to find the whole Broken Britain thing a load of horse crap?

[slightlystressed]

It's really irratating me now, Britain has never been "fixed".

I know Mr Smuggness will be our next PM, and I've been trying to avoid him, but he's frikin' EVERYWHERE! Using the Edlington case to highlight his theory was pretty poor aswell.

God, Im going to unplug the TV for a few days after the Election, his smuggness just might make me explode!

I don't think that becoming a parent
is the worst thing that can happen to a teen over 16 tbh. It's better than going down the drugs and part route and teaches them responsibility.
In the past it was normal for teens to become pregnant and marry.
Of course I hope that my dd goes to uni instead of getting knocked up but years ago young women would have been married off young and started families young instead of going to uni. There was probably more poverty as there were no benefits so in many ways i think Britain is less broken now.

YOu read wrong, but thats OK- id rather people ask tbh. Thanks for the chance o explain.

DLA comes at theree care rates and there are two rates of mobility,plus many don't get mobility.

It is not assessed on dx but need: so a chilsd whoseadhd greeatly affects them would get dla but not all. Need has to be backed up by evidence- and whilst I accept that a few claim fruadulently, I know many more who are denied claims they should get becuase the system is so badly managed.

DS1 has Aspergers but get HR Care bcause he is aggressive and absolutely has to have 1-1 all day and night. DS3 has autism and gets middle rate because he is nto aggressive but needs alotof help with the actions of dailyliving (dressiing etc). He probably should get HR but I cant face a tribunal tbh.

They both get mobility tlow rate, autistic kids can get HR but it is very hard and most don't.

Carer's Allowance is awarded if your child receives DLA at MR or higher, works for unde (IIRC) 18 hours a week and earn below a set level. I don't work-- I ams tudying for an MA in asd but can't send the boys to childcare (no LEA SN provision locally).

A child with adhd might well get DLA but only if their needs are assessed as complying with very rigid guidelines.

I always wish peoplecould see the DLA form- @ 50pages where you ahve to break everything down tominutes.hiow manyminutes do youspend awake at night, tpiletting, helping wioth communicatio0n (er what>? How do you quantify that- ds3 has verylimited speech, is that every minute or what?)

I think DLA as it is works well just needs to be administered better, putting another barrier level (requirement for SocialServies support) is a bad idea.

I also think we should recruit those who successfully defraud DLA into MI5 cozi couldn't maange it! (actually i think they should go toprison of course)

HTH?

party route

I would love a fucking partner. I am certainly not single because of benefits!

What sheltered lives some of you lead!

Me too, Expat.
To me, paying for the benefits system through taxes demonstrates 'sense of community' and collective responsibilty.
So there.

Oh and the at school bit

Assessments, childcare for holidays, GP appts, meetings with school for provision that an be as much as weekly, being awake all night with an active child who barely sleeps, having to be there for a taxi from a SNU to dropoff, therapy interventions.... all these make working far ahrder and fiding a job to fit aroundit is mamy a carers unachieved goal. i've applied for many but an't find anything that combines with childcare unavialbility (DH works and studies avriable hours so cannot be relied on, he was amde redundant and is retraining whilst working PT)

A safety net is one thing but the trouble is it isn't a few chancers!

If within 3 years of leaving school over 10 percent of the girls from the local comp (don't know about the boys!) are pregnant it's not just a few! As I said, they readily admit they get pregnant to get a flat! And a lot of these children come from homes where the parents work and own their little corner of leafy suburbia!

It's no longer about being a safety net! It's just about kids taking what they see as the easy option!

The man left me and as yet I am still waiting for my many suitors to ask for my hand.

I'd much rather be married to a decent bloke with pots of cash than on benefits.

And most single mums get left by the men and don't want to be single. I can't believe that other women would even suggets taht single mums would rather be single for the benefits. I was DEVASTATED to be left by dd's dad but I am so grateful to have some kind of financial support. I never had any issues with people being on benefits before I became a single mum either.
Share and share alike I say.

(Storms off shaking head in despair and disbelief!)

It matters that teenagers become parents in modern Britain because there are fewer and fewer jobs for people without qualifications. The younger people are when they become parents with all that additional responsibility and cost, the less likely they are to pursue more education and to gain the skills and experience that will enable them to support themselves and their families comfortably without recourse to the state for a very basic standard of living.

What happened happily enough in bygone times is no more.

oh come on- we all know that being a mum is not the easy option!

Being a mum is a wonderful thing and if it keeps young women from binge drinking every weekend and aspiring to be porn models then mabe it's not so bad.

I don't get why some people think that young mums can't make good mums.

'It's no longer about being a safety net! It's just about kids taking what they see as the easy option!'

And it's not hard to figure out why when they see everyone at the top of government doing the same thing on an even grander scale. When the entire society is grabby and it starts at the top.

We saddled them and their children with billions of debt to bail out robber barons and they're still getting their mega bonuses, courtesy of John Q. and Jane Q. Taxpayer.

Tories include such stars as Zac Goldsmith, a man worth tens of millions, but whilst taxes are good enough for you and me, they're not for him. He's a non-dom.

And DC's interest in inheritance tax. LOL. Most of us will inherit nothing but he cares about his wife's getting her £20m as tax free as possible.

And people are grousing about a few teens!

It all comes down to the economy. Young mums and unemployed mums are not contributing to the economy and are hence looked down upon.

my aunt got her degree AFTER having two kids young and went on to have a great career. Why do things HAVE to be done in a certain order?

School, Uni, Job, Marriage, Kids at about 30 = Boden lifestyle?

Life is just not that simple.

FYI I am on my second marriage - thanks to my first husband's relationship with my friend! My childen were 3 and 5 at the time. I set up my own business with £500 left to me by my grandma as i wanted to be able to support myself. Fate has been both cruel and kind to e.

