to want to slap the girl on 'one born every minute'?

[HoopsIsGettingMassive]

in the title really, she is really making a meal of it!!

It's a long time since I gave birth and I'm so saddened by this programme if it's typical of women's experiences of the NHS.

When I had my babies in hospital (last one 27 years ago), I had at least one, sometimes 2 midwives with me at all times during labour. I was guided throughout the whole experience, told what to do and what to expect. I had to ask for pain relief, but once requested, I was given it.

As soon as my babies were born, the tea & toast was handed to me and when I'd finished that, I was gently washed and then taken to the post-natal ward where I was looked after for 4-5 days.

My whole experience was that of care. I can't understand why the receptionist in this programme is still in her job. I'm horrified at her attitude to women in labour. Leaving a woman slumped on the floor in pain and shrugging her shoulders at a diabetic woman who needs food - she doesn't deserve to work there, I sincerely hope her boss has been watching her.

I think it's typical of the whole attitude to pregnancy & birth - something to be 'got over' as quickly as possible. We had to leave work at 28 weeks and we were expected to rest until the birth (and after). It doesn't seem allowed now - work until you drop - then out of hospital after 6 hours (and I don't blame you, who'd want to stay that long in hospitals like this?) - then back to work as soon as possible. Giving birth is a huge event - overwhelming, shocking, brutal, joyful and life-changing. It should be as enjoyable and memorable (for the right reasons) as possible. I'm so shocked that our health 'care' in this country trivialises it to such an extent.

Rant over .

The pethidine relaxed me just enough to cope a little bit longer before getting too bad and asking for the epidural, which didn't bloody work properly anyway.

Well, AliGrylls I agree with you in theory, but...there are women out there who have panic attacks when they approach a hospital. From a bad labour. There are women out there who seize up with fear and shame rather than have sex and risking conception. From a bad labour. There are women out there who have serious PND and PTSD to the point where they resent their children for years. From a bad labour.

It may only be one day...but it's one day that can have a profound implication for the rest of your life.

I think the midwives thought they'd be off the hook on my nagging for an epi once they gave me that morphine.

Well, they were wrong.

I smoked a fat lot of grass in my time , I may have been stoned, but I wasn't dead.

I had come there to get an epidural and I wasn't going to give birth till I got it.

I never wanted to feel the sensation of the baby passing through the cervix again.

I felt like my bowel was being pulled out my flange with a hot poker.

I still have nightmares about that type of pain.

It gave me panic attacks for over a year.

And I was on all fours and coping and all that shit.

No, thanks! Didn't care to feel that again and especially not with a baby who turned out to be 3lbs heavier than that baby and have cord round his neck.

I got the hell uot of that hospital asap.

Too hot, overcrowded wards with everyone's damn family there all the time, only curtains around you, ward full of crying babies all fecking night, no help when you rang the bell, having to walk down a long corridor to get food at all, etc.

Screw that!

Gizmo, as you will see though I am not disagreeing with what you have said. In fact, I believe there is only a sliver of paper between our opinions.

I never disagreed with the fact that women need support during and after - to include counselling if that is what is required, which I am sure for traumatic birth experiences is what is required.

However, there are two issues which are entirely separate but also related: one is the giving birth; the other is bringing up the child. One is definitely more important than the other.

In relation to the person that this thread is about I think they are very separate issues. She had a hard experience but it wasn't traumatic and she definitely did not have a problem bonding with her baby.

hormonesnomore you described my birth experience from Sept 09 apart from the stay in hospital after, I was home the next day.

I had a 3 day labour and cannot fault the hosiptal staff once on the delivery suite, I was with a midwife at all times and pain relief when requested etc

I am lucky, I am guessing I am either in an area of reasonable midwife levels or that there were no emergancies etc when I was labouring.

"However, I am always amazed that so many women seem to go into it completely unaware and unprepared."

I've read everything there is about birth when I was pregnant, went to my Antenatal Classes. Everything. When my waters broke, I went into denial.

I noticed the meconium straight away and tried to explain it away. When I arrived at the hospital, I didn't even change into something more comfortable because I didn't expect it to happen now.

They put me onto the synto straight away, as there was no time to faff about with prostaglandins. Theoretically I should have known where I was headed. My husband certainly was fully aware.

When they offered me pain relief (co-codamol and G&A for starters), I refused, being scared of running out of options too early. That was when I was already on the drip for a couple of hours. I needed a stern talking to from my husband and the midwife to allow it, because I was getting exhausted. I still was in full blown denial. This wasn't happening to me, but somebody else. I allowed G&A and just felt sick. I don't know how long it took and how long I was completely off my face and feeling ill at the same time, but after a while they took me off the synto, gave me Meptid (no complaints from me anymore) and the friendly team of surgeons came in.

I did everything to prepare myself for giving birth, but when it happened, I just basically blanked out. I was unaware and unprepared, and I wonder whether it was some kind of shock. As with all the theoretical knowledge I had, I should have known what was happening to me.

Oddly, despite coping well after the birth, , a lot of this is coming back now, when watching this show, and as soon as I hear a CTG on there I well up.

Morriszap - have just read what you said about stephen fry midwife.

