to want to slap the girl on 'one born every minute'?

[HoopsIsGettingMassive]

in the title really, she is really making a meal of it!!

I was 18 when I had Ds1, and DH was 18 too. I had an EMCS as DS1 was breech and I had gone into labour at 35 weeks. DH was there while they injected me with a spinal, sat with me while Ds1 was being born. I was 21 when DD1 was born and again DH was there all through the labour and then rushed upstairs with the nurses when she was taken to SCBU.

being young is no excuse, Sam's partner was scared, but should have been there

monkeyfacegrace i think you should ask for your post to be deleted

offensive

SparklyGothKat (love your name!), it might be that Sam's mum was a better choice to go in - Sam had paniked every time she left for a fag, she clearly wanted her mum with her.

I SWEAR that if men gave birth they would have developed some type of painkiller that alleviates pain and allows the birth to progress. We have put people on the moon, yet have failed to develop this! WTF!!!!

I am heartened that the majority of this thread have the utmost sympathy for both women, as I did.

I am also in the pregnant with #2 camp. I think we are probably the most affected as (a) we know what its like and (b) we know its coming.

I honestly spend at least 1 hour a day worrying about it, and I am only 14 weeks!!!!!!

Quite why I watch this bloody programme I dont know,torturing myself.

I think Sam's mum was great actually - a bit of a rock. Sometimes as a parent don't we all try to down play our children's pain somewhat? As in "Yes darling I know it hurts but come on, pick yourself up"? Sometimes you need that to get through difficult times and it doesn't betray a lack of empathy imo.

You could see the real anguish in Sam's mum's face when Sam went into theatre, and the way she hugged the father made me blub. As did the scenes of Sam, Ed and their baby. What a lovely little family they were. I don't recall them saying anything, but her labour reminded me of mine and I wonder if the baby was back-to-back or something.

I loved Joy - poor, ravenous thing
She explained at the start that she was experiencing something akin to PMT and I know that if I'd been in her shoes I'd have been miserab;e and complaining, too.

well, wasn't quite expecting such a flaming!! I have to give birth myself to my first baby in 6 weeks time and have prepared myself as much as I can.........I really hope that if I get like that my Mother gives me a slap and tells me to get a grip of myself, she was hystrical(sp) and needed calming down, people seem to forget that we women are actually designed to have babies, this is the whole reason we are put on this earth......

I'm scared to death, I would be lying if I said I wasn't but I have made my bed and I have to lie in it....ie I got pregnant and that means baby has to come in the world somehow!!

It is widely know that midwives are overstretched and her keep pressing her bell was really annoying, her DP was a wet lettuce and needed a wake-up call.....

Maybe I am unsypampathic but hey, you have to be prepared!!

Just you wait Hoops

You won't be quite so smug once you've been through it yourself.

OMG Hoops - you haven't even given birth yet and you are judging this poor woman.

Come back when you have had your baby - I think your views may well change.

Lololol that this thread was started by someone who hasn't even given birth!

Oh hoops so you haven't actually given birth yet? Yikes prepare to be flamed like a Burger King whopper

I remember screaming at DP to get me to the hospital for an epidural (was at home for planned home birth) and threatening to leave him if he didn't

He calmly reminded me of all the reasons I had for wanting a hb and promised to get the midwife out asap.

I'm so so glad he did.

I wasn't being harsh! Don't single me out as harsh when others on here have absolutely assassinated the girl! I said we should cut Sam some slack. She was in a terrible state. I was just very uncomfortable when she called her unborn child a fucking bitch.

And rightly so Vivia.

Screaming at husbands fine during labour. Calling your unborn baby a 'fucking bitch' absolutely appalling.

I lost any sympathy I had for her after that.

If the adrenalin starts to pump all blood is directed to the vital organs, the uterus isn't one of them and labour becomes 10 times harder. IMO that's all first time mums need to know, keep calm it'll be fine.

LOL Hoops you know nothing of which you speak.

I had an easy peasy ride and was more than capable of seeing that that girl was terrified and way out of her depth.

As the others have said, come back when you have been there.

yes I fully intend to!! I know I know very presumptious of me, but at least gave everyone something to talk about!!!

Hoops - I haven't read all of the posts on this thread, but some of the opinions have really angered me.

Of course you have no idea what your labour's going to be like the first time you do it....and I agree with the comments that these programmes do nothing to promote confidence in women's abilities to give birth. You are right - it is what our bodies are designed to do - and staying as calm as possible goes a long way to helping you deliver your baby safely. Sam was a frightened young girl who needed advice and support - and not to be lay flat on her back on a bed at 2cm dilated screaming uncontrollably and hyperventilating whilst gasping at the gas and air. Part of me also wanted to give her a slap at first - but more of me wanted to get in that delivery room with her and help her manage her pain in a more effective way.

I wish you lots of luck with your impending birth.

thank you detox, you are told at ante-natal not to lie on your back and move as much as possible, this is what I mean about being prepared,I think it was the state she was in that caused her to have a CS because she was so scared and tense that the baby got destressed toatally avoidable I think.

Hoops, one of the things you'll realise when you've been through it is that birth is a really personal thing and can give rise to very strong emotions.

It's a bit of a weird thing to trivialise in a thread like this, which is probably partly why so many people objected to what you said.

Good luck with your birth btw, I'm sure you won't be so stupid as to cause yourself to have a section given how well prepared you are

We will never know whether baby Brooke would have been delivered naturally if Sam had been better supported in early labour and not got herself so worked up and terrified. It is entirely possible that the baby would have ended up being delivered by a cs even if Sam had been sat calmly meditating in a pool listening to whale music However - the point that I think Hoops is trying to make (albeit from the perspective of someone who has never felt a contraction - yet!) is that Sam should have been supported to cope better which in turn may have helped her deliver in a less traumatic and stressful manner.

Perhaps Sam was scared and tense because her labour was bloody painful. Perhaps labour was so bloody painful because Brooke wasn't ideally positioned. Perhaps Brooke was in distress because she wasn't ideally positioned and the birth was taking too long?

As detox says, we will never know. I don't feel comfortable with the idea that Brooke being in distress was somehow Sam's fault, because she'd not read Michel Odent tbh.

Actually the OP didn't mention the lack of support, she just said that Sam should have prepared herself better and not bothered the midwives so much.

She hasn't said anything about Sam being the 'wronged party' that I've read though perhaps it's been buried in this long thread.

hoops, firstly, congratulations on your pregnancy!

I can understand why you want to feel women are designed to have babies and so on, but some women just aren't. Someone on this thread or a similar one said she found out after her labour and unplanned c-section that she had a twisted pelvis and would not have been able to give birth naturally. Others simply seem to experience pain differently.

I've not had a baby yet either and of course I'm sitting there, watching this show and smugly imagining how controlled and well-informed I will be ... but I know it's perfectly possible I will, instead, scream bloody blue murder from the first contraction right up until they give me the epidural. I do hope having a bit more knowledge than poor Sam seemed to have will help, but I can't be sure.

My take on this when watching is was that is was impossible totell (As someone who has horrendous and wonderful births) BUT

A) hewr labour may well have been excrutiating becuase of whatever it was prevented her from dilating- eg positioning, not alwats detected in easly satges, and from my own experience that can cause immensediscomfort over and aboce a 'normal'labour oreven being induced and tbh I'dbeamazed if a young woman going through that didn'tpanic. I did,I wasolderand it wasmy second.

Ormaybe she was illprepared, asa great many peopleare,for reality

But that in birth you canlabout how you damn well want, nobody ahs a right to criticise you amnd if it ends in CS then-? I'venever ahd one but its a birth and a baby.