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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at my dh giving ds3.4 chocolate spread sandwich?

114 replies

eggontoast · 19/02/2010 16:34

My point of view: sandwiches are usually for lunch. Lunch should be nutritious. Chocolate and sweets are for treats a few times a week. I don't want to encourage son to eat sweet sandwich fillings as may put him off ham,cheese etc. He is quite a fussy eater as it is.

His pov - not asked as I am biting my tongue. Should I mention it or just leave it be?

Anger now subsiding having vented a little on here... thank goodness for mn rants that may cause volcanoes to erupt in rl!

OP posts:
Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 17:28

This thread is really going places I never really imagined it would.

OP posts:
pithyslicker · 19/02/2010 17:33

eggontoast

You could always change your name to:

eastereggontoast

Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 17:33

got to go now, to prepare a meal, that I consider to be well balanced and full of nutritional benefits. Then I am going to give son a handful of wine gums afterwards, may even have a few myself, and, on the same day he had chocolate spread treat .

I really did not anticipate this exploding though. Naive as I am.

OP posts:
Original poster
eggontoast · 19/02/2010 17:34

lol pithyslicker. Really going now though.

OP posts:
TottWriter · 19/02/2010 17:34

Just a suggestion, if your fussy eater does begin to sway towards 'sweet' sarnies, and turns down the more savoury fillings, try giving him banana sandwiches as an alternative to chocolate or a refused lunch. Or mix some peanut butter in with the nutella (allergies notwithsatanging, of course), to add some more nutrient. I can almost guarantee that he won't notice, and banana sandwiches were such a staple of my childhood that it still surprises me when people give me odd looks.

At least that way there are some healthier fillings in there if his fussines gets irritating. (Though hopefuly it won't!)

Also, have you tried him on egg or tuna and sweetcorn? I can't say I've ever much liked ham or cheese sandwiches (probably because my mother was a bit of a skinflint when it came to ham - we got the sliced 'chicken roll' in value packs of 100 slices).

upahill · 19/02/2010 17:34

Oh I love chocolate sanswiches ( I like golden syrup buttied as well) I've not had one for AGES.

Really not understanding your rage. I'm completly baffled tbh egg... (Your name has got me going now I fancy fried egg on toast with brown sauce and lots of pepper!)

GypsyMoth · 19/02/2010 17:35

dad was looking after child...dads choice,he's the parent too....why should you rule what he eats? ds does not belong to you..

TheFoosa · 19/02/2010 17:40

will have to go and buy Nutella now, have a craving

katiepotatie · 19/02/2010 17:41

one choc spread sandwich once in a while won't do him any harm, at least he ate something, thats good for a fussy eater ...no?

pigletmania · 19/02/2010 17:42

YABU leave it its only a one off thing not something on a regular basis.

Astrid28 · 19/02/2010 17:44

I don' think you should be too hard on him. Dh introduced DD to the sickeningly sweet world of chocolate spread on toast for breakfast, turns out he likes it too

I just rolled my eyes, said thanks for that, and he laughed. Now every day I just tell DD she can have it again on Saturday!

Morloth · 19/02/2010 17:55

DS had nutella crepes for dinner the other night, but it is OK because I gave them to him and not DH.

This how women end up doing every single thing for the kids. They micromanage to the point where no-one else even wants to try anymore.

Astrid28 · 19/02/2010 18:12

Very true Morloth! TBH as long as DD eats something at the moment, I'm happy!

Also just read the post about banana sandwiches! I loved them as a child, but it brought back memories of my sisters favourite........sugar sandwiches! bleurgh!

Which were made by our Mum with love! (and no regard to dental health!)

frogetyfrog · 19/02/2010 18:13

Silverymoon - are you still there. I too wonder about that as I was brought up with food as an issue and have problems with control (although thank god I love healthy stuff so its not too bad). Having lived with serious eating disorders around me, I do think if food is made an issue at a young age it becomes an obsession. The people I know who have no issues with food and are a healthy weight etc (without the need to control or diet) are two of my friends who were never restricted on sweets etc - food was never controlled or restricted in any way and was never used as a power tool later in life. Although I am no expert (but maybe in real terms I am having spent a great deal of my life dealing with serious eating problems in others) I worry that all this empthasis on healthy eating and weight is going to end up with a whole generation with eating problems. IMO there should be huge publicity about the general unfitness of us all including our children - more exercise and obesity would be less of a problem. If there are problems with high fat, artificial ingredients and high salt in foods etc, then the manufacturers should be made to sort it and not the customer. Making people obsessed with what they eat will backfire I think.

