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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my dh giving ds3.4 chocolate spread sandwich?

114 replies

eggontoast · 19/02/2010 16:34

My point of view: sandwiches are usually for lunch. Lunch should be nutritious. Chocolate and sweets are for treats a few times a week. I don't want to encourage son to eat sweet sandwich fillings as may put him off ham,cheese etc. He is quite a fussy eater as it is.

His pov - not asked as I am biting my tongue. Should I mention it or just leave it be?

Anger now subsiding having vented a little on here... thank goodness for mn rants that may cause volcanoes to erupt in rl!

OP posts:
frogetyfrog · 19/02/2010 18:51

Silverymoon - I am like you and hope to god I get it right with my children. But when dd1 was young I was fussy about what she ate - organic this, organic that, restricted sweets etc. Not too over the top, but really concious about what she was getting. I dont know why I did it as I knew deep down it wasnt right for us. Then dd2 came and she got more treats and less control, then dd3 came and she has had none of my food control and pretty much takes what she wants. Maybe coincidental but dd1 was the one who craved sweets, choc etc the most and was quite possessive about it. DD3 is very unpossessive and always shares her treats out without thinking about it (probably because she knows there are more whenever she wants them!) A couple of years ago, dh and I decided to stop controlling treats - if dds ask for choc spread sandwich they get it more often than not, if they desire chocolate and it is available, they get it within reason (if within a couple of hours of lunch or dinner we say no but no to any food). At EAster we had had a dreadful time with DD1 wanting choc every day for ages until her eggs used up. From the date of experiment she could eat all of the eggs on easter morning if she liked. This year we still have eggs from easter 09 on shelves in their bedrooms. I believe that because the pressure if off and the excitment of having something that is restricted has been lifted, then part of the desire has gone. They are now just as likely to ask for an apple as choc. They seem more able to think what they really want rather than treats. Today we went out and they all had a treat in town. DD3 ate half of hers and then said she was full and binned it. I hope that I am not being naive and of course it is not perfect - and of course there are times when we have to say no. What I really want is that by the time they are at high school where they can go out to the shop and choose their own lunch, they will get something nutritious as they are hungry, knowing that they can have choc etc at home if they still want it.

HappySeven · 19/02/2010 18:59

As a child we always had a hot meal in the middle of the day and then a bread and butter tea (with jam, choc spread etc) and cake at teatime. I was a v fussy eater and pretty much survived on the jam sandwiches. I admit it's probably not the best diet but we never had crisps or particularly fatty food and for what it's worth I rarely choose to eat jam sandwiches these days (apart from weekends visiting my parents!) I wouldn't worry, I can see it's a habit you don't want to create but once in a while won't do any harm and if it's the spread with hazelnuts it might even be good for him. Not sure you could say the same for my golden syrup sandwiches...

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 19:28

Thanks for those sticking up for me; coupleofk that sums up how I felt about the incident. Thanks to those who helped me to see the other side of the coin.

I am not reading any more posts now because I am off to indulge in crappy TV. How healthy!

OP posts:
HappySeven · 19/02/2010 19:56

Eggontoast, I just wanted to say sorry for not reading all the posts before posting myself - lazy, I know. I didn't mean to have a go (hope it didn't come across like that) just wanted to say "don't worry, it's not a big deal". Hope you enjoy the crappy TV!

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 21:48

happyseven - did not come across to me as having a go at all, just your opinion and some supportive advice that is true enough and helpful.

If I post in AIBU then, I expect to be told by at least half of the posters, that I am!

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Romanarama · 19/02/2010 22:09

Ham is unhealthy because it's full of nitrates, and ham/salami/that sort of meat and also i think smoked foods have been quite conclusively demonstrated to be carcinogenic (dunno by whom and when 'cos have forgotten but I read a lot about this with interest a couple of years ago when lived in Italy and ate loads of prosciutto like everyone else.)

I now buy ham very, very rarely. Nutella, however, is always in rich supply in our house, though it's mostly me and dh who eat it. The kids aren't that bothered.

Btw I don't think it's easy to make your kids crave things and hate things. Kids are very quirky about food in their own ways. Just give them things they like, and make sure they witness people (like you) eating fruit and veg, even if they're not that keen themselves so they realise it's normal behaviour.

