..but your sister has such a hard time, you have DP to help you

[PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow]

[sigh]

Sister is a single mum, one DS.
I am a Mum with one DS, but I have DP.

She is on her own, I am not.

She has recently gone on holiday for 3 days (her old friend is cabin crew, they got a good deal).
Mum looked after her DS as she's always on her own.

My DP works ALL THE TIME. 3 days a week he gets home just as or after DS has gone to bed. Yes, he is there, yes, i get the occasional lie-in, but generally it's all down to me.

Was recently ill. Had to look after DS by myself, as any other Mum does.

Sister rings our Mum when she's ill because she can't cope.

I know I'm being unreasonable.. but she's just had a holiday that we can't afford/couldn't take due to work and Mum has taken care of her. I know i'm just being jea;lous.. gah, it just sucks.

BTw- being a lone parent does not mean being a fuck up pureasthecoldrivensnow. sheees.

poshsinglemum - where did I say that it did?
she's a fuck up in other ways, always has been. Nothing to do with her being a single mum at all.

Read the rest of the thread - it's not so much the holiday that's the issue, more the relationship we both have with our Mum. i've listened to all the points made on this thread, realised it's my issue rather than my sisters.

...and besides - I did in the first instance say that I was being unreasonable. No need to sheeesh at me

poshsinglemum, some women would be better off financially if they were single.

And if my husband is in Europe, how exactly do I have a babysitter on tap?

No single parent is the same as any other, and neither are couples.

I get where you're coming from.

My sister was a single parent for 2 years & she lived with my mum & dad who looked after her dd. I lived at home until her dd was 1 year old and in that first year, I got up & fed her dd for her, my brother give her the early morning feed before he went to work at 6am and in the first year of my niece's life, my sister never once did a night feed... mum got the child up, dressed, fed etc.. and kept saying "Oh poor , she has it all to do alone!"

The sis got married when dniece was 2.6yrs old. Even though she wasn't a single parent anymore, mum still did the breakfast thing, sending my dad over to pick the child up for breakfast (she lived across the street from my mum)

Anyway, niece is 13 now, mum still spoils her rotten, but not the children that sis had afterwards - she says dniece holds a 'special place' in her heart as she 'practically reared her'

Yes, I can see how they have grown a close bond, but unfortunately, it's to the detriment of all her other grandchildren, as she maked such a fuss of the teenager (who huffs if any other grandchildren want to stay at mum's).

So, you know what, maybe it's a good thing in a way. I feel my dsis isn't actually a parent to her 13-year-old, as my mum always butts in, always tells her what to do... i'd rather be my own child's parent than try to comply with other's ideals. So perhaps the bit that you can't see, is that your mum's help may come at a price?

"So perhaps the bit that you can't see, is that your mum's help may come at a price?"

Thats a really interesting point and one I struggle with. My mum is very involved with DS and we do have periodic battles over her encroaching onto a parental role. The truth is, its really unavoidable to a degree if you want to get more help than average from GP's.

As for not wishing being a single parent on anyone - well I chose to be so I can hardly say that

It is tough but single with DS is a much better deal for me than single without DS.

he's bringing in the cash and you can get the occasional shag

hollow laughter<

i don't think that's something you can assume just because she's married!

By susia Wed 10-Feb-10 00:12:41

Your sister deserves a break, you don't. Sorry.

WHat a load of utter tripe. Everyone deserves a break. Not everyone gets one, but everyone deserves it, partner or no partner, children or no children.

Just because I have a husband doesn't mean that either he or I don't derserve a break occasionally - and we are lucky enough to get one as we have parents on both sides who are fair with this sort of thing.

thanks weegiemum

That's the point I'm trying to get across - of course my sister deserves/needs a break, but the assumption that me and DP don't because we have each other is wrong. We need time together too.

Incidentally, MIL has offered to have DS this weekend, so we have Saturday night to ourselves! How's that for timing

[stops moaning about lack of breaks]

Oh its great that you're getting Saturday night off. How lovely of your MIL .

Btw I thought Susia's posts scaled the heights of absolutely twattishness that you occasionally come across on mn. You could give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she was having a bad day but I think you should simply ignore her.

Enjoy your weekend.

yes, I have a lovely MIL - she's amazing

I hadn't actually seen susia's most recent post - am quite shocked at it actually. I thought I was being fairly reasonable, and she decides to post yet again having a go.
This "Your sister deserves a break, you don't. Sorry." was just ridiculous.

Like you said, she was probably having a bad day

EdgarAllenSnow