to wonder why some people want their tiny babies to grow up so quickly?

[GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy]

DPs friend and his partner have a 10 week old DD.

They (proudly) informed us that they have weaned their DD and that she sleeps in her own room at night .

I had to bite my tongue very hard when they told us this and even harder when I saw them spooning baby rice into a tiny screaming babys mouth. The poor thing just kept pushing the food out, they kept spooning it back in.

I just can't get my head around why they want their baby to grow up so quickly. DS is almost 6 months and it's already gone far too quickly for me. Why you'd want to speed up the process is beyond me.

So AIBU for feeling sad (and very slightly judgey) that they arn't making the most of their DDs babyhood?

Firstly, I'm not sure how weaning and putting a child in their own room is evidence of wanting a child to grow up too fast?And that's speaking as someone who co-sleeps for a loooooong time.

Secondly, I always wanted my PFB to do things NOW either because I was determined to prove how truly gifted he was or terrified that he was behind in some way, or just overexcited at every dribble he did.

Thirdly- to all the horror at weaning at 10 weeks. When I had PFB the advice was 3 months-ie 12 weeks, and guess what a healthy, slim 17 year old he is!! it moved through to 4-6 months by the time I had DC2 and DC3 and had reached 6 months by the time I had DC4.

I'm convinced if I ever were to have a DC5 weaning would be back down to 6 weeks or something

Just because the advice used to be 12 weeks doesn't mean they are justfied - 10 weeks isn't anywhere near the recommended 6 months so how on earth could anyone even attempt to justify it. How have they not seen all the weaning information out there??? There are plenty of things we know now that we didn't several years ago - move with the times!

RE moving the baby into its own room - also very sad. Don't understand why people choose to ignore guidelines that are there for the good of the child's health. I mean if they did their own research and came back with evidence that early weaning wouldn't damage the child's health and putting the baby in its own room wouldn't increase the risk of SIDS then fair enough but I don't think they're going to find any!

zapostrophe - 5 year olds have fewer tantrums, do they? [Glances over at 5 year old having a major tantrum about something more or less irrelevant while 2 year old gets about his business. Sigh]

Well I was weaned three weeks before I was born. AND they fed me a full roast dinner on the day I was born, none of this liquidising, it was chew or be chewed round these parts.

Bubbley - what very few on here seem to like to accept is that is not obligatory to raise your children according to advice based on recent research. Following scientific guidelines and research based advice is one way to raise your children but nobody does that exclusively - we all follow our gut too and do what our parents did - or didn't.

If you are all about reading, understanding and following advice then weaning at 10 weeks won't make sense to you at all. It doesn't to me - but not everybody is like us and that doesn't mean they are raising their children with intent to harm them. It doesn't mean that they are harming them.

Weaning at 10 weeks is awful.

Otherwise, I wanted my dc's to get past the baby stage as soon as possible. Little babies aren't really much fun. Too vulnerable and tiring to enjoy that stage at all IME. I always said the first week was fine but the next 6 months were dull and stressfull.

My mum's friend had a "big" baby. She tells me the midwife advised her friend to pick up some baby rice on the way home from hospital because he was so big and "too much liquid would be bad for him"

Because weight has nothing to do with readiness of the digestive system. Age isn't infallible, but it's a lot better than weight.

Ours were in their own room from a few days. The midwife suggested we would get a better nights sleep without the snuffly noises and also we wouldn't stir unnecessarily (particularly with the first) at the slightest noise. Monitor in room, night night sleep tight.

Worked for us.

Actually to add to my post, whilst I loved the smell of all my babies, I find eat, sleep, sick, poo boring. Yes the smiles made me really happy but I enjoy my time with the children much more now . Since the age that they have been able to communicate it has been great.

I don't want them to grow up too quickly, I just enjoy the post baby stage interaction much, much more.

I'm not trying to put down those people whose babies and themselves have slept better in seperate rooms, if it works for you then fine. In this case though DPs friends are constantly saying (on facebook/ via text/ face to face) they are so tired because they needed to get up to settle their DD 5 or 6 times a night(when it was once or twice before they moved her). It makes me wonder why they don't just pop her cot back into their room to see if it might improve.

