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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to "allow" DH's 15 yr old stepson to get arrested and spend a night in the cells?

501 replies

WashwithCare · 24/01/2010 19:46

DH is not stepson's bio Dad, but lived with him between age 3 and 13, and has been in contact since and financially supporting his Mum and younger sister (also not DH's child).

Anyway, after a long saga of on-going hassles, and lots of soul-searching have in the last week really put my foot down, and inisted on a set of ground rules. I also have my DD (who lives with us f/t) and am about to have a baby (due 4/2) to think of. One of the new rules was that although DH is free to see his steps whenever he likes, and provide any financial support he sees fit - I didn't want them in our home near my kids (but I would review this in 6 mths).

So last night, DH is out for a work function. 10.30 pm, I notice stepson and another male I don't know walk up the path. They ring the bell - I ignore it. They are noisy and sound drunk/intoxicated... then tehy start shouting. I go down, answer the door on chain, say DH is not there, please go away.

Step son is hammered and screaming I'm a lying bitch as DH's car is in the drive (he took a taxi). Starts to boot the car, while his mates tries to talk him down. More screaming. I say, go now or I WILL call the police - manage to shut the door. I call the police,but whilst I am giving my address, they arrive. (2 other neighbours had called them).

I stay in doors, WPC comes into sit with me. 5 mins later, literally, they come into say the mate left and went home nicely, but stepson has been lifted. They ask if DH is the Dad - and I say no (and explain as above). Try to call DH, but get his voicemail - can't think what to say in a voice msg so say nothing about it. So go to bed, thinking this is not my problem.

Anyway, have found out today that police couldnt' contact DH's ex, so step son spent the night in the cells. DH is furious - he thinks I should have done more.

I think it's the mum's responsbility and although I think locking him up all night was OTT, I think I behaved reasonably.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MadameDefarge · 25/01/2010 23:23

Well, WWC, you have your supporters. And your detractors. And those who simply don't approve of your course of (in)action.

Not much more to be wrung from this, is there?

I look forward to your next thread.

justsue · 25/01/2010 23:24

Hey MadameDefarge that was exactly what I was thinking. Although WWC i suspect you are not entirely telling the truth it has been amusing to say the least. Roll on the next AIBU

WashwithCare · 25/01/2010 23:28

I am not the same person as anybody

I believe they pulled the cleaning thread because ops were spatting.. not me... I hasten to add...

BabyIceBean = I do apologise - can I not call you BIB?

{Possbily time to suggest a nice coffee in JL?

OP posts:
WashwithCare · 25/01/2010 23:31

JustSue - I have never changed my name, and typos withstanding, I have only made accutate posts. You do not need to apologise. It is an internet board, and it pays to be skeptical.

OP posts:
babyicebean · 25/01/2010 23:32

Ok WashWithCare apology accepted, I dislike BIB but will go for bean.As I said I have no idea why the name thing got to me but I guess it is to do with himself of to South Africa and the not knowing when he is coming home.

Coffee in JL is expensive - I have a coffee machine

babyicebean · 25/01/2010 23:33

I also apologise if anything I said was wrong but I just wanted things explaining simply cos I am a bean of very little brain you know.

scottishmummy · 25/01/2010 23:39

surely you would prefer Loopy Lorna's Tea House to JL

WashwithCare · 25/01/2010 23:39

How about BabyBean or even BB then? Who is in South Africa?

I have a coffee machine too - and you are most welcome anytime?

OP posts:
RedbinDippers · 25/01/2010 23:40

@babyicey
There is nothing going on with WWC & me. This thread started as a debate on the handling of drunken hooligans. It is not about your username. Get over yourself babes.

WashwithCare · 25/01/2010 23:43

Come now... lets concentrate on small achievable targets, like making BabyBean happy....

OP posts:
justsue · 25/01/2010 23:43

ouch now that was personal RedbinDippers just when everyone was getting on Or am I not seeing the joke. Sorry will get used to MN if it kills me

babyicebean · 25/01/2010 23:48

WAshWithCare - himself is the husband

and I was thinking I didn't mind till you started on the babybean crack.As I said I have nothing against being called Bean.

RedbinDippers - the name jibes are pointless, what was between WashWithCare and myself has nowt to do with you so leave off.

I made no suggestion about you and WashWithCare I meerly asked a question.

I have no need to get over myself as you put it.It was a request I made of WashWithCare and I felt she ignored it.

Rindercella · 25/01/2010 23:48

Justsue, no joke to get. RedbinDippers appears to be a poster who tries to wind people up intentionally and nastily. Probably best ignored.

justsue · 25/01/2010 23:50

ok > as you were

RedbinDippers · 25/01/2010 23:52

There is now a new thread on shortening names!

scottishmummy · 25/01/2010 23:53

can i recommend loopy lorna tea house calorific heaven

babyicebean · 26/01/2010 00:01

Is it as nice as it looks?

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 00:03

Sue...you need to sort yaself out with a spreadsheet

or my favourite ('cos I'm a low-tech ficko...)..a little black book

justsue · 26/01/2010 00:08

Anyfucker: Give me a break Im just learning on here (in the nicest possilbe way) Spreadsheet (low tech ficko). You can be my mentor

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 00:12

I will teach you all I know, little one

< nods sagely >

< recognises an opportunity for much mischief >

justsue · 26/01/2010 00:20

hey anyfucker i do love a bit of mischief keeps my mind active Bring it on

Justsue declares: ANYFUCKER is her mentor

Just for the record folks I am not mad nor delirious just made redundant and enjoying mumsnet

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 00:23

well, sue, some of us have to go to work so will have to catch ya laters x

tomorrow, I will teach you to italicise, strike out, bold and do links

your life will never be the same

justsue · 26/01/2010 00:26

u have a grat day another time, me I have no work but I am sure will get another job soon, until then I shall walk the halls of mumsnet and enjoy my night take care all, anyfucker dont forget to be a mentor and a fucking good one

AnyFucker · 26/01/2010 00:28

night x

I see the swearing is developing nicely too

justsue · 26/01/2010 00:30

how well taught I am only by the best of mumsnet and how great that is

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