To now dislike my dd's class teacher after finding her on MN?

[absinthe]

She wasn't very complementary about the little dah-lings in her care and I am silently fuming now. I completely randomly feel upon her user name and looked at her profile on the off chance that it might be her and there she was - pics n' all. She does not post a lot but one of her posts would put her in line for at least a formal warning if not more.

Can't say who she is but it is definitely her - without a shadow of a doubt.

I have never had MN cross over into RL before. Is it wrong of me to glance at her generally boring posts, just because it's her?

Maybe I could drop subtle hints about the fact that I use MN too just to see her reaction.

In any case, I think it was a bit sloppy and feel she should have taken more care to make herself anonymous.

Perhaps you are forgetting there is no redress here, unless the OP wants to report her and damage her career, which I don't believe she does. She hasn't suggested any action like that at all, merely asks whether it would be wrong to read her posts.

The children haven't been identified individually but as a group. There is no legal redress, and these are children, not adults.

It's not a choice of "restraint all round" or a "totally anonymous forum". There is of course a middle ground, though it might suit your position to claim there isn't.

OK, the teacher was wrong to make herself identifiable to a stalker the OP.

She was not wrong to moan about the class she teaches.

If I had identified my daughter's teacher from a post moaning about her on t'web, I'd first be dealing with my own mortification at my child's behaviour which had compelled the teacher to feel the need to offload on MN before I started the hue and cry (and weirdy stalking on Amazon)

Yes, that's the only thing I object to, Bucharest: identifying the children she's criticising. Otherwise she can vent on and everyone else can believe "well it's not my child she's talking about"

TTSC: not just everybody can, but most people do: future employers, universities, prospective dates and so on. Very interesting that you think that's weird. It's become almost normal.

I'm sorry about what happened to you, I didn't quite get it but it seems to have been unpleasant. What the op has done is look at the teachers' Amazon wishlist and describe it here: it's not something I would do, but hey, I wouldn't breach a trust by calling down identifiable children in my care either. OP hasn't outed her, either mn or real name, and never suggested anything to do with bosses or threats and so on. That's rather different.

"I hope the teacher's world does in fact revolve around herself."

So.. why are you suprised that a mother's life revolves around her children?

"No, I absolutely wouldn't mind if anyone came here to vent - that's life and if you think that's a bit strange then perhaps you have a rather "unusual" sense of reality."

A lot of people would object strongly: that's why we have libel and slander legislation.

"I don't know what the teacher said - but my mum was a teacher and I have friends who are teachers. Turns out not all your children are ikkle angels - some of them are always referred to as "Vile xxxx" or "Slutty xxx"."

To their mothers? Or in private?

"Afaik the teacher has not been tweeting her unhappiness, and I'm going to put my neck on the line and suggest that her moniker on mn is not MrsJaneJonesClass3BCheshirePrimaryTheWirrel. She lost her anonymity because someone got all hot under the collar and wondered if it was just possible that this ghastly-awful-teacher could be referring to her very old child - and guess what? She just might've been."

She hasn't lost her identity. The teacher gave up her anonymity and in doing so, gave up the anonymity of the children she is criticising (as a group). It's not hers to give up.

"probono I think your underhand and snide/sly suggestions were completely inappropriate and childish. I do hope you work in Tesco stacking shelves at night and are not in a position of responsibility..."

What are you talking about, not sure here. Would you copy and paste.

identity = anonymity

Do you mean the actions I suggested at the beginning of the thread?

You think it would be wrong to let the teacher know that she has been recognised and that some of her postings could get her into trouble?

Seriously? Or are you talking about something else?

I don't think referring to anyone's childrens as 'little shits', vile or slutty is appropriate in any circumstances. Sorry.

thesecondcoming, 'keyboard warrior'. That is a good way of putting it.

ps I mean the person who nearly lost you your job btw, not Absinthe

Thanks Probono - you are one of the few people able to see the wood for the trees in all of this.

It seems as though there are people lashing out at me because their own IT skills were too lacking, for them to realise at what point their private information became public. I am apparently to blame for that. By the same token, they are furiously updating settings on Amazon (thanks to the info that I shared). Deeply unpleasant people, if you ask me.

Then there are the lunatics who mentioned stalking, harrassment and cautions! I quit working in the City a while ago and even then, it was completely normal/expected behaviour for HR departments to keep tabs on colleagues in this way. I have a very real day-to-day relationship with the teacher involved and if she is unhinged enough to criticise 8 year old girls online in such a way, then I reserve the right to dig deeper into her history for my own reassurance. Some of these posters display such arrogance in turning a blind eye to other professionals being checked out, but lo and behold, if you do it to a teacher then it's disgusting, creepy, noli me tangere! My message to teachers is that you do not have protected status ("my freetime" - how is that any more special than a non-teacher's freetime?), wise up, get IT savvy enough not to start ranting and raving in this crazy manner and bloody well face up to your accountability

Absinthe, I totally see you points about the teacher, just reckoned you should bring it up with her face to face. The voodoo thing is still playing on my mind! I wouldn't want somebody whose hobby was voodoo teaching my dc. BUT, I just think it's difficult to handle this situation, you want to be careful that you come out of it well. Go into her and ask for five minutes of her time. Good luck

"I quit working in the City a while ago"

How much was your bonus?

I think we should be told.

actually kerry.. now that is underhand but a very tempting idea

I don't say anything I wouldn't say in RL.

I agree with Tether.

I agree with Tether.

That's it TSC -- you mind yourself online in case of what people might see. That's exactly it.

But OP hasn't outed anyone. She's not even threatening to. I don't get why you think she's planning on that.

I agree with Probono.

It's because we ain't yet evolved teccy enough to realise how v v accessible we are.

Am definitely not teccy enough. Tried to do the Amazon thing and retired hurt.

I wouldn't even dare try...but as a serious point, we really don't realise how much we are available out there in yon cyber space. Even on MN I am sometimes surprised when people comment on things I've posted elsewhere on another thread...