to wonder why some people want their tiny babies to grow up so quickly?

[GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy]

DPs friend and his partner have a 10 week old DD.

They (proudly) informed us that they have weaned their DD and that she sleeps in her own room at night .

I had to bite my tongue very hard when they told us this and even harder when I saw them spooning baby rice into a tiny screaming babys mouth. The poor thing just kept pushing the food out, they kept spooning it back in.

I just can't get my head around why they want their baby to grow up so quickly. DS is almost 6 months and it's already gone far too quickly for me. Why you'd want to speed up the process is beyond me.

So AIBU for feeling sad (and very slightly judgey) that they arn't making the most of their DDs babyhood?

lequeen - if you weren't interested in what other parents were doing then why did you look to them for advice when you were raising your own?

advice/ideas

lequeen - i actually agree that you get REALLY defensive over your parenting choices to the extend of just trying to insult people who do it differently.

Your language says otherwise LeQueen. There aren't new guidelines on weaning, there haven't been for a long time. It was 4 months for many years and 6 months for the best part of a decade.

You can debate your opinions all you like, I know I do. But unless you are hiding your microbiologist/immunologist/expert on infant feeding light under a bushel, neither you nor I has the qualification to dispute the wealth of evidence available.

You can choose not to use it, I can choose not to use it. We can debate all day long about whose baby needs what and why. I won't because I can't summon the energy to care what my own children eat today, let alone yours. Neither, by the way, am I saying this because I do things a particularly way and think anyone else shoule be influence by my deed or opinion, I don't. I am in no way consider myself to be better than anyone else or that my way is for anyone else, I have never offered advice on such matters.

All I am saying is there are (a few) facts, some scientific evidence, and a wealth of expert opinion available. If anyone were to ask me outright, I would state that the vast majority of evidence points to it being rather a bad plan to give baby rice to a 10 week old. Thats not the same as judging or being superior, its about rationality, which for many seems to go out of the window when it comes to babies and childrearing. Its no different to any other aspect of life, not all opinions are equal, because some are backed up by evidence and experience and some are not. Its not a personal attack or a judgefest to point out that a persons opinion may not be supported by anything.

LeQueen "I gleaned some advice from people who appeared to be making a good job of it."

Slightly OT, but you ever noticed how it is always the parents of the completely feral/horrible kids who offer unsolicited advice? It is like misery loves company.

I don't offer unless asked and have only ever asked advice from parents whose children seem to be doing well.

But what does common sense mean? Some peoples idea of common sense is to put babies to sleep on their fronts, it was for the majority just a few years ago. Their choice entirely, but the fact that there was something like an 80% reduction in SIDS after the Back to Sleep campaign meant that the prevailing "common sense" was dead wrong.
It used to be common sense that guiness was good for you and smoking helped a cough. Common sense changes and is informed by reasearch and new discoveries, its not plucked out of thin air. Its not about blindly following directives either, its about a combination of official advice, experience and learning.

I'm not massively interested in the genre either, but I think it rather foolhardy and slightly naive to dismiss sensible and well documented information in favour of the cliches mummy always knows best.

Still up to yourself though.

Just to clarify I am not passing judgement on those who early weaning / sleeping in seperate rooms has worked for but in this case it does not seem to be working for them. They have freely admitted that mealtimes and nights have become a nightmare. Their DD screams at every mealtime whilst they force food into her mouth.

I am not and have never claimed to be a perfect parent. If my DS had needed to be weaned early and enjoyed it I would of had no hesitation in doing so. I however wouldn't of weaned early if it was clear my DS was unhappy being fed. I also would of tried upping his feeds or trying hungry baby milk before I chose to wean. This couple have totally ignored the HVs suggestion that they try the above and then wean if it didn't work.

Good posts runnybottom.

Trying to insult me again lequeen?

LOL I just love how you resort to insults when you get backed into corner by all the facts.

YUP We have a whole thread about it though - don't think we need to drag it over here too.

"Groundhog day" - It's like the David Cameron and Gordon Brown show. Ladies, I have consulted a number of friends who are experts and found many studies that suggest you two are not going to agree. Amen.

The feeling is mutual lequeen - I prefer to have dinner parties and discussions with educated people who can back up their opinions with more that 'it didn't do my child any harm'.

Maybe that should be the Catherine Tate show ;)

I'm rather bemused. I can't see where I have judged or been rude or spoken for anyone else.
I'm merely enquiring as to where your common sense comes from if its not from advice or guidelines or anywhere else.

You seem to be having fun being nasty for no reason though, so I'll happily withdraw here.

you haven't runnybottom - i just happened to agree with your post. lequeen and I didn't exactly see eye to eye on another thread and she is carrying that on over here.

mrsbean I'm with you - bf much easier than bottles (and I've had a hell of a time for 11 months - whole other thread), blw less faff than purees, co-sleeping (from first waking) because i can't really cope with the idea of half an hour of shushing in the cold x times a night. and because I love the closeness of bf, the fun and mess of blw and the snuggles and cute noises at night. I also read the research so I feel more comfortable doing it.

You choose another way, fair enough. But me? Just lazy....