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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To now dislike my dd's class teacher after finding her on MN?

464 replies

absinthe · 25/02/2010 14:48

She wasn't very complementary about the little dah-lings in her care and I am silently fuming now. I completely randomly feel upon her user name and looked at her profile on the off chance that it might be her and there she was - pics n' all. She does not post a lot but one of her posts would put her in line for at least a formal warning if not more.

Can't say who she is but it is definitely her - without a shadow of a doubt.

I have never had MN cross over into RL before. Is it wrong of me to glance at her generally boring posts, just because it's her?

Maybe I could drop subtle hints about the fact that I use MN too just to see her reaction.

In any case, I think it was a bit sloppy and feel she should have taken more care to make herself anonymous.

OP posts:

mrsruffallo · 25/02/2010 22:37

Wouldn't mind sex
Would be freaked out by spell books, especially if followed swiftly by promotion

LeninGrad · 25/02/2010 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaurieFairyCake · 25/02/2010 22:40

It's sooooooooo tempting to get promoted and then add the Satanism books

LynetteScavo · 25/02/2010 22:50

Charliesweb...my kids LOVE that book.

My mum bought if for them after my teenage nephew couldn't stop laughing when he found it in the bookshop when they were out shopping together.

I have become some what bored by it now.

CarmenSanDiego · 25/02/2010 23:00

Voodoo is one of the official religions of Haiti. Fairly topical at the moment. How nice to have a well informed teacher.

Yes, making herself identifiable was a mistake but the poor woman is human. I think it's so difficult for teachers, doctors etc. to maintain a professional distance now when the world is so much more connected. We're still exploring here and guidelines aren't all that clear.

Not a teacher and not a particular fan of them as a whole but I do think you sound very unpleasant here.

daisy5678 · 25/02/2010 23:10

Erm...teachers are actually people. I agree that making herself identifiable was silly blah blah but all this about teachers not being allowed to be uncomplimentary about children is just bollocks. Reality check: some children aren't actually that nice (try getting pushed up against a door by a teenage boy who then repeatedly punches you and then tell me I can't call him a little shit or worse...and I'm not even in a hard school)

I love my job and 99.9% of my pupils are amazing. I enjoy being with them and doing what I do. BUT I reserve the right to be a person like any other and occasionally complain. The attitude towards teachers as a homogenous dislikeable unit on here annoys me intensely despite the fact that I fully appreciate that some teachers are actually crap, but this nonsense ideal that teachers should be some kind of saints annoys me even more. People should try doing the job for a few years before getting stroppy that teachers don't universally love and worship each child that they teach.

OP: the stalking thing, as others have said, is wrong and weird. Sometimes it's best not knowing, tbh. How would you like ti if she was googling you?

mrsruffallo · 25/02/2010 23:18

I imagine she is googling absinthe right now.
Or maybe, with her expertise in the dark arts, she doesn't need to.....

iggi999 · 25/02/2010 23:21

Mumcentreplus · 25/02/2010 23:24

FFS this is now officially weird & screechy..

Mumcentreplus · 25/02/2010 23:26

Mumcentreplus · 25/02/2010 23:31

She's Hexing Op's arse as we speak!

wastwinsetandpearls · 26/02/2010 00:20

pmsl at "I am not a fan of them as a whole"

I wonder if other people take a slight dislike to tube drivers or window cleaners?

CarmenSanDiego · 26/02/2010 02:57

Oh, twinset. I'm being a bit tongue-in-cheek. Half my family are teachers and I've got great friends who are teachers. But I've had a few run-ins lately with some very bad teachers who have pushed me into HEing. Which is working out a lot better for my family.

I don't mean any disrespect. Just a bit grumpy with teachers at the moment after a few bad experiences ;)

littleoldme · 26/02/2010 03:05

I'm an ex teacher. All I can say I'm amazed anyone wold be so stupid and unprofessional. Apart from the massive breach of confidentiality and nastiness - if her Head finds out she will be formally disciplined.

I'd do what probono said.

cory · 26/02/2010 07:01

Since I for one have not worked out who the teacher in question is (and have no intention of doing so), the only evidence I have that her remarks were a breach of confidentiality and would have laid her open to disciplinary action is the judgment of the OP. And I have to say, this thread has not left me with a very high opinion of the judgment of the OP.

skihorse · 26/02/2010 07:37

Am I seriously the only one here who suspects that the world does not in fact revolve around OP's daughter - and, dare I put this out there? Perhaps the class on some days does feel like simply rounding up a little bunch of shits? Children are NOT perfect and it's a real shame that apparently teachers are not allowed to use mn as a sounding board. It's also fucking madness that we have to delete photos from our profiles because of the sheer vindictiveness of a few posters. And no, it is absolutely NOT OK to start up spiteful and vicious rumours or make stupid, immature, snide remarks such as "I saw you on mumsnet" about your child's teacher or in fact ANYONE - and this should not need to be told to SEVERAL supposed adults.

