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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu thinking teens should not do this

235 replies

Tiredmumno1 · 17/02/2010 17:15

Out with my two youngsters today and we were walking home from town down some back paths when i come across a massive group of teens, one says to me have you got 50p, i said no, as they walked off all i could hear was yeah i bet you havent. Why the hell cant they ask the parents i dont even know them. Its so intimidating.

OP posts:
probono · 18/02/2010 13:00

She asked "am I being unreasonable in thinking teens should not do this"

apparently, she is, according to some people

shockers · 18/02/2010 13:05

Cheeky buggers!

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 13:08

probono..you are reading the thread wrongly

some of us are saying she over-reacted to what was a very mild form of teenage bad behaviour

note the word I use bad

it isn't OK, it isn't good, I would be unhappy if my teenagers did it

janeite · 18/02/2010 13:13

I would be furious if my children did this. I am also confident (or as confident as one can be) that my children would NOT do this.

However, from the OP it sounds like she walked past them, one of them called out and then was sarcastic. They didn't 'approach her in a pack' or anything like that. They were being pillocks - that was all. They were standing around, she walked past them and one of them was being an idiot/opportunistic. NOT begging, not wilfully intimidating, just stupid teenage bravado. They would almost certainly have been astonished if she had given them 50p.

And of course they shouldn't 'do this' but I do plenty of things I shouldn't too - yesterday I had a muffin AND bread and butter pudding for example, even though my parents taught me better than that.

ShinyAndNew · 18/02/2010 13:19

We get this a lot in our town. I always answer "Have you got a fag/ten bob" (50p apparantly ) with "Yes I have thank you"

They then wait, expectantly, only to watch me walk away. Well they never ask if they can have a fag/50p, just if I have them

I am nice to people who don't have quite enough money in shops/at the bus stop though.

probono · 18/02/2010 13:37

I'm not reading the thread wrongly at all -- simple question, simple answer. It's been sort of twisted into "you're a big drip" and "poor teenagers".

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 13:44

and you twisted it a little bit further by implying that those of us who didn't see it as a massive misdemeanour on behalf of those particular teenagers, would be quite happy to let our own teenagers do exactly as they like with no consequences...

OrmRenewed · 18/02/2010 13:48

Well it would be a very short and uninteresting thread probono. Everyone would have said:

'No yanbu in thinking teens shouldn't do that'

in fact a bit pointless really. This way it's much more interesting.

thesecondcoming · 18/02/2010 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

probono · 18/02/2010 13:51

Yes, the implication was definitely that she was being unreasonable: so it's a natural progression that those who implied that she was being unreasonable that "teens should not do this" therefore think it's ok for teens to "do this".

I really thought that. Of course. I really thought that if people believe there's no problem with this, why would they stop their own children doing it? Isn't that obvious? It's nice if it's not the case, jolly good and all that, but you can't deny it's the obvious follow on.

OrmRenewed · 18/02/2010 13:53

No that doesn't follow. I have no problem with teens having tattoos and shaved heads. I wouldn't want my DC to do that.

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 13:57

it doesn't follow probono

you are doing 2+2=5

probono · 18/02/2010 14:00

Fair play but there wasn't any disapproval of the behaviour so how is anyone supposed to know you really, secretly, inside, without telling anyone, do disapprove of the behaviour? If you were going to guess, you'd guess along the lines of the expressed opinions, not against them.

Too much of the old "stand up for yourself" to a picked on kid, for my liking.

probono · 18/02/2010 14:02

no i'm not anyfucker, you skipped the disapproval and went straight onto don't be a drip

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 14:06

you are paraphrasing massively there, pb

do you not think "stand up for yourself" is good advice in this particular situation ?

what would you advocate...avoid back paths, avoid teenagers standing around if they number more than two, don't go out of the house...what? or lets get this in context, yeah ?

ImSoNotTelling · 18/02/2010 14:08

I think stand up for yourself is potentially dangerous advice TBH.

People should follow their instincts, and if something makes you feel uncomfortable, avoid, get away quick etc I reckon.

CantSupinate · 18/02/2010 14:10

I remember as a teen asking random strangers for change .
I don't think I ever asked when roaming in large packs (I think even obtuse me would have realised how intimidating that would be).

I'd tear a strip off DC if I caught them begging, tough, maybe they'll have better sense than I did.

Where I used to live it was quite common for random teenagers to jump out from their little gangs and come spit at you. Just to show how tough they were, I guess .

ImSoNotTelling · 18/02/2010 14:11

We can't all be hard arses you know. I once failed to go down and talk to a gang of youths who were kicking footballs around under where I lived late at night. I felt like a real wuss TBH but there were about 10 of them, all young men, and one of me, and I was scared. People do get scared, sometimes. And beign scared is also a reasonable reaction to being approached by one of a gang of people in a deserted area asking for money.

probono · 18/02/2010 14:14

must say I completely disagree with you but I do feel we are in danger of becoming a bit up ourselves if we continue to say no I'm right I'm right is not is not etc

so I hereby determine that we are both right except i am right

well anyway anyway anyway doesn't matter that much

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 14:16

that is a different scenario, ISNT

I am trying to stick to the particular situation of the OP

all my replies have been in response to that but it seems they may have been translated into something else entirely...

Original poster
Tiredmumno1 · 18/02/2010 14:18

Like i said i was down a back path, with no one else about, they even stood there staring at me til i was out of sight which unnerved me more. It is a notorious mugging spot, but to get to town its the only way to go

OP posts:
ImSoNotTelling · 18/02/2010 14:19

And beign scared is also a reasonable reaction to being approached by one of a gang of people in a deserted area asking for money.

That's the scenario in the OP though isn't it? I woud have been nervous/uncomfortable/scared if I was the OP too, how scared would depend on how threatening the general demeanour of the people was.

We don't know if the "teens" she was talking about were petting kittens and singing songs about sunbeams and things, or whether they were posturing in a deliberately intimidating way.

Bonsoir · 18/02/2010 14:23

My vote for best answer goes to LaurieFairyCake! Very inspired

GetOrfMoiLand · 18/02/2010 14:25

No, teens should not do this, but eldery people should not bash me with their trolleys, pissed blokes shouldn't wolf whistle and 8 year old girls shouldn't laugh at my shoes (all happened to me in the last week).

Yes, behaviour is off but nowt to be intimidated by.

OP is a bit in her ickle wickle toddler world and is frightened by teens I think.

AnyFucker · 18/02/2010 14:25

I agree, bonsoir

standing up for yourself by stealth...fantastic

MN should delete all subsequent posts, tbh

this is just silly