to be glad that I am not this baby

[PercyPigPie]

[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1249063/Headmistress-goes-school--7-hours-giving-birth.html here].

Bet she wouldn't be so chuffed if her staff started doing the same.

I could choose to stab myself in the eye repeatedly with a fork 7 hours after giving birth- doesn't mean it's a good idea, or that I should be held up as an example of what can be possible.

aside from the legal aspect of it I'm in 2 minds about it

I think her two comments about acknowledging she had an easy birth, and that her DD is very mellow show that she realises it wouldn't be possible for everyone. (maybe?)

I think someone else has mentioned this - but is it really that much different (especially as she lives at the school) going home to a house and other children and keeping that running (and there are plenty of women who BF and keep up with the housework from day 1) smoothly much different from going to a job that is obviously possible around a baby?

DS2 would have been a "perfect" baby for taking to work, he was SOOOOO chilled out when he was tiny (totally manic now he's a 6yr lol), but I wouldn't have been up to it.

DS3 would have been impossible to have at work - but I was up and about and getting on with as much stuff as he'd let me do the following morning.

Simply pointing out that she can't dip in and out - legally - she has decided to return to work and that is that, in case any women on this thread were thinking they could top up their mat pay. If you do more than 10 days work then mat leave officially ends.

I think that the 2 week minimum thing is to stop employers pressuring women to return to work sooner.

This is under discussion in "on the news" as well.

This page explains that she lives on site. She is carrying the baby around in a sling, and breast feeding on demand.

I think the duty of care to the pupils at a boarding school makes it quite a extra-ordinary job, and I personally think its fab. Mot women wouldn't feel well enough, but if not then why not?

Its not so different to a newborn with a SAHM/mother on maternity leave rushing round doing school run, toddler groups, ballet classes, cooking and cleaning, all with baby in a sling. I don't regret putting my babies through that.

"Do you not think that the very least this baby deserves is a day or two with her mummy being the centre of the universe."

well it's tough shite if you're baby no2 upwards - only PFB's get that precious time being the ONLY thing in mummy's life.

What Morloth said. There are many days I would have found sitting in front of a pc in my quiet office bf'ing DS2 MUCH less stressful than being at home alone with DS1, DS2, housework, tantrums, etc...!

She is an idiot.

And the message she is giving those girls isn't that they can have it all at all, it's that a career ranks above everything else - including having children and that if you have a career then life should be expected to slot in around it whether life agrees or not.

"Every school day since, she has brought her baby in, breast-feeding her between meetings and letting her doze during the more arduous parts of her schedule." so I'm presuming the baby naps on demand then? wonder whose "routine" she is following?

"I look after people?s daughters for them so they expect me to be pretty special and
an excellent role model." oh, to show them that babies shouldn't be given special treatment? That work comes above everything else?

I pity her children.

I'm a SAHM, and don't feel under threat from this.

Remember a boarding school has very long holidays, which is when she will have time to spend just with her baby (though she has older DC, so as a mother of 4 myself, I know that 1:1 time with the 3rd baby is rare.) Breastfeeding and baby carrying can be a great way to bond of course).

Not many places of work would let you take your baby with you even if you wanted to. Their insurance wouldn't cover the baby for being there surely? What if the baby got injured on the premises? I think that her situation is very unsual and not one that many people would find themselves in a position to do anyway.

Each to their own but I don't personaly think it is such a good message to be giving out - are other mums who take time off to recover from birth, get to know their baby etc. going to feel inadequate because they are not back at work in a few hours?

I would have hated to be straight back to work and would have been very sad to miss spending the first few months concentrating on my newborn and not worrying about work.

Why on earth would SAHM feel threatened by this article? I'm not threatened in the slightest.
I don't really care what this women does, I think the entire point of it all is that women can and should choose what works for them. I do however object to her being held up as some kind of role model with the intention that she is somehow better than those saner women who would not make the choice she has, not to mention the fact that the vast majority of women are not so lucky as to be able to have true choices.

"What if the baby got injured on the premises? "

I guess that must work slightly differently when you live on the premises??

Yes Toccata - I said her situation is different to most.

'are other mums who take time off to recover from birth, get to know their baby etc. going to feel inadequate because they are not back at work in a few hours?'

if someone feels inadequate by someones elses choices about parenthood, then it is possible they are not happy with the choices they have made, otherwise why would they care?

i can see this turning into a wohm v's sahm, so im off

happymatleave i think a lot of self employed people hop back to it quite quickly - assuming their business is compatible.

