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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want the NHS to pay for a vasectomy reversal

123 replies

faddle · 10/02/2010 20:33

DH had the snip a couple of years ago. At the time, we were both suffering from depression, myself quite severely, and I had just miscarried an unplanned pregnancy when my pill didnt work. In a fit of panic I packed him off for the snip and he (also in a fit of panic) went and had the op. Neither of us were offered counselling, and nor were was DH asked any questions other than "are you sure".
I have recently been and asked the GP for a referral to have the reversal, and he has agreed to refer us, but couldnt tell me the criteria, other than he didnt think we would be eligible.
Am I being unreasonable to ask for the NHS to pay for this since I feel if we had both been counselled, or at least interviewed, they probably would not have agreed to do the op given our mental state at the time.
We do desperately want another child, but the cost of having a reversal privately is beyond our means.

OP posts:
pooexplosionsareimproving · 10/02/2010 20:35

How much is a reversal? Surely less than the cost of a baby?

It sounds tough, and I don't know the process involved in having a vasectomy, but I honestly don't think it should be available on the NHS.

So sympathy, but YABU.

DarrellRivers · 10/02/2010 20:36

PCTs currently getting stricter with their criteria and I suspect you may not get the answer you wish for.
Worth checking to see though

lockets · 10/02/2010 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WorzselMummage · 10/02/2010 20:39

I think you have to take responsibility for your own actions.

I dont think your unreasonable to want then to pay it but i think they would be being unreasonable if they did.

sorry.

wilkos · 10/02/2010 20:40

so you asked for a vasectomy for your husband

you gave no indication to your doctor you might have second thoughts

op went ahead as you had requested

but they are the ones being unfair now you have changed your mind

ThatVikRinA22 · 10/02/2010 20:41

symapthies but yabu.

its a choice. the wrong one maybe but its not really an easy option to reverse it. its permanent usually. you must have known that at the time.
im pretty damn sure i dont want anymore kids and so is DH but this is a drastic solution.
odds of reversals working are pretty slim - really sorry as im sure you dont want to hear that.

how much to try privately?

thisisyesterday · 10/02/2010 20:44

i think yabu too sorry.
it was your choice to have the vasectomy, you knew the outcome.

Katz · 10/02/2010 20:45

whilst you have my sympathies the NHS is not a bottomless pit, googling reveals a reversal op costs a max of £3000, a baby is going to cost a lot more than that.

MrsC2010 · 10/02/2010 20:46

Ditto the others, sorry.

AnnieBeansMum · 10/02/2010 20:46

I definitely sympathise but yabu, I'm afraid. The NHS should not have to fund the reversal. You knew exactly what would happen if dh had the snip - with or without counselling.

rainbowinthesky · 10/02/2010 20:47

How will you afford a baby? I woudl much rather nhs money went to a billion other thigns than this.

Original poster
faddle · 10/02/2010 20:49

I've been quoted between 2-4k
when you are suffering from severe depression and are struggling to cope then you dont always make the right decisions.

OP posts:
Lulumama · 10/02/2010 20:49

making decisions when you are depressed, especially such life changing ones is a bad idea, much as i empathise, yabu

Butterfly99 · 10/02/2010 20:49

I just googled it and the price to have a reversal is £2000 - £3000, and the chances of success are fairly slim, and the reversal is hardly ever available on the NHS according to what I just read. Although I can sympathise with you, I do think you are being unreasonable to expect the NHS to pay for this. Surely you should have thought about this at the time, and said am I sure that I will never want to have anymore children in the future.

Tortington · 10/02/2010 20:50

sorry but no i really don't.

Katz · 10/02/2010 20:50

how long was it between seeing the GP and the op?

Lulumama · 10/02/2010 20:51

x posted with you faddle

nancydrewrocks · 10/02/2010 20:54

YABU. Take responsibility for your decision.

traceybath · 10/02/2010 20:55

If you were both being treated for depression I am surprised your GP let your DH go ahead with a vasectomy.

DH is going to have one but we have to both see the GP together to discuss why he wants to have it.

So although I sympathise I do think you are being unreasonable.

megcleary · 10/02/2010 20:55

Well won't the baby you hope to have once you have the reversal cost money?

LaBellaSantaCatarinadiSienna · 10/02/2010 20:56

Sorry, but no I don't

notevenamousie · 10/02/2010 20:56

IVF is far, far more successful than a reversal and costs around the same, so your GP shouldn't have been referring you for a reversal anyway.
Of course it's understandable that you feel how you do but the NHS is not a bottomless pit, sadly.

SoupDragon · 10/02/2010 20:56

Sorry, but no way should the NHS fund vasectomy reversals.

WidowWadman · 10/02/2010 20:57

I'd rather have the money used on the treatment of somebody who's genuinly ill than reversing somebody's choice they're not happy with now.

The NHS has only limited resources. Whilst I feel sorry for you, I think it's your chouce, so you should pay for it.

LynetteScavo · 10/02/2010 21:01

We all make decisions in life that we have to live with. This wasn't. a snap decision, you would have had to wait for the apt.

If you now want a baby, I think you should pay for it reversal yourself. But are you really sure you want a child? What if you later change your mind?