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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my dh giving ds3.4 chocolate spread sandwich?

114 replies

eggontoast · 19/02/2010 16:34

My point of view: sandwiches are usually for lunch. Lunch should be nutritious. Chocolate and sweets are for treats a few times a week. I don't want to encourage son to eat sweet sandwich fillings as may put him off ham,cheese etc. He is quite a fussy eater as it is.

His pov - not asked as I am biting my tongue. Should I mention it or just leave it be?

Anger now subsiding having vented a little on here... thank goodness for mn rants that may cause volcanoes to erupt in rl!

OP posts:
D0G · 19/02/2010 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

redskyatnight · 19/02/2010 16:37

Surely the choc spread sandwich counts as a treat then? A 3.4 year old should be able to work out that lunch = ham/cheese/nutritious sandwich, choc sandwich = sneaky yummy treat from Daddy.

Clayhead · 19/02/2010 16:38

Not a battle worth figthing IMHO!!

waitingforbedtime · 19/02/2010 16:38

Ds is a fussy eater. I occasionally make him chocolate spread on toast. Being too militant about food, good or bad, makes fussy eaters worse imo.

Clayhead · 19/02/2010 16:38

or fighting

MaggieMaeve · 19/02/2010 16:38

I do it every now and then.. even for school!!

mumto2andnomore · 19/02/2010 16:38

I would leave it,its fine.

MoChan · 19/02/2010 16:38

I wouldn't get cross about it but I'd calmly and reasonably ask my OH not to do it again...

rainbowinthesky · 19/02/2010 16:40

I would have thought a chocolate spread sandwich is probably healthier than a ham sandwich but happy to be corrected.

SilveryMoon · 19/02/2010 16:40

At least your dh remembered to feed ds
Mine doesn't always remember that

If it really bothers you, tell him, but I'd be prepared for him to roll his eyes at you tbh.

mazzystartled · 19/02/2010 16:40

let it go unless he is regularly sprinkling his path with haribo and chocolate drops

it's a one off, it won't be a habit

(know what you mean however - i do most of the feeding and parenting in this house and try v hard to keep it healthy - DH has the kids for half an hour and they are on the brown stuff)

alarkaspree · 19/02/2010 16:41

As long as it wasn't his actual lunch, I think it's fine.

Presumably as you have chocolate spread in the house you consider it acceptable to eat in some circumstances. So would you have been happy if it had just been spread on one piece of bread?

belgo · 19/02/2010 16:44

YABU.

It's a staple part of a child's diet in Belgium; my dh grew up on them according to my mil. My children eat them in school.

muggglewump · 19/02/2010 16:47

YABU.
It's chocolate spread, not crack cocaine.

Lunch is food, and if it's shite food so what, so long as it's not every day and I'm guessing it's not if your DS has made it to 3.4 and this has only just happened.

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 16:48

No, I don't really like the idea of chocolate spread in the house, dh came shopping and it 'fell' into the trolly without our knowledge .

I just don't want it to cause battles at lunch time if I say 'here's your cheese sandwich' which he usually eats as long as it is cut into small fingers(!) and son replies - I want chocolate sandwich followed by who knows what!

I don't mind if it is a treat, I just don't want son to think it is normal lunch.

I just got caught and for your information, those who advised not to bring it up.... you were right - hubby pissed off that it pisses me of that he gave him it. Annoying really, because I was not going to bring it up and was just going to turn a blind eye!

Never mind, I will just turn a blind eye and not mention it again. [I really did not want to annoy hubby over this so now I feel crap.]

OP posts:
Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 16:50

silverymoon - your partner has obviously had anger management lessons, unlike my lovely, rather less roll the eye's type hubby .

OP posts:
SilveryMoon · 19/02/2010 16:51

EOT Don't feel crap about annoying your dh. It's not your fault your comment pissed him off, although I wouldn't have bothered mentioning it myself, it's still not reason enough to get really annoyed unless you pick at him over everything he does and he can never win.
He is now being UR.

Aussieng · 19/02/2010 16:52

Tell your DH that most people said YABU or to chill out - men usually get cheered up thinking they were right

MmeBlueberry · 19/02/2010 16:52

Did you buy chocolate spread? If so, it is fair game.

If you don't want DS to have it, don't buy it.

If you can't trust DH to feed your children properly, then make it all yourself.

Is your DS your precious first born?

MarineIguana · 19/02/2010 16:52

I wouldn't mind. He's 3, not 6 months! I might say something like "Wow you lucky boy, what a treat!" to reinforce that it wasn't everyday lunch food IYSWIM - but I'd also like to see him enjoy it.

I think it's one of the ways dads can have their own special relationship with their DC too, when they give them different food from one's own healthful efforts. When I'm out, DP and DS have scary frankfurters and neon mustard that I would never buy in a million years, but it's their special thing.

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 16:53

mazzystartled - that's what I try, to keep things as healthy as poss and reasonable treats are OK. Thats why it bothered me.

I should chill out and give wondermum a break: he brushes his teeth and is nice and slim and full of beans... so what if he hardly eats any meat, ... I could go on... he'll grow out of it.

I just need to remember that fillings or false teeth are not that bad, if worst comes to worst and his teeth do rot from the odd treats.(it is very hard to be sarcastic in type)

OP posts:
Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 16:55

aussieng - lol!!

OP posts:
activate · 19/02/2010 16:56

what about jam and honey - are they also not allowed, what about for breakfast
I think you're being ridiculous

and I bet it was nutella which has nuts in it - so you've got protein and dairy all in one plus carbs - good balance

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 19/02/2010 16:56

rainbow - on what basis would you think that a chocolate spread sandwich would be healthier than ham?

frogetyfrog · 19/02/2010 16:58

Its a bit of chocolate spread for goodness sake - probably better than ham which in many cases is not that healthy at all. My dh would think that i was being awful if I got onto him about what he gave dc to eat - he is a grown up after all with his own opinions on what to feed HIS children. As I would be hacked off if he told me. It would be different if he was giving them cadburys cream eggs followed by smarties for lunch. Even in the 70s I know loads of people who were raised on choc. spread sandwiches (I was one of them) and we are all fine and I eat brilliantly now - every bit of veg going.