to want to slap the girl on 'one born every minute'?

[HoopsIsGettingMassive]

in the title really, she is really making a meal of it!!

Calling your unborn baby a 'fucking bitch' absolutely appalling.

OH FFS she did not mean it!!!! she was in pain and just ranting, christ alive.

brave girl for coming backl HOOPS!!!!!

'IMO that's all first time mums need to know, keep calm it'll be fine.
'

Oh god that'd be funny if it wasn't so sad!

In a normal birth that is optimum.

But if problems- and they can originate from birthing problems, psychological issues (I rememberreadingsomething once on woman who'd been abused), hospitalinfrastructure (my bloods were lost preventing them from helping us with a CS due toriskog HELLP- can safely saya drenaline was flowing as his herat rate bottomed!)

Birth is how it is- often scary,soemtimesunpredictable, occasionally dangerous,usually something with a happy outcome

exactly porca

when birthing ds2( OP position, 44 hour labour etc on a warning for a transfer to a unit 50miles from homewith a free NICU cot) I bit DH

rationalthought simply left me

Had I done that at any other time,I would expect him to leave me; in labour I expect it to be accepted that I am not acting in the same mind.

FWIW my later births, a hosital one and a HB,werevery calm,textbook experiences of 3 hours and 35minutes and I felt compeltely in controland safe..... fear is important but sometimes the fear ispretty well placed

I didn't want to slap Sam, but I would have liked to slap her mother. Sam needed emotional support, not to be told she was being silly. She needed to be told that she was doing well, she needed to be made to feel like a Godness.

Sam's birth choices need to be respected. It is OK for Sam to choose an epidural. I had an epidural the first time I gave birth. It was brilliant.

If Sam is reading this thread, then congratulations.

I think it was pretty tame I can imagine myself saying worse!

Agree RT

and teh dad (the police officer) from the week before- Dh was at him,he was beyond horrid.

Not slapofcourse,just lecture in a firm and headmistressy fashion

Absolutey porca, re: calling her baby a bitch.

Christ, I was delirious through pain. It was only once the G&A kicked in - which only really helped once I'd started using it properly (yes I'd been shown, yes my lovely MW tried to help but somehow the pain was stopping me from inhaling it properly) - which only happened once I'd had an epidural - that I had any control whatsoever. I was in my late 20s, had been to plenty of antenatal classes and read dozens of books.

Why is it funny/sad Peachy ? Getting yourself worked up into a hysterical state won't do you any good whether it's plain sailing or an emergency general anesthetic csection, neither situation is made better by screaming your head off.

The OP who hasn't had a baby seems better informed/educated than quite a few mothers of many if you ask me.

i think that sam girl mad it worse for herself yes it agony etc, but she needed to take her mums advice and calm the fuck down.
we have all done it (well most of i am guessing) and yes its the worst pain u can imagin,but did u all find that those moments in labour where u lost control the most were more painful??

I thought Joy was hilarious and fairly calm considering. Appalling that they can't get their act together and get a lunch to the right person at the right time. Not exactly rocket science is it?
That receptionist is a complete cow. Always rolling her eyes at people and walking around drinking endless cups of tea. She is heartless.

Poor Sam. She needed someone to tell her she was doing well and supporting her and getting her into different position not laughing at her outside her room.

I am staggered at the attitudes on here on a frightened young girl in a lot of pain, its sickening.

Let's hear it for Ed though. Not the strongest brick in the wall but SOOO LOVELY at the end: "She's beautiful, just like her mother..."

Now, if only my (supposedly articulate, cultured, intelligent) DH had said that to me at the end of my labours...

Anyone in the Southampton area want to give Ed a job... They need a break...

Hoops please report back when you have actually HAD your baby, there's a dear.

I wish you a speedy and easy birth but if your baby goes into distress or there are some other complications please don;t think it was your fault.

OK Hoops, I hope this thread doesn't put the fear of God into you! Congratulations on your baby. Bear in mind that your philosophy and preparation is absolutely spot on the majority of straightforward births and you are highly likely to reap all the rewards of your hard work....good on you for doing that.

But also, please, please bear in mind that a 'good' labour (using whatever definition of good you have in mind) is the result of 80% preparation and 20% dumb luck. If the luck goes against you, all your preparation will not help, I'm afraid. The trick then is to go with the flow, take all the help you can get and aim for healthy mother and baby. Above all, afterwards, please don't judge yourself a failure for not having had a 'good' labour. It's not a competition: no one should be sitting in judgement about how we deliver our babies.

She annoyed me because she wasn't listening to any advice, but then I haven't been in that situation yet, so felt sorry for her at the same time.

I'm also aware that I'm a bit "British" about emotions, and hate noisiness. Though I imagine that'll go out of the window for me.

'Why is it funny/sad Peachy ?'

Becuase you can't control everything that easily and predict how you cawill react in any unknown.

