I lOVE my mother in law

[duchesse]

My mother in law is fab. She's not easy to live with (I know that because we lived with her for 10 years) but she is just lovely and here's why:

1. She adores the children and has a lovely relationship with them
2. She has her own very active life but never fails to fit us in somewhere
3. She is a fount of common sense and wisdom on many topics and is extremely competent in many many areas
4. She interferes just the right amount now that we are no longer living together

Yes, she is not easy to live with (she specialised in mixed messages and undermining us subtly as parents when we were living together, and I would cheerfully have throttled her at times). Yes, she finds it difficult to see anyone doing anything without wanting to join in/ take over (traits I now see appearing in my 14 yo, so not so much MIL traits as competent woman traits). Yes, she is ruthlessly efficient to the point of neglecting detail at times.

But, see points 1-4 above. They outweigh anything else. She has lived through the death of a 21 yo son and her husband. My husband is her only child, our 4 children her only grandchildren. She feels blessed to have them, and we feel enriched by her presence in our lives.

My lovely mil is no longer with us, but the first time I met her she said 'welcome to the family!' and squished me in a huge hug! (She was 5ft 11, I am 5ft 2 so it was quite funny to see...)

She also licked a tissue once and rubbed off a bit of mascara from my cheek and took great pleasure in watching me squirm.

She was a funny lady, clever, strong willed and kind. I feel like I was just getting to know her and she passed away, she had had cancer for a long time. She did get to see me and dh married though so that is something, however she never got to see dd.

I'm friends with my MIL. We joined the WI together and go for 'girl's days out' occasionally.

I don't think I love my MIL but I do like her a lot; and sometimes she gets on my nerves too. But she is a lovely lady and would do anything for anyone (too much sometimes!) so I end up beating myself up for being irritated by her, because I know she is doing it with the best of intentions.

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What a lovely story Lucy

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I love mine too. She is actually DH's step-mother and he was 23 when his dad married her so there are no major possesion issues. DH's dad died the year before we got married so my sis sometimes says that MIL is 'surplus to requirements' in some ways but we generally get on well (living in different countries helps!) and she adores DS.

Her major faults are that she NEVER stops talking (which drives DH mad) and tends to see life through rose-tinted specs which can be irritating but as I keep telling DH "if they are her only faults then she is doing ok!". Oh - she tends to buy crap presents sometimes! Bought DH a comb for Xmas one year. He is bald!

DH was an only child and his mum died when he was 11 so MIL's family are DS's only relatives on that side that we are in contact with. And they all love him. And the more people we have in our lives to love us the better off we are.

She is ditzy and dippy and funny and loves to shop and go out for meals and trips and has infinite patience with DS.

Does anyone else's MIL clean their oven when they come to visit? It is this weird quirk she has, she always cleans the oven. Am pretty sure she isn't being passive aggressive (given that she will walk through the door and say "Holy Hell woman do you ever clean?").

Another friend's MIL cleans her oven as well. Is there some sort of fetish with MILs and clean ovens?

I love mine too. She can come to live with us if she likes. She's a brilliant granny and her cooking is nice too . She's 82 and she's just gone on hols to Morocco with her 75 yr-old cousin . She's cool.

If she was going to clean the oven she could even more definitely come to live with us

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I love my Mil (and pil) too.
They are fantastic, affectionate, smart grandparents. And generally incredibly nice, generous people.

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whoooops, I meant fil

lucybarnes - I agree but I have to say the talking is SO wearing! She continues to talk as you walk out of the room and go upstairs and go into the loo and do what you need to do and come back downstairs and she is stillllll talking! To you. And you have been out of the room for 5 minutes! Bless her!

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I love my MIL massively. In fact, I love her more than my I do my Mum and she's a million times more wise, helpful and kind too. In fact, I love both PIL. Hurray for lovely PIL!

yes, mine's lovely
winds me uip now & again, sure she could say the same, but never intends to, she's great

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Dont really know my MIL, I have only met her half a dozen times since we married 10 years ago, but we get on Ok when we do meet.

My DDIL now, I love to bits, she looks after my DS, kicks him up the butt when he needs it, loves him unconditionally, and had more patience with his teenage daughter, than him, me or her mother put together.

I even get on with DGD's Mum, although that hasnt always been the case.

I'm afraid I was dreadful to my MIL in the first two years of my marriage. Not abusive, mind you, but I am a domineering hag at the best of times, strong willed and opinionated, and we got off to a terrible start.

Then things went horribly wrong after DS1 was born and she became my rock. She was just always there, always supportive, always kind and always sensible. I honestly believe she saved my life.

We're still not really friends, we're far too different for that, but I respect her enormously and we have come to terms with each other.

My MIL is also FAB!!! As a mother of 2 sons I fully intend to take several leaves out of her book... She lives round the corner but never over-steps the mark about coming round too much and always babysits whenever we ask (if she can)- and when she's there she sorts out the kitchen if it needs to be tidied and gazes at her much adored grandsons . She did our washing and ironing for ages after DS2 was born and even cleaned up all the blood in the house after I'd had a post-birth haemorrage - That can't have been nice . She's kind, generous with her time and money, dotes on my sons, offers support at any available opportunity and usually takes my side over her own DS (my DH!). What more could I possibly ask for... I feel I am not as good a DIL as she is an MIL. She doesn't have a daughter and I think she would love me to be a bit more tactile and go on a few trips to town with her etc...

I'm not sure I Love mine, and I don't like her as you'd like a friend, but I am fond of her because she tries so hard to do the right thing and is incredibly generous.

Unfortunately that often manifests itself in the most maddening, interfering ways. Like the time we went on honeymoon and she decided to clean the house, which was quite nice (I'm quite a private person, so not ideal, but I understand the sentiment behind it).

Along the way she decided some wooden furniture needed reoiling, which she did. They turned out bright orange.

Then she decided the garden furniture needed reoiling. They turned out black. And in doing so she dropped oil all over the decking, so she painted that black too. And sloshed it all over my minimalist concrete planters. So she replaced them with something from M&S.

So we came home from honeymoon, house is beautifully clean, fresh flowers, ironed bedding... and WIERDLY BLACK AND ORANGE??

She means well.

My MIL is fab too (as is FIL)...when they visit or we go there everything is so easy. They love my two boys and happily whoosh them out to play enabling me to sit reading a book in front of their fire which is heaven!!