to wonder why some people want their tiny babies to grow up so quickly?

[GlendaTheGrizzlyPiggy]

DPs friend and his partner have a 10 week old DD.

They (proudly) informed us that they have weaned their DD and that she sleeps in her own room at night .

I had to bite my tongue very hard when they told us this and even harder when I saw them spooning baby rice into a tiny screaming babys mouth. The poor thing just kept pushing the food out, they kept spooning it back in.

I just can't get my head around why they want their baby to grow up so quickly. DS is almost 6 months and it's already gone far too quickly for me. Why you'd want to speed up the process is beyond me.

So AIBU for feeling sad (and very slightly judgey) that they arn't making the most of their DDs babyhood?

I think the problem with saying "well this method of doing x produces children who are more confident/socially capable/ have higher self esteem etc" is that

1. You have no proof of what the child would have been like had you done something different

1. The "thing" you did is just one element of a unique parenting system so there's no way of knowing if it was (eg)co-sleeping that made DC a well adjusted child or if it was something else you did.

Most "evidence" of parenting practice tends to be based on small studies (note: not trials) or extrapolate from data which isnt wholly representative (eg CC and the Romanian orphanage data)

I dont know why parents feel they have to defend their way of doing things so much. Most kids turn out fine, and always have done. In twenty years time, it may well be that things we are championing now have been completely blown out of the water. Kids will be trying to sue their parents for subjecting them to Iggle Piggle or something.

Because tiny babies are dull and screamy. yes they are cuddlesome, but give me a 2 year old any day. I cope much better when I am not responsible for every mouthfull of food the child takes. hence my delight at discovering BLW, and my gleeful smuggedity sitting in a cafe with my 9 month old tucking into egg and chips with a fork while my friend's one year old palpated carrot mush around his mouth and his mother looked on jealously at my rapidly clearing plateas her food congealed

Oh I LOVE toddlers and their diktats

"Red inna inna want!!!!! ARRRRRGH! Putta want! ARRRRGH! NONONONONOOOOO!"

What's BLW? Sounds brilliant.

lequeen if you look down from my last comment i changed 'correct' to 'inform' - sorry you didn't see that.

Regarding not following new guidelines (and this isn't aimed just at you lequeen - others have said it to) I'm just wondering why people are selective about what they decide to follow.

THere has been lots of research showing that it is better for the child's health to wait until it is around 6 months old for weaning - before that it was 17 weeks for quite a while (not sure how when it was 10/12 weeks but it must have been some time ago) and they obviously found significant reason to change it to 6 months. If people don't believe it or choose to ignore it because thir own children who were weaned much earlier are fine then why not apply that logic to all other recommendations? Would people continue to put their baby to sleep on their front/not put them in a car seat because they/their children were fine with that? Just curious really...

said it too* not to

BLW is when, instead of spooning stuff into their mouths, you wait until they are desperate able enough to pick it up and shove it into themselves, an action that 5 and 6 months babies are well able for.

if they swallow it, they are ready to be weaned (and in fact have proven so by doing it themselves). You start with things like broccoli trees and whole soft pears. It's messy but you get to eat your own dinner and the baby learns that they are in control of their appetites, not you.

Maybe they changed the recommended weaning time because people have poorer diets now/ eat more processed food than 20 yrs ago, so weaning a child later is now considered better as it protects a child from their parents' love of KFC for longer.

Remember that most government guidelines are aimed at very stupid people- eg they only changed the drinking in pregnancy recommendations to "none at all" because they realised that some people did not realise that 8 bottles of WKD in a single sitting is not "drinking in moderation"

Funny how those who state they are happy in their choices feel the need to defend them, mainly by attcking others?

Will you baby be harmed by eating farleys rusks at 12 weeks? Probably not. Its an individual baby, it will most likely be as healthy as if you fed her organic home knitted lentil loaf from 6 months on. There are a million other things that maye make them healthy or unhealthy.

That doesn't change the fact that many independent highly trained and qualified scientists with no hidden agendas and no corporate sponsership ethical dilemmas (because no company is paying them to not recommend their products) have published much peer reviewed and replicable data that suggests that overall and statistically speaking, later weaning is better for most (not all) babies.

Because that doesn't suit your opinion, you dismiss it. Well ok, you do that, your call. Hardly puts you in a position to criticise those who happen to have studied it and use it to change their methods.

I weaned DS at 17 weeks because he needed more calories, and BM wasn't enough. he was starving.

I can see why many people wean early, they just want a bloody good night's sleep! if they are satisfied and full up, there's a higher chance they'll sleep through, or at least a few extra hours kip for the parents..

YABU as some babies really do need extra cals.
YANBU when you say they were forcing the food back in the baby's mouth. That's not on

LeQueen I actually remember a mum who asked if she could heat her baby's bottle in my microwave. I was going to suggest safer I she pops it in a boiling jug of water but no, she wanted the 'quick' way

Even I'm not an expert on bottle feeding, but I do know that heat isn't evenly distributed in a microwave.

lovechoc - bm has more calories than most early weaning foods - baby rice/fruit purees etc

and I also echo what others say. newborns ARE boring. they cry, they poop, they pee, they do a lot of sleeping and they want fed all the time. what's exciting about that! the exciting stage is from 2yo onwards when they can interact with their strange new world.

I liked BLW for the same reason as breastfeeding/co-sleeping. No chopping/pureeing, just hand the kid the same stuff you are having.

I think it could be a first born thing tbh? When i had my dd i was anxious for her to go on to the next stage all the time, constantly thinking about next rather then just enjoying the moment in time.

When my ds came along, i realised how quickly the baby stage goes and cherished him being a baby while it lasted.

Do you think us BLWers, breastfeeders and cosleepers are fundamentally just more lazy?

Don't get me wrong, I had a tough start with the ol' boobs.. but I know that the reason I will keep going for as long as I can has very little to do with the possibility of gaining an additional two IQ points and a whole lot more to do with my general laziness/inability to prepare things according to instructions/dislike of having to pack too much in advance of a simple trip to the shops. I only cosleep because I'm averse to making my baby scream the street down when we can just snuggle instead and that same selfish laziness is why I'm interested in BLW too... Annabel Karmel's book was given to me as a present and it just seems like too much faff when I could just shove an overripe pear in junior's general direction...

Yep totally agree with you Morloth. It has nothing to do with trying to emulate women in tribes or whatever, or because the organic market is well advertised.

But purely because I find it easier to breastfeed, co-sleep and probably blw when I get to it. Also great that it is cheaper than buying loads of kit, and I enjoy it much more.