Is my dh being unreasonable to not one to serve a b/feeding mother at the counter???

[twotimes]

Twas talking to the dh this morning when he brought up an incident that happened in work the other day. He was working in a a well known mobile phone shop behind the counter when a woman came in with her daughter and her three kids. Both the women were at the counter discussing mobile options with dh whilst two of the children were running around the shop. All of a sudden mid conversation dh turned to get a phone and when he had turned back the daughter had whopped them out and started b/feeding. And he hasten's to add - with absolutely no modesty, just in her full glory. I should note, the baby was *not8 crying or making a sound before hand. Was he being unreasonable to be mortified??????

Now this isn't completely serious, he wasn't rude, he just carried on serving but felt the need to tell me about it later. He isn't a prude, I b/fed both dc's and all his family b/feed that isn't the issue. What he keeps going on about, is that "she didn't even cover".

At first I just pissed my self laughing (I could literally imagine his face) but then I thought seriously, people should be able to b/feed but at a counter in a shop, with no discretion?

I sometimes wonder where people live. All around the world for the last 12 years I have never ever come across a woman who "whops them out", not once.

Have fed pretty much everywhere there is to feed and I would say that 90% of the time nobody even notices and I don't make any real effort at discretion. Lift shirt, unhook bra, put baby on.

verylittlecarrot - if a man calmly got out his cock and draped it over his leg would you say he was standing up for what he believed in? (no pun intended!)

After all the penis is not just a tool for sex, sometimes it gets hot and irritable (according to dh) and it would be more convenient for men if they could just let it all hang out. Should they challenge the taboo that seeing a cock in public is rude?

OP, Your dh did serve her, so good. But, you asked if your dh was unreasonable to "not want to" serve her. Apply that question to any one of the minority groups I mentioned earlier and see if you think it's an acceptable attitude to take. Verity I am a minority group and take offence at you putting b/feeding in public and being a minority in the same category. I am absolutely sick of people making stupid comparisons like that. I don't believe anybody was ever killed for b/feeding regardless of however uncomfortable they made anybody feel.

Oh Morloth I have. In Preston at my old doctors surgery. There is a bit by the front door where you stand and wait for the receptionist to buzz you into the waiting room. There are a couple of chairs there against the wall facing reception (it's only a narrow place like a hall) and once I remember a lady sat there with both boobs full exposed whilst feeling her baby. She had her blouse undone and wasn't wearing a bra so yes, both breasts were out.

Rhubarb - what you have said in all your explanatory posts (after my original post) is exactly how I felt. For a moment, I really did not twig what she was doing. I expected to be flamed for the post - but thank you anyway.

runnybottom - apologies. I REALLY did not mean she should have asked my permission. Of course not.

sorry left out the quote marks in my last post but still very pissed off

Oh don't worry ABD, we'll flame you for something else instead! Have you seen my blog btw? In my profile (not the Rhubarb's blog bit, that is deleted) the link for the wordpress blog.

Just thought I'd mention it in case you wanted to look. I've got my tits out on it!

It's a bit odd.... but to each their own.

Personally I'm going to try to be discreet - but only discreet - I think that those breast feeding covers are truly abhorrent.

You see so little when feeding a child that there's no way I'm going to place myself behind some hideous screen as if what I'm doing is disgusting.

I read a comment somewhere that you should carry a blanket around when breastfeeding in public, so that if people complain you can hand it to them to cover their heads with

"There's no real need to be flashing them"

Aaaaarrggggghhhhhh

Well, clearly there was or she wouldn't have done it! Why does anyone have a problem if she is 'flashing' them anyway? It's not rude, it's not rude, it's not rude...it's HER way of feeding her baby - not yours!

Clearly some people just HAVE to be allowed to judge others.

There's no real need to NOT flash them. I'm bloody grateful that some people are braver than I am because it's those people who change things for the better.

bedlam, yes I do see what you are getting at but I do think that whilst we as a society are obsessed with porn and sex, then any bit of flesh is going to be a nudge, nudge, wink, wink occasion. Some men don't want to see breasts as feeding apparell, they want to be able to leer at them. When reminded of their natural uses society somehow seems to shrink back.

I'm not sure that exposing both your breasts to the passing public whilst feeding is necessarily the right way to go however.

"I read a comment somewhere that you should carry a blanket around when breastfeeding in public, so that if people complain you can hand it to them to cover their heads with "

or hand them a copy of the sun so they don't have to see any naked....ah.

ABD FWIW I knew what you meant about asking you, not in a permission way, just informing you to give youthe chance to say "No problem, shall I go and make us some coffee?"
of course if you had forbidden her you would have been an idiot.

I x-posted with a lot of others.

The woman just had a t shirt on under her dungarees and she sort of dropped the top of her dunagrees and pulled up her t shirt in one movement. She was basically naked from her waist up to her sternum.

I have other female friends who BF in their houses in front of me but just a bit more dicretely. No problem.

Rhubarb - I agree with ABD. Not with the asking if he minded bit, just that a little warning might have been polite (as in "just going to feed Constanza").

Of course it's relevant that he was alone (other than the dcs) with this woman. Reminds me of when I was being shown around a house (alone) by an estate agent and he asked me to come upstairs.

Slightly different perhaps in that he and I had "history" and this was the first time I'd seen him since. But I doubt I'd have had that fleeting "good grief!" thought had dp been there too

Sorry you feel pissed off twotimes, but I stand by my analogy.

Prejudice exists on a spectrum. It isn't valid to 'protect' one's own experience of prejudice and deny someone elses.

"Being Killed" is not the only measure of whether someone had been subject to a bigotted attitude, thankfully.

You may feel that the judgement and bile, embarrassment and humiliation endured by breastfeeding women every day is less worthy of sympathy than your own experience. But if you want to deny that prejudice exists you are perpetuating the same attitude you probably abhor when it relates to your personal situation.

For all you know, I may have suffered worse prejudice because of breastfeeding than another individual may have because of their minority status. People have been chucked out of restaurants, shops, off buses, been verbally abused - it's a daily occurrence.

It isn't a competition, and it isn't for you to judge who is worthy of protection and who isn't.

Why have I got to sit in the corner of a cafe if I want to breastfeed? What if there are no seats in the corner? Am I allowed to sit someone else or do I have to look for somewhere else to have a cup of tea?

Perhaps I should have a bell, or a placard that says 'unclean' in case anyone tries to sit next to me?

yes GAL, and I'd add why does bf have to be a specific activity for which I must remove myself? I started a thread yesterday to say that depedning on baby's age/mood etc, my way of feeding can be 30s on, 10mins off, 20mins off, snooze, wake, play, 20s on, 5 mins off - I'd be up and down like a yo yo. If I fed for half an hour every 3 hours going to sit in the corner may be practical, but with the way I (and DD) choose to feed it's not really practical.

I was just thinking back to every experience I have ever had in a mobile phone shop. The line-ups are SO LONG that if I had a hungry baby by the time I made it to the front of the queue, I would feed right then and there as well.

yes tsc, someone further down has said she should have sat in a chair, out of the way

Yes thesecondcoming, Abetadad said exactly that - that breastfeeding women should be tucked away in the corner of a cafe with a shawl over them.

verity you are having a grand joke on our behalf I believe????? "protect one's own experience of prejudice and deny someone elses"????????? No being killed isn't the only measure of whether someone has been subject to a bigoted attitude, however, there are examples of every single one of the minorities you mentioned being killed. And that is the difference!

You really do not have clue of prejudice.

Do I see? Yeah, I'm not fick or nuffink