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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To now dislike my dd's class teacher after finding her on MN?

464 replies

absinthe · 25/02/2010 14:48

She wasn't very complementary about the little dah-lings in her care and I am silently fuming now. I completely randomly feel upon her user name and looked at her profile on the off chance that it might be her and there she was - pics n' all. She does not post a lot but one of her posts would put her in line for at least a formal warning if not more.

Can't say who she is but it is definitely her - without a shadow of a doubt.

I have never had MN cross over into RL before. Is it wrong of me to glance at her generally boring posts, just because it's her?

Maybe I could drop subtle hints about the fact that I use MN too just to see her reaction.

In any case, I think it was a bit sloppy and feel she should have taken more care to make herself anonymous.

OP posts:
LittleMrsHappy · 27/02/2010 10:25

I dont feel sorry for her actions about her slating her pupils, I do however feel sorry for her for having a derange mother trying to scoop more dirt on her, when really it is not needed at all, as she has more than enough for the teacher to get into trouble!

I still dont understand the logic of diggin more "dirt" on her just because she is her dd teacher, she can and does have a life which "shock horror" has no impact on her professional life, she is after all human!

MrsC2010 · 27/02/2010 10:25

I think this all has to be put in perspective in terms of what she actually said.

Did she jusy say somehting like "one of my younger groups can be a right nightmare at times", or "Group 3B is full of right spoilt little shits"? Cause as a teacher the school wouldn't care about the first comment but (rightly) would care about the latter. (I don't know many teachers who would say the latter outside of a close circle.

I do think the Amazon thing (whilst understandable, lots of people do this kind of thing) is a barrel of snakes though, like checking your husband's mobile. What do you do with this information you find distasteful now you've got it? The poor woman has done nothing wrong, she is just interested in things you find odd. However this makes you uncomfortable, but there is nothing you can do bar have to live with these feelings of discomfort unless you admit to what you did/saw and deal with it. Nothing will come of it bar you getting seen as a raving weirdo, and her probably asking for your child to be moved out of her class. Which makes getting this kind of 'info' a bit of a double edged sword.

I don't have anything I worry about on my wishlist, a few books from when I was TTC, a few interesting books I'd like to read, a few bits of baby equipment now I'm pregnant, a hypnobirthing book etc...all of which I don't mind people seeing, but it would have outed my pregnancy before I made it public had anyone at school searched a few weeks ago. I also wouldn't be bothered about people seeing books on voodoo etc in my basket were they there...why would I? I find things like that fascinating and would be interested in reading about them (and have), but I am certainly not a 'practitioner' nor a weirdo!

StayFrosty · 27/02/2010 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

probono · 27/02/2010 10:29

do you mean a troll frosty

actually I don't know

maybe.. my radar isn't very good on trolls but i wouldn't rule it out

actually i don't rule it out at all

teacher doesn't post very much however within a few hours notices this and removes profile?

hmmmmmmmmmm it is a bit fishy

Original poster
absinthe · 27/02/2010 10:43

I'm not even going to bother trying to convince any other posters as to whether or not I am a troll - but then Frosty's insinuations stand up to close scrutiny and she has really provided substantial evidence in favour of her theory (i.e. not).

I am the one considering changing MY user name if anything, because she is now probably trying to work out my identity and there are some threads on here which I would not particularly like her to know about. But, hey ho, i'm not going to spit my dummy out or become sectionably paranoid about it like some of posters - I'll bloody well get on with it, that's all

OP posts:
Bucharest · 27/02/2010 10:43

It strikes me as being more uber-PFBy than trolly.

Not that the two are mutually exclusive.

Nobody has been to stalk me on Amazon and tell me which bedding to get yet....

probono · 27/02/2010 10:55

oh well i find that quite convincing

it's not pfb-ish either though

who wouldn't be pissed off? it's not right to do that

Original poster
absinthe · 27/02/2010 10:57

But that's just it Bucharest - bedding, chick lit would have been fine, boring=ok. But to have someone write about using subtle methods to keep the class in check without them knowing, then to see pages of Voodoo; I think she deserved to be outed and shamed a little bit.

Btw, one poster keeps referring to the behaviour of my dd being the issue. If you knew her (which you obviously don't) , then you would realise how absurd that comment is - her behaviour is impeccable and she acts like a real mother hen figure towards the yoiunger ones at school; I have only heard good things about her from both teachers and pupils

OP posts:
Bucharest · 27/02/2010 11:03

That was also me, actually, Absinthe.

It was what, to be honest, leaped out at me, because it was the thing that would have got to me more, that (maybe) my child was being such a little sod that the teacher felt the need to vent on here.