Expat - come on - not all countries without a benefits system resemble the slums of Mumbai !have travelled quite a bit and am not that ignorant!

Doesn't anyone think we should aim to be responsible for ourselves? I do understand it would be impossible for eachy to manage withot state help. You are the sort of people the welfare system should help!

Is it so wrong to actually think teenagers hould get a education and a job rather than a baby????

Just an easy target PSM, young single mums don't tend to be union members. Far less is said about the fathers too.

My cousin had her daughter at 16. She struggled at first (as we all do) but is a wonderful mother. And 5 years later is starting a degree in Engineering. The benefits she received have allowed her to bring up her daughter and get on her feet and I think that's exactly how it should be. She now has the chance of a career and being able to support her family but she'll need financial support from the government for a few more years.

No one is saying life is simple or that there has to be an order - but statistically, young parents are very likely to end up in poverty, bringing up children with very little enrichment in their lives. This is not good for individuals or society at large, hence government attempts to avoid teenage parents.

'Expat - come on - not all countries without a benefits system resemble the slums of Mumbai !have travelled quite a bit and am not that ignorant!'

Really? Which countries then? Because I'll give you a list of ones I've been in with no benefits system and they were all pretty much the same, BIG slums, Mumbai under a different name: The Phillippines, Mexico, Honduras, Guatamala, Venezuela, Chile, Panama, Ecuador, Argentina, Brazil,Columbia, India, Morocco, Tunisia, Ghana, Cote d'Ivoire, Senegal, Nepal,Pakistan.

Let me dig out my old passports . . .

Oh, I come from the US, too. If you think not having a good benefits system helps, you're dead wrong.

Does nobody get the point? It's not about the single mums - any of us can and do end up in this position through no fault of our own?

Young mum's are not necessarily bad mums but stroppy teens do need to sort their attitude out a bit beore they become parents!

Anyway - I'm off to watch tv!

'Is it so wrong to actually think teenagers hould get a education and a job rather than a baby????'

Um, most of them do.

2old, all countries without a benefit system have people in desperate poverty. That means if you don't have money you starve. It's barbaric to consider that there is anything positive about that- give me hundreds of pregnant teens and an overburdened benefits system over starving babies any day!

You can bet lack of social security has an impact on the violent crime rates too.

At least Bonsoir seems to think along the same lines as me!

And your point is?

I managed to mess up my life as a teen .

Even though i had the best education money could buy i had an abusive relationship and was seduced by the part scene but luckily not drugs..

had i had a baby i may have been more sensible!

however, i'm glad i waited til 30 but am still in poverty.

if i had a big pile of capital i'd love to have my own business.

becoming a teen mum isn't what i want for my dd and i think it is far from ideal but i don't think it is all doom. i don't think it means that britain is broken.

it would be lovely if we could all live in perfect nuclear families making cupcakes and shining the picket fence-it's what i want but life isn't like that.

rather than blame single mums why not give young men lessons in commitment, ban lad mags, make enforced marriage after sex law and castrate men who abandon their kids? That would solve many of our problems methinks.

i genuinely think that it is men who are too easy come/easy go about the whole family thing.

one handed typing.

teens should do the whole ring thing that they have in america and learn about commitment. i wish i'd waited before having sex. 16 is too young to cope with sex and the emotional fallout imo.

So 2of do you think that as I am on CA I habven'ttried?

See, when I gradiuated at 35 in 2008 I got a B in my dissertatin with 3 kids,2 asd and 1 with SEN; 6 weekslater I got an A in my finals with the boys and also a 5 weekold baby sat in the canteen with DH awaiting a breastfeed.

I wanted to train as a teacher, but couldn't becuase it can't fit around the boys. I would nowlike to be a SocialWorker but .... guess what?

I'dsettle for a TA, but as they are either mornings (can't drop DS1 until 9, and it takes half an hour to get into town) or afternoons (have to be here at 3 for ds3'sSNU taxi drop of) I have yet to ifnd one that I can do.

now atm I have ds4 at home so at elast am not completely miserable all day. he is now 21 months and I dread to think what it will be like when he heads off tos chool. Do you really think someone who selfmotivated to get that degree would choose to then do nothing for the rest of her life? But ayou know- ds3 will always need a carer.

We are partly dependent atm. Dh ahd a great job as a manager and then- recession. He has since started Uni FT and his own business, so we just get a top up. he is hardly sat on his backside is he? He is trying his hardest. No jobs in his oldfield any more- they were one of the hardest hit industry sectors,andwe live in one of the three hardest hit areas of the UK.

You tellme what we should do then that we have not tried or where we aregoing wrong? IN 2.5 yeras Dh should be earning well, contracting intoan industry with a recognised shortage. I'dlike tot hink I will be employed, if not I will be ds3'scarer (saving teh government a forytune-look up care home and SN childcare costs if you don't beleive me) and no doubt still volunteering at school, etc etc.

You can say oh look at me and what I did... well guess what dear, me too. Only- there are no solutions for us that are immediate.
We are the proof that the benfits sytem can work to get people into stable work, helping Dh retrain and build his business.

We both workedright up utnil DS3's birth and then DH paid forme to return toeducation, the boys were diagnosed when I was at Uni. That'sshit luck but categorically not my fault.

And remember also- whilst ten per cent is too high, that is 90% that do not follow that road

Seems a bit mean to write 90% of teenagersofffor the ten per cent that do.

The only way to change teenage pg rates is to give them something to aspire to and selfrespect. I grew up in a town called Bridgwate with huge socialproblems and it was a complete lack opportunities that pushed people down that route.

Not me though.

I had no better housing, income,or anything like that- just a healthy dose ofselfrespect and parents who believed I could become something.