For threatening to piss on my dps head and removing a sizeable chunk of hair ?

[nevereatbrownsnow]

Apparently I am as he has communicated by grunt all day

It all came to a head in bed last night. When the hint of snaking his arms around my waist, brushing my boobs and grabbing my thighs in what he obviously thinks is a suggestive manner failed the dry humping started and built to such a vigorous crescendo my ring piece puckered in fear!!

Yes dp I am fully aware It's been a while however you sealed your own fate when you commented on my wobbly bits during a particulary active game of hunt the sausage!!

However, none of the above is the main issue, the straw that broke this old rusty camels back was poking me awake at 3am after I'd finally shook you off ( and built a wall of pillows ) to ask me if I'd bought your nasty old cowbg of a fucking mother a birthday fucking card !!

The hated fucking Bitch who discarded our two kids one by one when she found out they were defective and now wants to concentrate only on her perfect daughters perfect child.

Oh yes,the woman who said our daughter 'didnt have the brains' to ask us 'why dosent nannie like me any more'

So tell me, aibu to respond by responding by ripping out a chunk of chest hair, and threatening to piss on his cunting head ?

( disclaimer, I also threatend to force feed him his testicles but didnt want to put it in the thread title )

Chocolate spread might not slither down well enough, but lemon curd should work. And besides - why waste good chocolate on a man - they won't appreciate it the way we will.

True, true. I need an official snore tips thread but i'm too lazy to type. Zzzzz

You sound like a member of the cast of Shameless.

Thank you itsmeolord, I shall take that as the compliment it probably wasnt intended as.
But have a feeling not many shameless type charecters are mortgage free at the grand old age of 28 (like me)

you have to -- on every word

my oh doesn't snore. at all (every now and then when he falls asleep on the settee with his head at a very precarious angle)

my ex used to snore. i used to squeeze his nose too.
the amount of times he would tap off my hand and carry on!

Thanks nickelbabe, yes head position can make a difference unfortunately dps most comfy snooze position tens to be his loudest.

All of them are mortgage free I think you'll find. They live in social housing.

And wtf has being mortgage free got to do with anything anyway?

That was my point, they choose live on benefits in social housing, we work damn hard and have paid our mortgage off (were v v luckey to have such a low mortgage ) we rarely drink (and never drink when the kids are in house ) we try to provide a loving, supportive home for our children ( who both have autism )

Hardly shameless material !!

YANBU I do this to my OH most evenings.
~tee hee
x

Thank you Wolliw, the voice of reason

Nothing to do with the thread, but I am utterly at how long it took me to realise that wolliw's nick is willow spelled backwards.

YABU: piss on your MILs head!

Why do you send the old baggage a card?
YABU -sending MIL a card. She thinks her grandchildren are not good enough ffs! .
Send MIL a bottle of wine for her birthday- any old half drunk bottle will do - just get the dc to make some wee- wee and add it to the bottle for that personal touch.!

I don't know why, I'm an idiot.

My dd was the centre of her world until she was aged 4 when even she couldnt deny her autism, she dropped her like a hot brick, makes me feel very

My poor dd has been left devastated.

I feel awful for your dd too, nebs. You love your grandchildren no matter what. I can understand grandparents being shocked, not knowing how to cope, and being scared, but they are adults and should bloody well get over it so they can support their child, their dil and their grandchild. They have failed as parents and grandparents.

Thanks SDTG and I do try to keep a sense of humour.
I know. fuckers, I always put a pic the kids have drawn and a photo in the card, my way of saying 'see what you're missing'

Makes me angry seeing her in town with my dn, what if she ends up 'defective' ?? !!

They were crap parents to my dp too, I remember his nan saying 'the day dps dsis was born dp could no longer do anything right.(they'd always wanted a girl) dp was only 5, It makes me feel

Am not a namechanger. why the s'not as if I skinned him alive and it is meant to be tongue in cheek.

Grim ?? wouldnt go that far

And the issue wasnt mil's card really, it was being woken up!!
Sleep is very precious to me, I get very little. (the kids were at there aunties, she has them once a fortnight so we get a full nights sleep)

And yes, I am new

Good grief - just seen this thread and whizzed through the pages. Silly me, I thought Mumsnet was for grown-ups! I've never read such immature bile from people who are mothers. Get a grip!!

I've been lurking for ages ( had trouble wimme e mail so couldnt join ) was like a kid looking in a sweetshop with no door
And oska, it's my attempt to make something which is actually incredibly sad lighthearted, my advice to you is unpucker that cats bum,remove those judgeypants and breathe .