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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To now dislike my dd's class teacher after finding her on MN?

464 replies

absinthe · 25/02/2010 14:48

She wasn't very complementary about the little dah-lings in her care and I am silently fuming now. I completely randomly feel upon her user name and looked at her profile on the off chance that it might be her and there she was - pics n' all. She does not post a lot but one of her posts would put her in line for at least a formal warning if not more.

Can't say who she is but it is definitely her - without a shadow of a doubt.

I have never had MN cross over into RL before. Is it wrong of me to glance at her generally boring posts, just because it's her?

Maybe I could drop subtle hints about the fact that I use MN too just to see her reaction.

In any case, I think it was a bit sloppy and feel she should have taken more care to make herself anonymous.

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 27/02/2010 12:14

I have just looked at my own wish list and on it are two books that I was going to buy for other people. One I was doing a price check on and the other wasn't yet printed.
On that basis it doesn't actually follow that she's interested in voodoo (her list) or that I'm interested in birds (my list).

I was a bit unnerved that you can check out people using their real names! I never realised when you set up an Amazon account that your real name was going to be available for anyone to search on. Blimey, you can't do anything privately nowadays

With regard to the teacher's comments. If they were bad enough that they were a breach of confidence or undesirable/possible disciplinary thing, then wouldn't other poster, especially other teachers, have pointed it out on the original thread and suggested she delete the post(s)? It sounds like she has realised an her error of judgement putting pics up - a lesson to us all!

daisy5678 · 27/02/2010 13:08

Re: new user name

paranoidoverprotectivemummy?

stalkergrrrlll?

iownyourinternetactivity?

ifyoureinmyl ifeiownyourprivacy?

Cammelia · 27/02/2010 13:13

Voodoobullshit

Conundrumish · 27/02/2010 13:36

I remember a post by a teacher that was derogative about her class and I think she had a profile because I commented that I hoped the parents weren't on m'net. She said that hadn't occured to her .

Conundrumish · 27/02/2010 13:39

I remember a post by a teacher that was derogative about her class and I think she had a profile because I commented that I hoped the parents weren't on m'net. She said that hadn't occured to her .

Acekicker · 27/02/2010 14:10

The teacher has fucked up in being identifiable online with her pics etc but the nice thing would have been for the OP to have just let the teacher know that she was identifiable discretely and privately.

Trawling all over her private life and getting het up because she's got books on her wishlist that the OP thinks shouldn't be there (for reasons that are unfathomable) is spiteful and to me smacks of (not very subtle) harassment.

OP - what will satisfy you over this - the teacher coming on here and admitting publicly it was them and promising never to read anything other than books about how to nurture PFBs and the G&T dahlings? Other mums cottoning on and a orchestrated campaign of complaints to the school so this teacher loses their job (possibly through stress)?

If the teacher in question is reading this, I'd love you to come and teach at my child's school - I think ranting after bad day and enough of a grip on reality to realise that no child is an angel 100% of the time makes you exactly the sort of teacher I'd like to teach my child. Plus my kid would love to learn about Voodoo and what it is - it's all good gruesome, exciting stuff when you're that age.

iggi999 · 27/02/2010 14:13

Absinthe: "She has removed her profile from MN overnight so job well done, IMO"
Well good for you.
I'm really chuffed too at now being so paranoid about stalker parents that I've had to remove all photos from mine.
I come on mn (like most people) for support (with serious issues) to let off steam (with day to day stuff) and generally for a laugh and an occasional debate. I guess these privileges are only meant for people with "normal" jobs, who I hope by the way will no longer be posting about their crap bosses or clients or mothers-in-law.

iggi999 · 27/02/2010 14:14

I think we could have finished this discussion a lot earlier too if we'd been told exactly (or even more or less) what the teacher actually said. We are imagining things possibly better or worse that what really went on. (unless I've missed a post somewhere in 14 pages!)

Acekicker · 27/02/2010 14:20

"job well done, IMHO"

Nice - so what you actually wanted all along was just harass her off a forum - very classy.

violethill · 27/02/2010 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

probono · 27/02/2010 14:32

god some of you are so awful, so much worse than the op

really noxious series of comments there

can't believe you're teachers, what a horrid lot

violethill · 27/02/2010 14:36

Oh yes, didn't you know bitching is a compulsory element of teacher training. We do it well.

Bonsoir · 27/02/2010 14:36

Indeed, probono.

satc2bringiton · 27/02/2010 14:36

It doesn't matter what job you do - slagging off anyone be it a MIL, boss, whatever and having a photo on your profile, you are going to get found out at some point.

probono · 27/02/2010 14:39

just appalling, embarrassing, ill thought and distasteful

hth

MrsC2010 · 27/02/2010 14:39

Erm, surely on giving back a little of what is received?

probono · 27/02/2010 14:40

er -- no, i don't think so

MrsC2010 · 27/02/2010 14:41

Oh, and I think it is the motivation behind the Amazon hunt (sounds very exotic) that makes this behaviour a little not on, looking for a friend in order to buy them a thoughtful present is very different to hunting down your child's teacher for more 'dirt' on them!

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 14:42

probono, you ought to take a look at the TES staffroom posts if you want to be truly horrified about how nasty teachers can be when they're being human rather than professional.

The fact that you can't believe we're teachers merely underlines how good we can appear to be when acting in a professional role.

Bonsoir · 27/02/2010 14:43

If I got wind of my child's teacher's inappropriate and unprofessional behaviour, I might use any means available to me to learn more about her character. That sounds like responsible parenting to me.

MrsC2010 · 27/02/2010 14:46

Oh there have to be lines don't they? Digging around their private life because they said something on an internet forum that we dislike? (We don't even know what that is, as I said, if she called them all spoilt little shits that is different to saying the were a nightmare sometimes.) I would agree if you'd heard rumours they were 'into' small children, but surely this all has to be in perspective...what are you protecting them from by getting het up over MN and searching around Amazon?!

I am starting to doubt the decision to more than half my salary and spend 2 years retraining to teach other's children if this is the level of respect and appreciation shown to teachers.

Bonsoir · 27/02/2010 14:48

Teachers don't automatically deserve respect or appreciation. It depends whether they are any good at their job and whether their general conduct and demeanour are worthy.

That is the same for any job.

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 14:49

A responsible parent would find an alternative school. It's the option my head reminds parents of when they raise objections that he thinks are unjustified or irrelevant.

satc2bringiton · 27/02/2010 14:50

agreed bonsoir

violethill · 27/02/2010 14:50

Does regularly slagging off the mother of your partner's children on a public forum constitute good parenting too?

(I won't direct that comment at anyone in particular - let's just see if the cap fits?!!)

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