I

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 11:04

'she acts like a real mother hen figure towards the younger ones at school'

Any teachers like to comment on that one?
I love the suggestion that subtle methods of class control could be voodoo-influenced. Kind of puts merit marks and golden time in perspective.

Wordweaver · 27/02/2010 11:04

I always thought that Amazon wishlists were meant specifically for other people to look at.

I have used them before to see what a friend would like for his or her birthday - not as a stalkerish thing, I hasten to add!

I'm quite surprised - and interested - to learn that they aren't seen that way by everyone. I only put stuff on a wishlist if I don't intend on buying it for myself in the near future - I see it as the equivalent of a Christmas list, I guess! Anything I plan to buy myself, I put in the 'save for later' section of the shopping basket.

violethill · 27/02/2010 11:05

I think it's entirely up to you who you like or dislike - I doubt she'll be remotely bothered!

mollyroger · 27/02/2010 11:12

sorry, not relevant to this dscussion but Stayfrosty, you made me larf with ''anyone, anyone? Bueller?''

LittleMrsHappy · 27/02/2010 11:15

"But to have someone write about using subtle methods to keep the class in check without them knowing, then to see pages of Voodoo; I think she deserved to be outed and shamed a little bit".

How on earth did you come up with that theory! Do you know how hard it is to keep X amount of children in check! maybe the children were "adventurous" that day and not listening to her! (I dont condone her vent on public forums) but just because she is interested in voodoo, does not make YOU have a right to shame her, just because she differs in her interests.

Im a SW, and I love criminal psychology, (specifically murder cases) as I am intrigued to know why people commit the crimes they way they do! and find the psychology surrounding it fascinating!

Should I be outed for have a interest that differs from chick flick (which to be honestly his mindless and most concur the same ending) (clearly my opinion) and some might object to it!

It gives you know right to "out her" just because her personal interests does not seem relevent to you.

My own HV is obsessed with vampires and a loves anything to do with spells and witches, it does not mean she cannot do her job to the best off her ability!

Goblinchild · 27/02/2010 11:16

I'm glad my Amazon list is now private..
www.amazon.co.uk/s/?ie=UTF8&keywords=voodoo+kit&tag=googhydr-21&index=aps&hvadid=4128887263&ref=pd_s l9k1syj1vw2b

Which one should I choose? Do I need one for children and one for paperwork and adult irritants?

LittleMrsHappy · 27/02/2010 11:18

Excuse the many many errors, I am stressed today, and my dyslexia becomes worse when I am stressed x

mollyroger · 27/02/2010 11:18

Absinthe, I have a certain amount of sympathy with your predicament and the roasting you have received but I do have to say;l there is a WORLD of difference between someone's reading matter of choice and their RL activities.
Seriously. A crappy national newspaper was giving away a charming little booklet the other week entitled something along the lines of 'secrets of the serial killers'. Not sure that everyone who read it was researching their next killing spree
Do you see what I mean?

probono · 27/02/2010 11:26

Yup I think you are a bit too worried about the voodoo. It doesn't mean someone wants twenty voodoo books (which would be rather odd) but that maybe she wants one of them and doesn't know which, and maybe it's just what she's looked at. You can't really glean anything from that, it would be extremely malicious to go round telling people about it.

probono · 27/02/2010 11:27

MrsHappy, I believe Absinthe agrees that she doesn't have the right to out her, which is probably why she hasn't done it, either in cyber world or real life.

LittleMrsHappy · 27/02/2010 11:30

"But that's just it Bucharest - bedding, chick lit would have been fine, boring=ok.
But to have someone write about using subtle methods to keep the class in check without them knowing, then to see pages of Voodoo; I think she deserved to be outed and shamed a little bit".

Absinthe quote above, I have misread this? quote?

probono · 27/02/2010 11:33

Oh, I don't agree with that: but she hasn't done it. Maybe she meant outed "anonymously", as she has been. Outed to herself, even. Anyway, if Absinthe thinks that then she has shown restraint in not doing so.

Original poster
absinthe · 27/02/2010 11:38

I never meant to out her any more than I have managed to do on here - she MUST have got the message as there is not a single post of hers on here under her user name. As I said, I am currently working on my own next user name as she could be counter-stalking or after my toe-nail clippings - any suggestions?

OP posts:
violethill · 27/02/2010 11:42

I think you have an unhealthy interest in the personal lives of other people. Is something missing in your own life?

LittleMrsHappy · 27/02/2010 11:46

absinthe, I think popular consensus has said YNBU, in thinking she is being unprofessional in her vent on a public forum, BUT you were for googling her to get "more dirt" which was completely unnecessary.

TBH I think you are milking this for all its worth, which tbh, is

TheYearOfTheCat · 27/02/2010 11:55

Isn't absinthe the drink that turns people totally and utterly deranged?