What a nasty thing to say.

hormonesnomore that birth sounds lovely. Even 13 years ago, my birth of DC1 was closer to that experience than I think it would be now. The midwife was not there every second, but was very present and kind, got me an epidural at 3cm (I didn't scream, but a tiny tear seeped out and I think she felt sorry for me!) and even produced a strawberry mousse for me before pushing 'to give me energy'.

This is in a unit which subsequently closed down.

Nowadays I'm sure it would be a different story. It is really depressing and I've been shocked at seeing the real evidence of understaffing.

So get off the net, ladies and campaign for more midwives!!!

Labouring women need one to one care.

Lobby your MP'S. Do something about it.

If men gave birth do you think they would make do with one midwife flitting between 2 or 3 labouring women???

I didn't want to slap her at all, I saw a young frightened girl and she reminded me of me in my first labour.

You KNOW it is going to hurt but nothing can prepare you for that kind of pain, you do think you are going to die.

With my first I was told I was 1cm and was making too much noise to be admitted to a ward and I could lie on the bed with the G&A until morning, it was a first baby it could take 12 hours. I felt the MWs thought I was making a fuss and being a drama queen, in between screaming I kept apologising. I was terrified I would have 12 more hours of that, one contraction would just be going and the other one would start, it was back to back non stop hell.

It wasn't until I was making so much noise they came in to tell me to be quiet and check on me, they discovered I was 10cms and pushing, the MW actually apologised and said no wonder I was screaming dilating that fast.

How can you know how it feels for every woman, poor Sam could have had a back to back labour with a baby in the wrong position, she could have been having horrendous contractions, she was scared and needed support.

"I was wondering what had happened to Eddie Izzard recently, clearly he is now working on recpetion in the Princess Anne "

My Dh said exactly the same thing whilst we were watching it. She really was a vile character.

missedith01 I don't think they mention it in the programme, but they are filming in the consultant led Labour Ward of the Princess Anne - more medicalised environment, you are generally there for a "reason" ie some factor or complication, and more likely to be in bed on your beck. Upstairs there is a midwife led unit, where active labour is encouraged, but it doesn't seem as if they are going to be showing anything from there...

And to answer the OP's question, yes YABU.

What that young girl needed was

Support,
Empathy,
Love,
Care.

She did not need a slap.

On your back Beck, to my knowledge, doesn't hang around maternity hospitals...

bloody stupid idea to let a camera crew into a labour ward anyway. like all those poor women gave informed consent...

I was desperate to get on here last night but my bloody broadband was playing up!

I felt really sorry for both of those women. That poor girl didnt have a clue what was labour was going to be like. She was in pain and she was scared out of her mind.

Yes she was making a big old fuss but she was in a lot of pain. People kept saying 'she is not coping' . God how useless she was at giving birth

She was 20 and it was her first baby! She knew she was being a bit mad and she admitted it and when she had her epi she calmed down. She took the news about a C section very well too. More calmly than I would have.

The older lady had been up and down, back and forth for THREE DAYS FFS! She was hungry and her blood sugar was all over the place, she wanted her baby and she had been stuck in a bloody hospital for days. If you cant be a bit whingy and pissed off under those circumstances when the hell can you?

Bloody hell. Not only are we all supposed to bear down with dignity and not make too much noise, we have to be bloody happy whilst we are doing it now!

For both of these women it was their first experience of giving birth. Give em a break.

pregnantpeppa I found attitudes are very different second time round. Staff tend to listen much more and you don't have that feeling of being dismissed that seems to characterise first labours...

Pregnantpeppa - I am with you all the way. I felt like a total loser with my first birth. Like I was doing it all wrong because I was 'making a lot of noise'. I remember the the utter despair I felt at being told I was still only 3 cm dilated.

Like Jem says though - you tend to feel more in control with subsequent births.

I have 8 weeks to go and am so not looking forward to it all again! I am going for another homebirth and had one with DC4. It was bloody painful and quite long but so much better for me than a hosptial birth.

Lets try and relax about it all together

Again, if she'd have been labouring during the night, things would have been even worse!

Woosam you seem to think that women should be prepared for something they have no experience of just because they've read all about it in a book for pamphlet, watched umpteen documentaries, attended NCT classes, talked to friends about their experiences or whatever.

Some things you can never fully prepare for. Some tihngs you can think you are totally prepared for and they will still have a way of catching youtotally off guard.

Grief is a bit like that. How can anyone really prepare for it? It's a part of life, something that millions of people experience every single day. Thre are loads of books out there to read on the subject, lots of experiences of it to glean from others who've been through it but the first time you lose a really close loved one, you just can't prepare for it or know how you will react or how it will affect you.

I think the way you approach childbirth for the first time is a bit like that.

You may have a good idea of how you may feel and what it will be like but you never really know what journey you're going to go on, how you will react and how it will affect you until you actually get there.

I've just skimmed the latest posts and I can't remember who said this, but if women believe they will be able to just "breathe" the baby out that's because that is precisely the sh*te that's fed to us at so-called Parentcraft classes, not to mention Sheila blardy Kitzenger and her cronies. They need to start treating women like adults and tell them it's going to bloody well hurt like nothing on earth! Then give proper information and realistic choices about how to cope with it.

Oh God, I am dreading giving birth to DC2!!