Employed types - ha no way would any of my jobs let me take a baby in!

I am a year mat leave a time kinda girl

"how the hell did she simultaneously fire the baby from her body and walk off, AND take the baby with her? Go on, explain yourself! YOu have made Nil Sense"

Figure of speech and you know it, don't be so bloody picky.

some women don't want to take the whole period of maternity leave on offer

some women can't afford to take the maternity leave on offer

some women think they'll return to work quickly - and then quit their high powered jobs (old school friend of mine)

some women don't have "maternity" leave as the weren't working before they had a baby.

some women need to find work when they would still be on maternity leave if finances become difficult.

So while I understand the issues of people having fought hard for longer maternity leave - it's not equal for everyone regardless.

I worked (and lived on the premises) at a boarding school in my late teens. When you are "on site" it is so much different "going to work" when you're already there (even during the holidays times you're still "at work".

The head, deputy head, and senior house masters all lived on site in houses with their wifes and children. It really is quite a "unique" situation to be in in that regard.

I have to say though regardless of the "rights and wrongs" she is a very cute baby

vinegar - on jeremy vine, she said she had taken longer maternity leave previously...

wrt the point that she's just occupying her time with work rather than housework...well, i would imagine her work takes more concentration than sticking washing in the machine. and if you have to stop dusting half way through, to take care of something for the baby, that's a slightly different scenario to being in the middle of a meeting/call and having to drop it - no-one's going to care that the housework isn't finished, but how can you approach work with the view that you may or may not be able to actually finish something - surely that is just not v effective?

Toccata - employers would have a very specific liability attached to being in the workplace vs when someone is in their living quarters, which would not be negated because they live on the same site they work

Much as I disagree with her approach, I do agree when she says: "?In our culture, young women are not encouraged to see babies and hold them and talk about them, let alone be aware of women breast-feeding. I think it?s marvellous that I can share Jessica with everyone here.?" - I'm just not convinced that going back to work within hours is the best way to counter this aspect of our culture.

In terms of nurturing the parent-child relationship, I disagree with her choices. Most people's holidays last longer than her mat leave, what a shame that she has chosen not to prioritise time with her baby for even a couple of weeks.

As well as that, she's reinforcing (for her children and her students) the 'work to live, not live to work' philosophy, isn't she? What if she were a driven career man, going back to work 7 hours after the birth of his child. Would nobody feel a pang of sorrow for the child? Or irritation at a workaholic father not taking time out for his children?

I wonder how her older children and DH feel about their family life now, and how things will be in the future. It's a pity the article doesn't report their thoughts, and it doesn't say whether her DH works, but I do hope her children get the nurturing and family support they need from both parents.

I do get the impression this is her life though - if she lived & worked on a farm would anyone blame her for being up and working at 5am the next day?

Suburbanite i have only read the article, in which states 'She has two other children with husband Brian ? Harry, six, and Caitlin, three ? and did not take maternity leave for either of them' so i cannot comment on Jeremy twat Vine

It was not a figure of speech at all. It was a statement. And if the things you say are going to deviate so far from what you mean, you'll find most people fit your definition of picky, Rockbird

'and it doesn't say whether her DH works, but I do hope her children get the nurturing and family support they need from both parents.'

Are you saying if her DH does work, then their dc wont get nuturing and support from both parents?

I wouldn't be irritated at a man going back to work after the same time, no, because its not the same thing, and many do that. But then I don't feel sorry for this baby either, she is getting her needs met. She is fed and held and close to her mother, thats all a baby needs at that stage, she is not lacking anything at all. Indeed I imagine she might more attention than a newborn who has a SAHM with lots of older children.

I don't like the implication that children are not nurtured ans supported when their parents have jobs.

I would have been pretty bloody irritated if DH has turned down his paternity leave and gone straight back to work, I can tell you!

People just need to do what is right for them, keeping an eye on balance, their health and the legal implcations

Suburbanite - but in many cases (certainly where I worked) that would mean that workers couldn't leave the confines of their own garden within the grounds!

I am posting in "tandem" on both threads.

But I will just say that living and working ina school like that, the "teaching" and "office" buildings, and the people working their become as much a part of your life as others neighbours are. They ARE your life. You don't escape it just by shutting the front door - you are there, even when you're "not".

I think until you've lived and work in a school such as that which forms a community as well as a work place you never quite understand it.

I'm certain I wouldn't get it if I hadn't experienced it myself.