AIBU to think you get less attention at school as a 'well behaved' child?

[mylifemykids]

I'm so fed up of DS coming home and telling me his teacher hasn't had time to change his reading book/listen to him read/tell the class their daily story just because she's been busy with x,y or z who have been naughty AGAIN.

He's such a well behaved little boy and the majority of his class are also well behaved. There are about 6 children in his class who have been labelled as 'challenging' (not SN before anyone asks) and therefore seem to take up A LOT of the teacher/TA's time.

Today DS came home very upset because one of these children got the first 'Headmistress Star of the Week award' in their class (it was their first time at assembly with the whole school). When I asked him why he was so upset about it he said 'well S is always naughty but he got an award for being good just for one week when I'm good EVERY week and I didn't get one'

I know I probably ABU because obviously these children need to be dealt with but it just seems the majority of the class seem to suffer because of it.

AIBU to think this is normal practise in all schools?!

I think it's fair enough to reward the children that NEED it most, rather than those that deserve it most. But make sure the quiet ones get something occasionally.
At DS' school, they have "certificates" in assembly once a month. I think about 5 children per class get chosen each time. I did start to feel cross for DS (quite academic, very sporty, reasonable behaviour) when I heard some children were on to their second or third certificate, and he still hadn't had a single one.
However, on the last Friday of the year, at last(!) he got one for maths, which he is always very good at.
It was obvious to me that the teacher had checked who hadn't got any certificates and found a reason to give him one. One of his friends was in the same situation. (also getting one for something he is consistently good at) I smiled inwardly, but didn't spoil the children's pride.

They can build up thier points for things like sitting next to a friend all day, helping with the nursery or playgroup kids, or even ordering a pizza! but they have to save for about a year for that. It works really well

YANBU I remember feeling to frustrated as a child when I saw others who were utter brats get lavished with attention and praise for managing to behave for one day when I was was good everyday but got praise.
The reward I did get was actually gaining an education whilst they frittered away their time, when I compare my life to those of old badly behaved classmates I so bloody glad I behaved. Tell your DS his rewards will come later in life due to his own hard work, it's tough being overlooked sometimes but it happens in the real world too it's something we all have to learn to deal with.

This is very difficult to avoid when you large classes. It is very sad. All the funding that has been given to education should have been used to decrease class sizes. This would have made the single biggest difference to me and my students.

imo this thread proves why inclusion doesn't work

But children like my ds (bright, challenging, with some behavioural problems that a good teacher can manage very well with a bit of ingenuity) are mainstream children, and I think there are quite a lot of them. Their problems are not sufficient for much in the way of support and would never have been sent to special schools, they would have been labeled as naughty and stupid I expect and might end up in exclusion type units, but not at primary school, because they wouldn't (yet) have got that frustrated, and in any case good teachers have been around for many many years, so a lot of this sort of behaviour has always been managed in the normal classroom. We were told that ds would do better at a private school, but most people would consider private to be mainstream wouldn't they? One thing that probably has upped the numbers of children who find school very difficult is the earlier starting age.

What would you propose 2 shoes - looping all challenging kids together in special schools?

Never understood why all the kids can't get rewarded for particular things, eg naughty ones for behaving, good ones for effort etc etc. When I used to help in my dc's classes, I gave everyone merits for something.

Also can't stand whole class suffering because of one or two. Can't count the amount of times the whole class spend their entire PE line standing in a line being told to "be quiet" and "line up nicely." Why can't the two naughty ones be taken off somewhere else in the school (another, older class for eg) and let the others have their bloody lesson?

Drove me mad.

Hully in our school all the kids are rewarded and badly behaved kids are made to sit quietly away from the group. Works where we are, and I can't believe it's unique.

Smee, please ensure it is rolled out as a policy across our blighted land immediately.

I moved my dc in the end.

Hully, I don't have those powers unfortunately, but I do feel very lucky!

Definitely not being unreasonable. Happens at my DD's school every day Only yesterday DD wore a multi coloured hair band to school, head of primary told her, 30 minutes after school finished, while DD was waiting in car park for me to pick her up, not to wear it again as it's not part of the school uniform. Fair enough. However, a child who has a history of violence at school, she's 8, is allowed day after day to wear white crocs with green and white stripey socks because she has 'issues' and no one is allowed to upset her. Really gives me the shits!!!!!!!!!!!