This is on top of a wed when they have him whilst I work.

FIL is also fab and DS is absolutely devoted to him. They like to garden together (DS has his own wheelbarrow) and I've seen a really different side to my FIL since having DS (in a positive way).

Sorry, so long but I don't often get a chance to go on about them and when I do I get a bit carried away!

My MIL is lovely and I cannot fault her.

Dp unfortunately has a MIL from hell.

lucybarnes they are half siblings, not step-siblings, completely different thing, if they are the fathers children with the stepmother.

same here,my MIL died recently,she had been suffering from Dementia latterly and didnt know us,I miss the woman I used to know.yes, she drove me nuts at times,with her favourtism towards her daughter,but I equally drove her nuts I'm sure. Some of the DIL'S who have posted are hellish full stop,and not just as DIL's either.I aim to be like her.

I love my MIL too, she's been wonderful ever since I met her, a real second mum. In fact the only thing I ever complain to DH about is that sometimes his parents are too lovvely . They are incredibly welcoming and non-judgmental, and they are always interested but never interfering. They were consequently the first people we told about my pregnancy and they have been fab, excited for us, but very understanding that it is early days, and so so sweet asking for permission to come and visit when the little one is born.

I know I am lucky though, I have a slightly more complex relationship with my mum as she can be hard work at times, and I sometimes feel really angry at the way she treats my sister in law who I am always having to defend, so I know its not always easy for people.

yanbu as I love mine too

I love mine, too. I went through some very ' I hate her' times when I worked with her and they were renovating a house for us (never ever mix money/business with family!) - she could be undermining, mean and manipulative. We moved 1,500 miles away, though and only go to visit occasionally - now I love her! . No more business with her and step-fil and now everything is good. I could probably even handle being close to her now as I realize to just let what she says go like water off a ducks back, though it still annoys me at time. She could be much worse, though.

Message withdrawn

of those of you who love their MIL.

At best we have a strained relationship but then DH is not close to his parents.

Feel the the DC are missing out though - they've only seen them a handful of times

I love my MIL, FIL, step-MIL and step-FIL. Take heart all you mothers of sons, you can have a good relationship with your DIL

I love my PIL too, especially my MIL.

They come to babysit every week- would do more but are afraid of intruding/overstepping the mark (I'd ask more but am afraid of overtiring them/ being too pushy ) and when ds2 goes down for his nap she does ironing/washing-up etc. She was very eager to get into my freezer recently to defrost it too (I managed to dissuade her but only on the grounds that we're having the kitchen 'done' soon so it would be done then).

PIL is quiet and takes time to get to know but when you do he has the wickedest sense of humour.

I love mine too. She gets on my nerves at times but she is a great gran to my dds, she doesn't think the sun shines out of dh's arse and she tries as hard as I do to make it all work because family and harmony are as important to her as they are to me.

I love my MIL too. she is very supportive and cares so much about us all. I wish my mum was like her tbh!

I did not appreciate my MIL until DS was born. Before that we had an...interesting relationship. She and FIL are very reserved and VERY Catholic. They're also much older than my parents (FIL is older than my grandmother)and they were not sure what to make of this bubbly blonde person their DS brought home. (He's very serious and a bit older than me, and I don't think I was what they'd planned on at all.)

But after I had DS, my own mother was much more demanding and interfering, making MIL look great by comparison. (She's very helpful when I ask for advice, whereas my mom gives it freely when it's not wanted. Sigh...) DH's family also suffered some losses (my MIL's parents and a beloved uncle) since we've been together and I think when my MIL saw that I was a rock in a crisis (I really am, it's one of my only good traits ) she liked me quite a bit more.

So yes, rocky at first, but now I can say that I not only love my MIL but like her as well.

I too love my MIL, she has been known to overstep the mark on occasion but she is lovely and adores her dgd. She always sides with me if my dh and I disagree and has spent hours letting me vent! She lives 200 miles away so we only see her every couple of months but last time she left I felt myself welling up as I didn't want her to go.