Lequeen - don't want to get into another extended debate with you on this thread but being ready for weaning has nothing to do with weight - it's to do with the readiness of the child's gut to handle solid food. Have a look on the weaning board - there is loads of info there about the reasons to avoid early weaning.

RE carbon dioxide - have never heard anything about that. I thought it had something to do with the parent's breathing helping to regulate the baby's and the parents being more aware of the child, esp the mother, even when asleep. Anyone else?

I think plenty of new mums are too aware of their child IYSWIM. For the first couple of nights with our first so much as a sniffle would result in paranoia (sp?). Whilst one of ours was a little beggar for wailing, at least we only ended up with limited sleep deprivation. As for my breathing regulating the baby, I just wanted us as a family to get into the most settled and satisfactory routine for all of us asap and my breathing (or anything else for that matter) was not regulated with the first.

I know 2 babies (my nephew now 17yo and a current 2yo) who were 12 lbs at birth*. Their moms were ardent exclusive successful breastfeeders, too (LOL).

The pressure to grow up too fast gets even worse as they get older, imho.

(*one of those was a straightforward enough vaginal birth, too!)

DH (who is 33) was weaned at 8 weeks, as the GP told MiL her breastmilk wasn't nourishing him enough!

DS is 16 months and though I do look back slightly rosy-eyed at him when he was so so tiny, he's so much more fun and so much easier now. Before he was just this tiny thing that screamed all the time and kept us up all night, much as I loved him, now he's this proper little person that's full of fun and really affectionate.

I think partly it's that you're always working towards the 'next' thing - holding their head up, rolling, sitting, eating, crawling, walking, talkingÂ? as soon as they've mastered one thing you wonder when they're going to manage the next!

OP - have your DH's friends spoken to health visitor/GP about early weaning? May be worth them doing so to get a full picture of what the recommended options are (.ie. upping feeds, topping up feeds, etc) when dealing with a hungry baby. FWIW both my babies fed every 2 hours or so until weaned onto solids (often went longer between feeds at night time so I could just about cling to my sanity) - some babies are just hungrier than others. I agree with others - the little baby stage (which by the way I absolutely loved both times - but then I quite like sitting still cuddling a tiny baby for ages as dont get a chance to sit still and do nothing at all in normal everyday life with a high pressurised job and juggling 5 million things when at home) can be stultifyingly boring for some, which is why they want their tiny babies to grow up quickly so they get more interaction.

Oh - and my babies were weaned onto solids at 6 months or so by the way...

lequeen - it isn't a magic 6 month/26 week figure. As you say, some babies will be ready earlier than others BUT it accepted that it is around the 6 month mark that this happens and that it is safest to wait until that time to reduce risk of allergies etc. This is based on LOTS of research and if you look in the weaning section you can see it. There are signs that a baby is ready to be weaned/ able to handle solid food such as being able to sit up, grab food, get it into their mouth, chew and swallow without gagging. An 11 week old isn't capable of that.

Sorry to hear your baby had such bad colic but I really think your HV's explanation is a bit to be honest. You'll probably argue with me over that though so best to leave it others on here to correct you

Tiny babies are a nightmare

I wish they were all born around the three-month mark, or later in the case of my dd2, who was a screamy nightmare until she was about 20 mos. If early weaning or sleeping in separate rooms (I did neither, probably should have) saves sanity I'm all for it

The OP's friends do sound like they're trying to prove a point more than their baby is driving them up the wall

'so best to leave it others on here to correct you '

This is exactly what's wrong with this whole weaning debate on mnet. Some of you really do think you're dealing with an absolute right and wrong and you aren't. Make your decisions for your own children but don't think that you are doing any better than anyone else. Lequeen doesn't require 'correcting'. She's an adult - would it be so hard for some of you to remember that?

northernlurker - 'correct' was probably the wrong word - 'inform' is probably better. Apologies - v tired and rushed.