to think "My child won't speak" is a load of tosh

[bruceb]

My DW is sitting next to me on the settee and she was dictating her version, which included the words "fucking".

Parents pandering to unreasonable behaviour.

Discuss

OMG Verity that's horrendous your poor dd hope she's doing well in her new school.
And shocking about your camhs, what did you do? Did you accept the discharge?

Luckily the camhs here have been fantastic, I would never have dreamt that child experts could be like that as our experience of it has been very good

BigBadMummy - thank you for the apology - that is good to see - but it worries me that you can have watched that programme last night and not seen that it was not just stubbornness. Genuinely asking - were you not watching/listening properly, or did they gloss too quickly over the explanation given about it being a really difficult issue that sets in at a very early age and is then difficult to change without the proper knowledge? I thought the condition was explained beautifully, but it would be a shame if the programme had failed to make the genuine origins of the problem clear.

Well done for such a gracious apology. AIBU can be harsh, but I think in these circs fair, and it is always great to see someone see past the harsh posts and see the issue, and to learn. Many would just have run for hills feeling attacked and not have taken on board the essential information being given.

very heartfelt and gracious apology

I knew you had it in you, bbm !

Wow, it's not often you see a gracious apology on MN. Well done BBM.

I am saddened to hear some of the stories on this thread.

My DN suffers from Oppositional Defiance disorder and I can honestly say my sister has tried eveything. My niece is 8 years old, still has tantrums both privately and publicly, is prone to aggressive outbursts (bites with alarming regularity) and is incapable of forming friendships. DS has tried discipling her through time out, withdrawal of privilliges, sticker charts and so on. Her GP is going to try a new type of medication on her in conjunction with therapy, so fingers crossed.

It's all just so sad. I don't think for one minute, that you can judge another person until you've walked a mile in their shoes. My DS is now used to the critical glances, the tutting and the whispered commentary when out, so I have nothing but admiration and respect for the parents of children suffering from SN.

I would want to ask the same question as Bless it amazed me that some parents of children in my dds class who watched it seemed to have missed the point as well. Maybe they could have made it clearer. I think implying that the children had a list of people and were choosing not to speak to them was not helpful.

like Veritys dd my dd was once very badly hurt an failed to make any noise at all whilst we were with other people. When you see somthing like that it makes it so very clear that they are not choosing not to make a sound. She had a deep gash in her arm but stood still and silent with tears running down her face. When we got into the car she screamed out in terrible pain.

Have been very interested in reading all the posts on this thread following the BBC programme. I just wanted to make the following comments, as I am the mother of Red:

Red is a very lively, chatty girl when not overcome with anxiety.
She herself describes her SM as a physical feeling...she wants to speak but the words will not come out. The more she wants to speak to someone the harder it is.
We only agreed to be part of this programme because Red agreed and said she wanted to raise awareness as so many people do not understand SM and what it is.
Red used to speak to her class teacher at school in Nursery and Reception, but her year 1 teacher thought she was being rude and stubborn and shouted at her to speak...she has never spoken to anyone in school since.
We ourselves (before we knew better) tried the "don't be silly, speak" and offers of treats etc... if she did.
We have tried GP, Speech and Language Therapist, CAMHS, Hypnotist and various other strategies over the past 4 years...to no avail.
Red does not yet speak to her grandad, they are still leaving voicemail messages to one another, which they both like.
We have to deal with Red's frustration of not being able to speak on a daily basis.
RED DESPARATELY WANTS TO BE ABLE TO SPEAK ALL THE TIME!

MrsCarrie, Thanks for leaving the message and doing the programme. I hope Red knows that she will probably have helped other children with this condition by doing the programme.

A friend's DD used to have this condition and they'd tried everyone , GP, HV, speech therapist, etc and nothing worked. Then they saw a programme on SM (this was some years ago) and on the programme was an expert on the condition. They tracked this expert down and got help from her and after many months her DD was able to talk. She is now 100% fine but it was a long road.

I hope Red continues to improve and wish her all the luck in the world. It must be very difficult for her.

MrsCarrie

how interesting to get your comments.

I am sure that you will have realised that actually the thread was almost entirely supportive and people do recognise the reality of this condition. Few of us, of course, can understand how difficult this must be for you and Red except those few contributing who are also living with the condition.
The views of the Op were roundly condemned and the Ops wife has also apologised.

can I wish you and Red well.