Is my dh being unreasonable to not one to serve a b/feeding mother at the counter???

[twotimes]

Twas talking to the dh this morning when he brought up an incident that happened in work the other day. He was working in a a well known mobile phone shop behind the counter when a woman came in with her daughter and her three kids. Both the women were at the counter discussing mobile options with dh whilst two of the children were running around the shop. All of a sudden mid conversation dh turned to get a phone and when he had turned back the daughter had whopped them out and started b/feeding. And he hasten's to add - with absolutely no modesty, just in her full glory. I should note, the baby was *not8 crying or making a sound before hand. Was he being unreasonable to be mortified??????

Now this isn't completely serious, he wasn't rude, he just carried on serving but felt the need to tell me about it later. He isn't a prude, I b/fed both dc's and all his family b/feed that isn't the issue. What he keeps going on about, is that "she didn't even cover".

At first I just pissed my self laughing (I could literally imagine his face) but then I thought seriously, people should be able to b/feed but at a counter in a shop, with no discretion?

no, and he wnbu to be surprised but he was bu to not want to serve her

IF this story is true I think the woman was a tad silly. Lets not be so "pro BF" that we think its OK to make people uncomfortable. Its possible to b feed discreetly, and cover the rest of the mams.

I think behaving like this woman did in insensitive, does she not give a shit about making a stranger feel uncomfortable? is she so militant she doesnt give a shit? for some salesmen to be confrotnted with a massive booby!

Boobs are both for feeding and for sex, end of.

I agree with what soupgragon says

But that's my point Stealth - be comfortable about your own choices and don't expect society to validate them for you. If you want to breast feed in the carphone warehouse go ahead, its your right. But don't expect the bloke serving you to smile admiringly as if it was no different than a bottle - its not, its a boob - he is more likely to go home to his wife and say "cor, guess what I saw today!". But he didn't discriminate against her or make her feel uncomfortable so no harm done but people have cannot help being bit shocked or suprised as we are CONDITONED to see breasts as sexual objects until we have children. Bloody hell, I've stuffed mine into enough push up man traps in my time and worn low cut tops. Just because I plan to use them to feed by baby in a few months time doesn't mean society strikes me off the "breasts are sexy" list and puts me on the "breasts are for feeding list". Will I expect my husband to forever turn a blind eye to them as sexual objects from the minute I have a baby. I don't think I will.

Nicely said Bewler

no your not alone.

yes but do you think he was so put out he couldn't bring himself to serve her? Is that not a bit excessive? AsI said earlier - can people really get that offended (and yet presumably walk past the Sun and Nuts every day)?

But he did serve her, Stealth.

I like torso of the week in heat but I feel a bit put out seeing a big sweaty shirtless man in a shopping centre

bewler, so true

I have just remembered my wonderba and low cut top days

Now I just have pregnant udders

I want to cry now

Rockbird: yes, but most mature / intelligent / sensitive people can react within context.

If Doctors (of either sex), we hope, can carry out an examination of sexual organs without finding it an erotic encounter, then it doesn't seem too much to ask that someone could glimpse breastfeeding and see it for what it is.

my post should have said twotimes not your not alone

yes, and the OP asks was he being unreasonable not to want to serve her?
Well yes he was? Was he really that upset? Really??

I feel quite eww when I see women with fat spilling over their waistbands (which is why all my mirrors have a fnie layer of dust) but I wouldn't go so far as to not want to interact with them in a normal way.

I really can't be arsed reading the whole thread as some of the responses will be sadly predictable but as someone mentioned very early on, does your DH get mortified when he reads page 3 of the sun ? Probably not. And I feel really sad for those people who view their breasts as something that their husband is entitled to have a 'share' of - how 1950's is that ? I've had nothing but positive comments from older people when BF in public - it's our sad generation who measure everything in terms of sex and tittilation who have the issues.

Stealth do you not think its how people ACT on their reactions that is important? If you feel judgey in your head (as we all do about things) is that not your private feelings but as long as you treat that person with the respect you would afford anyone else then no harm done?

YANBU - he wasn't unreasonable not to want to serve her. Like most British men he's probably both salacious and weirdly prudish about breasts when they're being used for their primary purpose: feeding babies. Can't help himself - it's a cultural thing.

But he was unreasonable not to serve her, because in fact she wasn't actually doing anything intrinsically indecent or unpleasant by breastfeeding her baby in public.

yes, I suppose you're right - I took it to mean would he be justified in not wanting to serve her...as in choosing not to should there be a next time iyswim

Perhaps you'd get a free dongle if you flashed your knickers, Ruby

If he declined to serve her then I think everyone would agree that his actions would be unreasonable but for thinking in his head "OMG, BOOBS, put 'em away, EW, time and a place, must tell the wife and start a debate on MN about this, BOOOBS!" then who cares.

Actually stealth and sassybeast, he doesn't like to see skin all over the place, he's not a fan of half naked women as he's become quite conservative in his old age, he won't read the sun because he doesn't like to open his paper and see naked women (and because of the drivel they write).

However, his response I believe was more the shock and he felt it was out of place. That's his opinion. He is allowed to have one. He didn't say anything to her and he would never do so. He just said it to me in one conversation and I actually thought the scenario was funny. Didn't really mean it to be a serious topic but some serious issues have been raised.

Oh and tittybangbang he isn't british. He's fine with b/feeding his mother b/fed, his two sil's b/fed and I certainly did. Why does he need to be salacious or weirdly prudish just because he doesn't like someone doing it right in his face.

Sassybeast

I think there are different ways to BF in public

So many many women are able to do it discreetly, so yes whilst I can clearly see what they are doing I am not exposed to a massive mam. What on earth is wrong with covering up with a muslin/pashmina to avoid making people feel uncomfrotable, OR to avoid making yourself feel uncomfortable?

I dont get it, really. This militant attiude of assuming people MUST accept your breasts and they are NATURAL

Porcamiseria

Pre baby = look at my fab norks in this wonderbra, don't I look sexy. Where are my chicken fillets?

Post baby = stop gauping at my breasts you prudish, judgemental, pervy person. Can't you see I am feeding the BAYBEEEE!

bottle feeding makes me uncomfortable, please can people cover their babies' heads with a towel when they do it in public
[sarcasm]

If 'you' feel uncomfortable (generic you, not you in person) about seeing a nipple, then that is YOUR issue and YOUR hang up and not mine/my babys/any other BF mums. We are sooooo obsessed with sex and sexuality in our society and so far removed from what a breast is for. It's for feeding a child, not for titilatting the readers of the Sun. Amd how on earth does militancy come into it ? What is militant about feeding a baby ? Those of us who refuse to hide away in a smelly toilet are militant are we ?