SilveryMoon · 19/02/2010 18:19

I agree frogetyfrog.
The thing is, is I am unsure how best to treat my ds's in regards to sweets etc. I don't want them to think sweets and chocolate are something really special iyswim.
I'd hate fpr them to end up like me.

I don't know what the answer is though. All this publicity around food at the moment has got people thinking more about it, whether that's a good thing or not will have to be seen.
The thing is, it's not just about healthy eating is it? I eat pure crap, but am active and manage just about to stay in shape.
But I don't know what I am talking about at all!

choufleur · 19/02/2010 18:23

I used to have sugar sandwuches, golden syrup on crackers, crisp sandwiches (all horrid to me now but loved them as a child).

It's just a chocolate spread sandwich. It's not the end of the world, so long as it's not the only thing he eats.

DS has eaten crap today - doesn't matter. he'll balance it out another day.

Chandon · 19/02/2010 18:24

agree with frog.

I think choc spread is fine, maybe not every day.

At home we always had a variety of things, sometimes white bread, sometimes brown. Sometimes choc, sometimes ham or cheese (I like all three equally!).

My parents thought food should taste nice and be fresh, with enough treats thrown in.

Nothing obsessive.

We are all normal weight, and have never really dieted.

My DC have choc paste, sometimes three days in a row, then not for a month.

Contrary to popular belief, it is NOT the case that when kids have a taste of the sweet stuff, they will be ADDICTED, and crave it forever more.

Can´t see why you get so fussed!

pointysayhiphip · 19/02/2010 18:25

Leave it. It don't mattah.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 19/02/2010 18:31

ohhh nutella sandwiches can be part of a balanced diet, just make sure he has one in each hand!

Bumperlicious · 19/02/2010 18:32

Ok, you can leave the OP alone now, she has relented and said she was being unreasonable, and in fairness she was just gauging a reaction and didn't badger her DH about it. Sometime you just need a little perspective.

CoupleOfKooks · 19/02/2010 18:32

I get what you mean
it's like if your ds ate a really good healthy breakfast every morning, eg he liked a cereal that didn't have sugar or whatever on it, and enjoyed it, and someone came along and said "i know, today i'm going to put GOLDEN SYRUP on your cereal"

it won't kill him but it doesn't really help with your plan to have ds eat mostly healthily, does it
he'll almost certainly ask for it again - and the shine has been taken off the previously enjoyed healthy cereal because it now hasn't got golden syrup on it
it's unnecessary, he wasn't expecting it, needing it, or wanting it and it's a bit of a crap treat really

serenity · 19/02/2010 18:41

My DCs learnt about the joys of Chocolate spread sandwiches from my BF. I don't have a problem with them exactly but I do agree they just don't feel like lunch (strangely enough, have no issues at all with it on toast for breakfast) We have a compromise now - they have to have bananas in too. Hence DD had had a toasted chocolate spread and banana sandwich for lunch, and I didn't get twitchy.

taffetacat · 19/02/2010 18:43

ooooh this is topical for me. DS (6) has a very sweet tooth. DD doesn't. They have very different palates. DS asks for jam /choc spread sandwiches every day in his school lunchbox. He has spent a large part of what seems like his life complaining that all his friends at school have jam or choc spread sandwiches in their lunchboxes, plus biscuits. " You are a rubbish mummy! I hate you."

Ain't NO WAY he's getting nutella sandwiches. End. Of.

Its a slippery slope........

coldtits · 19/02/2010 18:43

Some things matter and some things don't. This is one of those that doesn't.

bandgeek · 19/02/2010 18:46

I've finally given in on this and my DC get chocolate spread sandwiches every now and again...tbh DD (3.10) can take it or leave it by DS (nearly 5)loves them!