Perhaps we could be given a definitive list of professionals not allowed to express frustration at their job, allow me to kick it off:

i) teachers
ii) nurses
iii) nuns
iv) doctors
v) peoplewhoearnlessthanme
vii) that hairdresser, it's not her place to comment that my hair is dry

probono · 26/02/2010 07:42

Skihorse, I am afraid I disagree with you.

I think the world has gone slightly bonkers with the casting aside of privacy when it comes to Twitter and fb, blogs and forums and so on everyone allowed to say anything anywhere any sense of public, decorum, self respect and self control is going to hell in a handbasket.

probono · 26/02/2010 07:48

I mean, who does it revolve around? The teacher, with her self-indulgent ramblings perhaps?

Would you mind if a therapist came on here to vent? A psychiatrist? A depression counsellor?

Feelings can be managed without feeling the need to abuse others to the world. Or they ought to be. Are there no friends to talk to? No colleagues?

If you feel the need to "vent", at least respect your ventees by concealing your identity, out of respect for them. Especially when they are vulnerable.

Orm, of course the children can be identified as a group. Just because we don't know the teacher or the school doesn't mean they are invisible to the world

cory · 26/02/2010 07:49

But have you actually identified this teacher, probono, and seen her on this forum saying things that imply the casting aside of all public decorum? Or are you just going on the word of the OP?

Personally, I am prepared to be completely shocked if a teacher has indeed cast aside self control and said "anything" on a public forum. But I tend to follow the education posts quite closely and I cannot recollect anything of this revealing nature. Which leads me to suspect that the OP may be exaggerating.

skihorse · 26/02/2010 07:54

I hope the teacher's world does in fact revolve around herself.

No, I absolutely wouldn't mind if anyone came here to vent - that's life and if you think that's a bit strange then perhaps you have a rather "unusual" sense of reality.

I don't know what the teacher said - but my mum was a teacher and I have friends who are teachers. Turns out not all your children are ikkle angels - some of them are always referred to as "Vile xxxx" or "Slutty xxx".

Afaik the teacher has not been tweeting her unhappiness, and I'm going to put my neck on the line and suggest that her moniker on mn is not MrsJaneJonesClass3BCheshirePrimaryTheWirrel. She lost her anonymity because someone got all hot under the collar and wondered if it was just possible that this ghastly-awful-teacher could be referring to her very old child - and guess what? She just might've been.

So I think the real problem here is that OP is mighty miffed that someone might have voiced the opinion that her child is in fact not sent from above...

probono I think your underhand and snide/sly suggestions were completely inappropriate and childish. I do hope you work in Tesco stacking shelves at night and are not in a position of responsibility...

probono · 26/02/2010 07:57

Cory, I know you've hinted you think the op is lying, because she has criticised the teacher's Amazon wishlist. But I read the op again and her early posts and they ring true to me. I also disapprove of following someone around the internet but I know everybody does it nowadays and so she's not "deranged" for doing so.

Tbh whether the teacher did it or not, the thrust of this thread is that she ought to be allowed to. I think that is very wrong. Restraint is always a difficult thing to prize and now it seems it has no value at all.

Bucharest · 26/02/2010 08:00

Maybe the OP started off being riled because she doesn't want to admit her dd is badly behaved in school as the norty teacher seems to be implying?

I just googled myself and am apparently a moderately famous shoe designer.

(and my Amazon wishlist is full of sheets, duvet covers and suchlike at the mo' some good bargains to be had. Nice stuff at 80% off)

Goblinchild · 26/02/2010 08:02

So, is that restraint all round then? Or should we insist that mumsnet is a totally anonymous forum.
If one of the parents of the children I taught slagged me off and had a profile that identified her, I would be identified in turn.
And I'd have no redress unless it was through the civil courts.

probono · 26/02/2010 08:04

That's exactly what I mean? So what? A teacher slagging of her pupils on the internet? Who cares? It's funny!

probono · 26/02/2010 08:07

Would you like it, Goblinchild? Would you mind if that happened?

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