Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think being a Single Mum can be a good thing?

131 replies

WashwithCare · 27/01/2010 20:48

More state benefits.

25% off your council tax.

No man-pong socks to wash.

Childfree weekends to have fantastic hotel-sex with your luvver.

OP posts:
violethill · 27/01/2010 20:49

1/10

Lulumama · 27/01/2010 20:51

you are such a troll.

really, you are

GetDownYouWillFall · 27/01/2010 20:52

Loneliness

Noone to talk to when your DC are kicking off and you've got nowhere to turn

Struggling financially

Not able to go out

Low chance of meeting someone special

no thanks

Georgimama · 27/01/2010 20:52

Has your husband finally had enough and gone back to the ex and their children, then? Bad luck.

violethill · 27/01/2010 20:53

Endless bad trolling because you're bored, jobless and got no fella......

paisleyleaf · 27/01/2010 20:54

So why are you with your DH?

GypsyMoth · 27/01/2010 20:55

i'm a single mum...where are my child free weekends???!!!

violethill · 27/01/2010 20:56

I don't think she is. I think she's washwith no fella. And no mates.

NewLeaseofLife · 27/01/2010 20:57

I work and get tax credits so yes benefits really help. Wouldnt be able to live without them.

I rent out my spare room so dont claim the 25% discount and lose a bit of my credits due to it but is nice to have someone else in the house sometimes.

If he didnt put his stuff in the wash I didnt wash it so there has been no change on that front

Childfree weekends are fantastic and mean I can catch up on housework and see my friends. I can be the old me again.

I have lost nearly eight stone through stress whilst becoming single an am now reaping the benefits (thank you OW and exh)

I love being a single parent compared with all the stress etc of living with nearly exh.

GypsyMoth · 27/01/2010 20:57

and no need to post in relationships section moaning that he's eyeing up other women/prefers porn....

NewLeaseofLife · 27/01/2010 20:58

Oooops, is this another troll....sorry guys.

norksinmywaistband · 27/01/2010 20:58
Biscuit
Original poster
WashwithCare · 27/01/2010 20:58

That's true I suppose - lots of single mums don't get any child-free time...

I suppose it depends on the circumstances, but I think some mums are in this position, don't you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
WashwithCare · 27/01/2010 21:00

By Georgimama Wed 27-Jan-10 20:52:58
Has your husband finally had enough and gone back to the ex and their children, then? Bad luck.

err... no... thanks for asking - your concern is touching...

However, I was a single mum for the first 2 years of DD's life - and I'm just pondering the difference...

TBH, I think I feel more stressed now -

OP posts:
smokinaces · 27/01/2010 21:01

Single Living has its perks (benefits, house to yourself etc)

Single Parenting is fucking hard work however you look at it. Yes I get a bit of a break once a week when my ex has the kids, but for the other 6 days 24/7 I am doing their upbringing, disciplining, snot wiping, hand holding etc on my own. (with a little help from nursery)

YABU

GypsyMoth · 27/01/2010 21:02

dith your husband then and become a happier person....much,much better on your own that having deadwood round your neck!!

Original poster
WashwithCare · 27/01/2010 21:02

I love being a single parent compared with all the stress etc of living with nearly exh.

Yes - I relate to that!

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 27/01/2010 21:03

*ditch

slimbo · 27/01/2010 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
WashwithCare · 27/01/2010 21:04

By NewLeaseofLife Wed 27-Jan-10 20:58:13
Oooops, is this another troll....sorry guys.

lol - after a substantive discussion by the self-appointed regulars the other day, I think it was decided I wasn't a troll....

Happy now?

OP posts:
Georgimama · 27/01/2010 21:08

"However, I was a single mum for the first 2 years of DD's life - and I'm just pondering the difference..."

See, you're having that chronology problem again. In your AIBU thread on 8th Jan you claimed to have a 3 year old daughter and to have been with your husband for over two years.

Some MNers find spreadsheets useful to keep track. Have you considered one?

Original poster
WashwithCare · 27/01/2010 21:08

By smokinaces Wed 27-Jan-10 21:01:31
Single Parenting is fucking hard work however you look at it. Yes I get a bit of a break once a week when my ex has the kids, but for the other 6 days 24/7 I am doing their upbringing, disciplining, snot wiping, hand holding etc on my own. (with a little help from nursery)

True - but I think this is the case for lots of married women too - and to be fair, DH is not DD's Dad (I am expecting our first baby any day) - so maybe he will be more help with his own child, but I doubt it.

First, he is hardly ever at home when she is awake - leaves at 7am and not usually back till 8pm. I am always treated as Principal Parent in Charge - I know he is not her Dad - but all my other married friend's husbands do this too...

So you still get to do mostly everything, without the childfree day off iyswim

OP posts:
NewLeaseofLife · 27/01/2010 21:10

WWC - Just checking...I keep coming across them and posting only to hear shouts of Troll.
I also seem to kill threads a lot but really am happy to have a healthy debate if this is for real.
Honestly, despite the hard work that is involved I do enjoy being single. It really has been an eye opener fr me. I have relised I can do it on my own and am so proud of every achievement. I think it would be a differant story if I didnt get the time out though. I am very lucky that i get that.

Original poster
WashwithCare · 27/01/2010 21:12

By Georgimama Wed 27-Jan-10 21:08:31
"However, I was a single mum for the first 2 years of DD's life - and I'm just pondering the difference..."

See, you're having that chronology problem again. In your AIBU thread on 8th Jan you claimed to have a 3 year old daughter and to have been with your husband for over two years.

Some MNers find spreadsheets useful to keep track. Have you considered one?

Oh good grief - is stalking me some sort of hobby Georgimama.

One more time, with feeling, as you care so much...
DD is 3 7 months, coming up to 4 in June
Started dating DH 2 years ago and a bit
DH and I married after dating for 6 months - yes I know it was fast...

So DH and I married when DD had just turned 2 - so I would say pretty categorically, I could say I was a single mum for 2 years, wouldn't you?

OP posts:
smokinaces · 27/01/2010 21:14

Yes, but you have someone there to support you. to back you up. to vent about your day with.

I slept better with my husband here - not only a man in the house, but someone else to listen out in case of emergency/child waking. Not being able to relax at all 24/7 is exhausting.

Single parenting is hard work because it is lonely. and mostly unrewarding as often the children are too young to appreciate (or too hormonal to do anything but say they hate you)

If i were parenting the children 24/7 on my own whilst being married I would be married to the wrong man.