MaggieMaeve · 19/02/2010 22:37

that's very true frogety, my dc begs and begs for treats all the time, and on christmas day i wanted to give her one thing from her selection box. in the chaos i ended up agreeing to let her have the whole box and ration it herself, and I think she still has it in her room and there is something left in it. I was shocked.

going to cut back on the ham sandwiches though!!!!

Melody4 · 19/02/2010 22:48

Agree with Froggetyfrog - my ds1 also sees treats as the forbidden fruit and craves for more. My other 3 are v relaxed, eat healthily and share treats - probably due to my fussiness with ds1 and my relaxedness with the others.

seeker · 19/02/2010 22:53

So why was there chocolate spread in your house?

And why is chocolate spread less healthy than crap ham?

seeker · 19/02/2010 22:54

6h, and what right have you got to be annoyed at the choices your child's father makes while he is in his care? Un;ess they are actively dangerous, of course. Which this one isn't.

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 23:07

PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE NOW UNLESS YOU HAVE READ WHOLE THREAD. I HAVE STEPPED AWAY FROM THE VERY UNEXPECTED FIREWORKS!

The answers to a lot of the questions asked here are on earlier. Please stop posting it is doing my hazel NUT in. there is no emotion for this.

Please read the whole thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 23:08

ham is made from scratch in my oven from a shank. Now and again for a treat. Son does not like many sources of protein's.

OP posts:
CillySuntIsFecked · 19/02/2010 23:11

I think you should get a grip, it is chocolate spread for crying out loud. It isn't going to kill him.

Everything in moderation.

CillySuntIsFecked · 19/02/2010 23:12

Ooops, didnt read the whole thread, or you second to last reply!

CoupleOfKooks · 19/02/2010 23:12

oh eggontoast, you will not post on AIBU unless you want a bunfight next time, i hope?
it;s brutal in here, come away and talk about shoes or something

supersalstrawberry · 19/02/2010 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CillySuntIsFecked · 19/02/2010 23:23

It is yummy on toast

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 23:26

I wrote about AIBU earlier. The post is long. I dont expect everyone to read it now, but please refrain from posting unless you do, unless you dont mind sending me crazy that is!!!

I should avoid looking, but I feel mean if you start a thread to not answer questions. But, answering questions I have already answered, is a little annoying now. And, I have already backed off, backed down, changed opinion, begged, pleaded to be left alone..... and you still badger me. Good old mn, you can always count on people telling you the truth and letting you have it full throttle.

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Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 23:28

Something that luckily does not really happen in rl. People are much much more careful with their opinions, which is a little limiting if you want to hear the truth.

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Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 23:29

But nice if you dont want a fist fight!

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CillySuntIsFecked · 19/02/2010 23:31

Some people would say that in rl too

And some people have the thread set so they actually see your last post, well, erm last so they wouldn't know you have said to leave it.

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 23:34

It's OK, I understand not reading whole thread, just seeing a post and typing away. It's just the questions that bug me a bit when I have taken time to answer earlier. And, I really cannot be bothered to go there. But in rl, would never ignore anyone, so try not to on here ifyswim.

I am a non confrontational person in rl and quickly back off if things get heated. I try on here, but it is much harder to get away from 850,000 mn ttrs. !!!

OP posts:
Alambil · 19/02/2010 23:35

DS got a pot of cadburys choc spread the other day - ate half of it with a spoon when I was upstairs getting dressed (I did NOT know he did this til 2 days later!)

We buy a pot once every few months; he doesn't ask for it in between... I think that's a happy medium

It is only acceptible on proper thick slices though or else it's just too messy!

ToccataAndFudge · 19/02/2010 23:36

fgs eggontoast - calm down women - not everyone has the time/inclination to read a long thread before posting.

FWIW - my DS's regularly have jam sandwiches as part of their lunch..........and a slice of ham, .......

I had a banana toastie for lunch today - was blardy gorgeous

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 23:36

I actually KNEW I was being unreasonable when I started the thread. The whole thread explains it all perfectly. but the thread keeps re starting based on the same questions that were answered earlier. Like a never ending story.

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