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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be glad that I am not this baby

158 replies

PercyPigPie · 08/02/2010 12:40

[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1249063/Headmistress-goes-school--7-hours-giving-birth.html here].

Bet she wouldn't be so chuffed if her staff started doing the same.

OP posts:
Morloth · 08/02/2010 13:05

Just because the option isn't available to everyone doesn't mean no-one should do it.

frakkinaround · 08/02/2010 13:06

It is definitely illegal for an employee to return to work within 2 weeks of giving birth (4 weeks for factories, as stated) but whether it's the employer or the employee who is penalised I don't know.

I believe, but am not entirely sure, that employees can be removed from the premises as they're not covered by insurance, same as if you try to go in when signed off sick.

FlamingoBingo · 08/02/2010 13:08

Good for her. It's what you're meant to do. It's only our stupid idiotic culture that demonises babies and children that stops us doing this.

We are not meant to have babies and then be isolated for months on end; we are meant to have babies, and then get on with our work, babies in tow. It's just crap that our culture is so oriented that babies just can't be taken along to most jobs.

Suburbanite · 08/02/2010 13:09

The 2 week compulsory mat leave is a statutory requirement to ensure there are no post birth complications that could then be blamed on the employer/immediate return to work. The actual period of time is probably arbitrary, and it's been that length for as long as I can remember.

Even if you don't have medical complications, your hormones are still all over the place. I don't think I've gone a day so far 12 days) without crying for some reason (happiness/schmaltzy TV/tiredness etc etc) - not sure I'd want to inflict that on colleagues, or for them to see me like that, if I am being honest. Work and family are separate for me, and that's the way I like it. Horses for courses, I guess.

VinegarTits · 08/02/2010 13:09

i dont think her message is 'you must be superwoman' and niether does it belittle the value of being a mum, she isnt neglecting the baby, she is doing all the things she would be doing at home, only instead of doing housework while the baby sleeps she sitting in meetings with baby next to her

StealthPolarBear · 08/02/2010 13:11

my babies at that age did nothing but eat, poo and sleep, all of which can happen in meetings Bet she won't be doing this with a 3mo! Wonder if the MW is visiting her though

StealthPolarBear · 08/02/2010 13:12

what i mean is, i am assuming she's doing this for a few days then goimg on ML like everyone else would

BertieBotts · 08/02/2010 13:14

Why can't a traffic warden take a baby to work? Brain surgeon fair enough, you wouldn't want the baby to cry suddenly and make you jump at the wrong moment - but a traffic warden could put the baby in a sling, would be nice and cosy.

I think it's great for the baby to be able to experience and take in normal life - it's how they learn best after all.

Morloth · 08/02/2010 13:14

I would think coming home and looking after a bunch of older kids/the house is pretty bloody demanding as well, but no-one bats an eyelid when women do that 7 hours after giving birth.

BertieBotts · 08/02/2010 13:16

Why, what does a 3 month old do that is different? I think they only become less portable when they start moving around - and even then for a few months you could probably get away with letting them explore a few safe things, e.g. shredded paper.

Sassybeast · 08/02/2010 13:17

Vinegartits - I respectfully disagree. Her message to her pupils is that they can 'have it all' as if 'having it all' is the 'best' and most valuable thing to do. Having a career is more important than spending those precious first hours and days bonding with your child, introducing her to the rest of the family and re adjusting to the new dynamics ? I feel desperately sad for her other children - especially her daughter who will no doubt feel under immense pressure to also 'have it all'. Oh - and heaven help her future DIL in the event that they decide to be a SAHM

It's so bizarre that we fought for decent maternity rights and now seem to metaphorically stick 2 fingers up to them

StealthPolarBear · 08/02/2010 13:18

well i have a 5 month old & for the last 2, maybe 3 months she's wanted entertaining, plaing with toys etc. Not loads, not suggesting she's playing solitaire but don't think i could just sit her on my knee all day every day apart from MNing

dixiechick1975 · 08/02/2010 13:20

Yes compulsory maternity leave is 2 weeks off post birth(4 weeks for factory work). The employee shall not work or be permitted by her employer to work. Employer liable to fine for breach of health and safety. I can't see a penalty for the employee but she is breaking the law - hardly a great example for the girls...

Kewcumber · 08/02/2010 13:21

saying you would not like to be that baby is implying that she is a terrible mother.

On the basis that she has taken the baby into work (where she lives btw) and no other evidence.

Just a teensy weensy bit judgemental?

I'm sure I could point a finger at mothers who don't take their childrne into work and be far more horrified at teh idea of being their baby.

She is doing something slightly outside of the norm and she is breastfeeding - thought she would be an MN hero

VinegarTits · 08/02/2010 13:21

I feel despreately sad for women who feel under immense pressure to stay at home once they have had a baby

I think SAHM's will feel threatened by this article

coldtits · 08/02/2010 13:22

I believe in choice.

She feels able and is choosing to go to work. Nobody made her, and she's not making anyone else do it.

Kewcumber · 08/02/2010 13:24

This is one woman out of thousands - it's hardly common (which is why the DM is running it). Implying that there is some kind of mass sticking up of two fingers to maternity rights is a tad hysterical.

I doubt many woman would either want or be capable of doing this - I hardly think one article in the Daily Misogenist is going to set off a stampede

RockbirdandHerSpork · 08/02/2010 13:25

Do you not think that the very least this baby deserves is a day or two with her mummy being the centre of the universe. No one is saying she should jack in her career or go to ground for months but you owe it to your child not to fire them out of your body and then walk off (yes I kneow she took the baby with her, big deal)

tethersend · 08/02/2010 13:26

"If her job allows it then i cant see a problem, doesnt make her an idiot"

I don't think she's an idiot for going back to work, vinegartits- there wouldn't be much of an article if her message was 'Hey everyone; I'm going back to work because I have the sort of job where I can!'.

I think she's an idiot for holding herself up as an example of greatness for doing so. As if there is something about her, rather than her job which allows this to happen.

I was thinking more of the abuse from the general public when I mentioned traffic wardens

coldtits · 08/02/2010 13:26

how the hell did she simultaneously fire the baby from her body and walk off, AND take the baby with her? Go on, explain yourself! YOu have made Nil Sense.

VinegarTits · 08/02/2010 13:29

And why would her dd/dil feel imense pressure to do the same? unless she is some kind of dictator with a 'high way or my way' attitude, which didnt strike me in the article

She is just showing that we can have more of a choice, if we want to and if our career allows us too, and more choice for women can only be a good thing, it doesnt mean we will all be forced to do the same

ImSoNotTelling · 08/02/2010 13:34

Erm she will have lost her maternity pay. By going back to work she has "returned to work" and if she has a change of heart/the hormones wear off and she wonders what she's doing/the sleepless nights get to her and she wants a break she'll have to take it as normal sick or unpaid parental leave.

Unless there is some kind of jiggery pokery going on with how she's paying (herself)...

BertieBotts · 08/02/2010 13:35

But the baby wouldn't just be sitting on her lap, would it? Unless you worked in an office job etc - you could use slings etc.

VinegarTits · 08/02/2010 13:36

Imsonottelling she didnt take maternity leave with her other 2 children either, so i think she is well aware fo what she is doing regarding her ML

Kewcumber · 08/02/2010 13:37

the baby deserves to have a good mother - there's quite a wide inteerpretation of what that is. I'm surprised you can tell from the article that she isn't.

Wouldn;t be my choice but its really hard to tell whether what she is doing is so very demanding or not.