Porn

[Bubbles01]

Am I being unreasonable for getting upset that my husband keeps looking at porn?

Personally, I would have a problem. Porn gives men an unrealistic and degrading view of sex and relationships. I don't care if it makes me seem prudish because I don't see it as an acceptable thing for a married man to do. Why should it be ok for your husband to lust after another women? Is it just because he doesn't know her? What if he were doing the same over pictures of someone known to you and him? At what point does it become wrong?

What's more, I can't help but think that the women in these videos are someone's daughter/mother/sister....

If something your husband does upsets you then it's not okay. Don't get bogged down with the politics of it all, for the record I think around the corner from every porn made with 'up for it' women, is another using desperate women or women being coerced or forced, just trust your gut.

YANBU

i totally agree with Nikita, that to be a modern women or somesuch nonsense we are meant to be complicit in degrading ourselves, and supposed to support the women who choose to exploit themselves. (refer to previous thread on glamour modellng.)

tammu - me too.

also ime it kind of fecks me off that porn is the easy option access to sexual acts which i have politely declined without tmi

I don't think YABU, but I don't really think your husband is either. Perhaps he shoul dbe more considerate of your feelings, but doesn't that work both ways?

I have friends who think porn is vile and that their husband's don't watch it. What actually happens is their husbands watch it in secret.

I know my husband has looked at porn, and occasionally still does if he or I am away or something. He's not blatant about it, but I usually ask him, he says if he has, but he dosn't get embarrassed talking about it. He doesn't like talking about the fact he masturbates either though. (whether watching porn or not!) It doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's not a 'me' substitute, he doesn't prefer it to me an dhe isn't obsessed with it. If it's something he likes atching and it doesn't affact me, why woudl I care?!

well nicky like it or not....dont particularly care,fact is,its same kinda thing.....if one person dislikes the other doing something,then its likely that they'l do it anyway,in secret!!

you cant control what men like.

Find some free time and settle down to Literotica it's porn stories! You can choose your preferences until you find something that floats your boat. Then you may understand why he watches porn.

Nah, Three, if I hated dh doing something or if he hated me doing something, we'd stop.

Consideration for others.

Well, not just 'others', the most important person in your life!

i'm not proposing censorship but I'd argue that you probably can control what men like. we are malleable creatures and unfortunately porn is helping to make men like and expect something very unrealistic. (as the fashion industry has made women believe it is desireable to be flesh-free.)

I feel like I've been lured here under false pretenses but now I'm here:-

YANBU if he's knowingly upsetting you he should stop.

Threeblonde what a simplistic thing to say..

"if one person dislikes the other doing something,then its likely that they'l do it anyway,in secret!!"

Possibly not, if your relationship has any traces of mutual respect and trust.

Second Coming, i agree that you cannot stop men from watching porn, some will, some won't, that's life. However, if your husband/partner is doing it and you are not happy with that, I don't think you should pretend that you are.

If you really are cool with it great. But if you are not cool about it, but pretend that you are just to keep the peace, well then you do have low self esteem, because you are unable to assert yourself to your dh/dp.

No you are not being unreasonable. I could not respect anyone who watches porn. Unless someone would be happy for their daughter/sister/mother etc to take part in similar activities then what makes it OK for them to watch someone elses daughter/sister/mother etc?

I thought I was watching people make an easy living.

lol nikita....well it seeems its whats happening here!! and not the first time judging by the amount of times the same thing crops up in relationships section!!

With you on this KerryMumbles, although I'm not really sure where the local brothel is.