For threatening to piss on my dps head and removing a sizeable chunk of hair ?

[nevereatbrownsnow]

Apparently I am as he has communicated by grunt all day

It all came to a head in bed last night. When the hint of snaking his arms around my waist, brushing my boobs and grabbing my thighs in what he obviously thinks is a suggestive manner failed the dry humping started and built to such a vigorous crescendo my ring piece puckered in fear!!

Yes dp I am fully aware It's been a while however you sealed your own fate when you commented on my wobbly bits during a particulary active game of hunt the sausage!!

However, none of the above is the main issue, the straw that broke this old rusty camels back was poking me awake at 3am after I'd finally shook you off ( and built a wall of pillows ) to ask me if I'd bought your nasty old cowbg of a fucking mother a birthday fucking card !!

The hated fucking Bitch who discarded our two kids one by one when she found out they were defective and now wants to concentrate only on her perfect daughters perfect child.

Oh yes,the woman who said our daughter 'didnt have the brains' to ask us 'why dosent nannie like me any more'

So tell me, aibu to respond by responding by ripping out a chunk of chest hair, and threatening to piss on his cunting head ?

( disclaimer, I also threatend to force feed him his testicles but didnt want to put it in the thread title )

Do people actually eat brown snow? Was yellow taken?

I like Nebs as a name, but the brown is making me queasy, I have to say...

I chose nevereatbrownsnow because kids always say nevereatyellowsnow, just thought I'd be different

Yes shiney, I'm finally here (after dragging me laptop up to me mates where she joined me using her e mail address AND finally sorted out my email) I'm not very computer literate, can't even upload photos on facebook

The trouble is, you say you're being lighthearted but actually you're not - there's real venom and bitterness in your words, which are in fact very heavyhearted. Sounds like you need to let go of some of your pain. But don't go getting all trashy and negative about it, just let it (them) go. Hope all goes well with sorting it out.

Fair enough, thanks for the amatuer psychology.
Seriously, I barely give the woman a thought (and get on great with the rest of his family ) but really resented her disrupting my sleep !!!!!!

See I keep reading your name as Never Eat Browns Now, and thought you had something against the restaurant chain

But welcome, you seem to have moved right in, put your feet up on the Chaise Longue and cracked open the voddy! You've probably been flamed (or lightly toasted anyway) more times in the last few days than I have been in my entire Mumsnet 'career' (not sure what that says about me actually)

Crikey lionstar and oo er missus !!

OP made me feel a bit sick tbh, and wrinkle my nose. Takes all sorts as they say.

I was not amused by the OP ..but I'm in a grumpy mood tonight ..hope my dil never describes me as a nasty old cowbag

Usualsuspect - I'm sure you would never reject one of your dgc because they had been diagnosed with autism. I think that 'nasty old cowbag' is a fairly mild term for someone who dumped their grandchildren like hot potatoes because they were 'defective'!

Thank you SDTG, the voice of reason, unless usualsuspect thinks that sort of mil behaviour is acceptable ?

Crikey, this place is like prisoner cell block h on speed, everyones so freakin suspicious to outsiders !!!

Still don't think the op was funny

Thats fine, I'm sure I'll sleep well tonight hope I do anyways

Sweet dreams

But you aren't saying that the MIL's behaviour is acceptable, are you, usualsuspect.

And I suspect that the OP was black humour as a way to cope with frustration and hurt.

what's going on here then?

To be honest I couldn't be arsed to see her point through her black humour... but just ignore me, each to their own

You've got me sdtg I do have a very dark sense of humour as a result of both exhaustion and frustration, I should understand that not everybody 'gets' me.

And I have a distinct feeling I won't be getting any sleep again tonight

Insomnia, or external factors keeping you awake, nebs? I do sympathise as I have suffered insomnia in the past, as part of my depression, and still don't sleep enough and feel constantly tired. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

I hope you do get some sleep tonight.

(unmumsnetty hug)

Sorry I'm not usually such a mardy cow

cripes.

so NEBS- hows mumsnet going? LOL

a baptism of fire?

Mardy is a good word - I might borrow it, if that's ok.

Help yourself SDTG tis a good Leicester word

It is the pression, the kids buggered up my sleeping habits tho, I see the kids off to school and go back to bed, I sleep on n off all day then lie awake all nite, I don't know how to get out of this