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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think "My child won't speak" is a load of tosh

162 replies

bruceb · 02/02/2010 22:56

My DW is sitting next to me on the settee and she was dictating her version, which included the words "fucking".

Parents pandering to unreasonable behaviour.

Discuss

OP posts:
mamazon · 02/02/2010 23:12

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Message withdrawn

MavisEnderby · 02/02/2010 23:12

i didn't see the programme but afaik selective mutism is a recognised disorder.

It must be very sad.

As the parent of a child who has no language due to neurological disorder and may never speak I can relate to the sadness the parents must feel.

Maybe one day their children will speak but in tyhe meantime it must be soul destroying for all involved.

StewieGriffinsMom · 02/02/2010 23:12

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BigBadMummy · 02/02/2010 23:12

OK, I am the DW and I will explain.

How can the parents be so reasonable and so patient when their children won't speak. They can but they won't.

I know deep down it is a phobia and they are scared of talking but really... after eight years?

Why on day two did the parents not say "for fuck sake, speak. It is rude to ignore me".

I guess I am in a minority of one.

I will get my coat.

islandofsodor · 02/02/2010 23:12

Lets leave this thread as by continuing it we are giving an ignorant person what he wants.

overmydeadbody · 02/02/2010 23:13

Well you may not want to believe it, you and your smug wife, but that doesn't stop it being a real condition. What, you think kids who are selectively mute or even just mute are faking it? Having us on? Pulling everyone's leg for the fun of it?

MaggieTaSeFuar · 02/02/2010 23:13

you could make these children talk then could you bruce?

they are choosing (selecting) not to talk. what part of that is nonsense?

BitOfFun · 02/02/2010 23:13

So bruceb's wife won't talk for herself? Ironic...

islandofsodor · 02/02/2010 23:13

You are thinking it inside but know that by voicing it you will make things worse.

TheCrackFox · 02/02/2010 23:14

How would you make them talk then Bruce? Seen as you seem to have all the answers.

Hulababy · 02/02/2010 23:14

bruceb - are you qualified in anyway to make these decisions? Have you researched this area of medical science? Do you have some training to make you knowledgeable about it?

You do realise there will be parents on here, on MN, with children who have SM. You do realise how offensive you will be sounding to them, if not everyone else?

Why do you not believe SM exists? Do you not believe other medical conditions either? Or is it just ones that do not have physical symptoms?

TheCrackFox · 02/02/2010 23:15

"Why on day two did the parents not say "for fuck sake, speak. It is rude to ignore me"."

How on Earth do you know that they didn't?

MollieO · 02/02/2010 23:16

It is on BBC1 now. Have to say that I agree completely with the OP. At least for these three children. May of course be different for others.

Ds is selectively mute (and hard of hearing) on a daily basis .

Hulababy · 02/02/2010 23:16

BBM - if it was only that simple eh? Don't you think the experts might have considered that one already

LaurieFairyCake · 02/02/2010 23:17

Well at least you didn't post this on the special needs board

SuperBunny · 02/02/2010 23:17

Parents of children with special needs have to be patient. Shouting and swearing won't make a selectively mute child talk, will it?

overmydeadbody · 02/02/2010 23:17

BigBadMummy maybe the parents did say that, and maybe it made fuck all difference.

I know I had my moments of getting very frustrated and annoyed at DS's mutism, and had some outbursts of "for goodness sake just say something" but it really did not help at all, it just drew attention to it which made DS more anxious and afraid to talk.

Maybe, if you don't get it, you could ask for more information, start a thread to talk to people who've had experieince of it, instead of just rudely assuming you know best.

Next you'll be saying children with autism just need a good telling off

islandofsodor · 02/02/2010 23:17

Lets hope you never have the situation where a teacher tells you that your ds has not spoken at all for the first 2 weeks of school. (thankfully temporary)

Or you watch your dneice being afraid to voice what she thinks or feels, communicating with a tiny whisper to her smae age cousin or mum but no-one else.

LaurieFairyCake · 02/02/2010 23:18

LOL at 'shouting' someone out of a phobia

wtf.

SuperBunny · 02/02/2010 23:19

MollieO, there is a vast difference between a child with SM and a child who just won't respond to you.

wastwinsetandpearls · 02/02/2010 23:20

I have been too busy working to watch the programme so cannot comment on the cases featured.

However having taught children who are SMs I can vouch that they are genuine and not trying it on.

What a silly OP. If only we could select who was mute!

Olifin · 02/02/2010 23:20

'They can [speak] but they won't.'

Yes BigBadMummy, that is what selective mutism is.

BigBadMummy · 02/02/2010 23:20

I am sorry this has all been taken so seriously, yes we know it is a recognised medical condition but there is still a large part of me that cannot understand how it can be permitted to continue for so long.

These children are all now talking at the end of the programme, with help from experts who have excellent methods for helping the children speak.

Why has it taken so long?

Why have the parents permitted it to last for years?

I am not talking and mean no offence to people who have children with neurological conditions that will not allow them to speak, possibly ever. That must be very sad for parents to never hear their child's voice.

I just don't understand how parents can not have done more before the BBC came along and filmed it.

As I say, I am clearly an uneducated arsehole who knows fuck all so I will go back to painting my nails.

islandofsodor · 02/02/2010 23:21

hear hear wastwinset.

Walking away now.

SuperBunny · 02/02/2010 23:21

OMDB, that's where I've been going wrong at work. I shall go in and tell off the autistic children and that will resolve all their problems. And mine. Why did no-one think of that?

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