Ampretty well informedtoo-last one wasthe whole doula / InaMay (sans gettin it on midway mind) and worked well,for me. I was petrified firsdt time perhaps becasue I did know toomuch-muterings about HELLPdn eclampsia whilst fitting scared me absolutely rigid. I'dnever suggest information shouldn't be saught or people shouldn't be reading as much as poss, but it isn't goping to solve every crisis. If that girl on one born had known evenmore about the potential outcomes of decelerations and distress she may well have become even more scared.

The key formein allmy births fromthe rotten one to the hippy final one was having faith in the support I received: I don't think Sam had good support, her dp seemed nice but petrified, her Mum intolerant. Goodmidwifery support and my DH got me through mine,with the addition of my Doula. When pethidine was whipping my mind off and everything elsewasawry I knew they woudln't let me down. I wonder if she had the same faith?

Indeed, in my last labour it camevery closeto ds4 being delviered by the doula and DH, and I didn'tfeel overly scared about that.MW wason her way and I'd have nevcer chosen it but that was true safety i think,knowing that whether my body did go awry or whatever there were two people fighting for me. With ds1 the Obst called me over anxious (the raised BP was in fact preeclampsia),and the MWs were panicking themselves in the main- it was a student that got me and a scared Dh through it.

Oh andIemant to say I think its wrong to give peopleexpectations of labour over andabove it will hurt; they are so varied that anything else much can be similar tosetting people up to fail. Yes teaching about breathing (I found it wonderful),importance offeeling in controlis fab- but there are times when you can be out of control,and telling people toexpect to be able to control it nd keep calm isn't going to do people any favours.

'Above all, afterwards, please don't judge yourself a failure for not having had a 'good' labour. It's not a competition: no one should be sitting in judgement about how we deliver our babies.
'exactly

and agreeabout Ed,and wish we could offer him a job (not that we were local), I said that to DH at the time.

I don't understand why we can't critise this girl, she behaved like a spoilt brat...and she called her unborn baby a "bitch". Every women who goes through labour will feel pain like nothing they've felt before (no matter how prepared they think they are it will still be a big shock) however not every women behaves like she did.

I didn't like her in the interview either, even her mum said she expected everything to be handed to her on a plate.

But Peachy that's the whole point you can control your reaction to anything and if you can't you are probably about 12 and your frontal lobe hasn't developed sufficiently, beyond that you can control whether you whip yourself into a complete state or not.
Plenty is out of your control but how you react is very much within your power.

Her mother summed her up for me when she said the girl expects everything to fall in her lap, including a baby no doubt, the first time Sam had an occasion to rise to and what a performance

I had very little control over my reactions in labour. I was not 12 nor is my frontal lobe under-developed. Or at least I don't think it is.

I felt sorry for Sam, and was reminded of my first labour when I would have benefitted from a midwife staying with me and helping me deal with the contractions. I'd been to lots of ante natal classes but nothing really prepares you for labour. I was frightened by the pain and tensed up as each contraction came along, which obviously made it worse. When the midwife did eventually come into the room, I got the idea in my head that I could only get one coherent sentence out and it would be either "may I have an epidural" or "could you help me change position". I asked for the epidural.

I thought Joy was perfectly reasonable in the circumstances. She found the insertion of the prostin pessaries very painful and was hungry, exhausted and frustrated. She and Fabio were lovely together, I thought.

I try very hard not to judge people from a heavily edited TV documentary (I say try - I'm not perfect). I felt so much for Sam, she was terrified. I can offer a little perspective having given birth at this hospital during filming. Locally PAH is always referred to as the baby factory. Every story from friends and colleagues (and me) is the same - you give birth on your back, with stirrups and intervention and little pain relief. It is a busy teaching hospital that cares little for all the careful research you do on birth positions, keeping active during contractions, etc. It's to get babies out with ease for the staff but it's a shocking dis-empowerment for an already scared woman.

As for consent to filming - I received a load of blurb from the production company in the summer inviting me to take part so I imagine most of the other participants did too? And they clearly had a different reaction to mine of DEAR GOD NO

And back on topic. Ultimately, expressing a wish to slap any woman during labour is just hideous really.

'I think Sam's mum was great actually - a bit of a rock.'

I read her the same way. Sam's mother had been 20 when she was born, too, and had brought her up alone. She'd explained that she'd worked, too, when Sam was growing up. That's a big juggling act.

She'd explained that Sam had gone off the rails as a teen and left school.

Yet, Sam wanted her there. If the mother were such an unsupportive bitch, they wouldn't have even had that sort of relationship.

She was there throughout. She looked terrified when they took her daughter away for the CS and she couldn't go because Sam had a GA.

Maybe she's not the sort to go to pieces and cry because of her own life.

But as a mother she certainly knew her far better than any viewer! And she did calm herself after the mother talked to her, which you need to be somewhat in order for them to do the epi, of course, since you have to sit up whilst they're doing it (and you're contracting away. Arrgggh!).

I'm glad I had my epis. In both cases, though, the labour was protracted and incredibly for a reason (back to back, baby's hand up over her ear; baby over 2lbs. larger than teh two others, cord round his neck making it hard for him to descend).

Pain is very valuable to the body. It tells you something might be quite, quite wrong.