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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WasIBU to change my DS's nappy in seat on plane...

180 replies

larks35 · 07/01/2010 23:40

rather than the 2 inches allowed in aeroplane loos.
Okay first thread but, I recently went to Cyprus with DP, DS and DP's family (oh, it seems like light years ago). On the way out I checked out the loo on the plane and decided not to change DS's nappy there as there is no room. He's nearly 1yo and honestly there is no space for it. Anyway, no one said anything on journey, I thought nothing of it.

On the way back the plane was practically empty, loads of room, DS slept like the baby he is and then needed a nappy change, so I did it on the seat again. When I took nappy to loo to bin, I was given a right old lecture by head hostess - unhygienic, have to serve food, perfectly adequate facilities in loo etc. I said that they weren't adequate and if I couldn't safely do it loo, what was I supposed to do. No answer just severe looks.

After telling DP he did the next nappy change in loo. Turbulence meant that DS nearly fell off table and DP agreed that the facilities were far from adequate for a bigger baby.

Anyway, what I want to know is your thoughts - was I UR for changing DS in seats? Or was head hostess UR for making a fuss (no-one had on my outward journey)? Or should planes have proper baby changing facilities to make it all safe and hygienic?

OP posts:
madamearcati · 09/01/2010 13:48

YABU Revolting thing to do and totally disrespectful of your felow passengers

ChilloSTOPFOLLOWINGMEhippi · 09/01/2010 14:02

YABU. Facilities were provided.

LetThereBeRock · 09/01/2010 14:14

What's the relevance of that Onagar?

I have a dog yes and I pick up her faeces.

nancydrewrocks · 09/01/2010 14:18

Onagar That argument doesn't make sense - most people piss and shit every day but it doesn't mean they want to be dealing with someone elses does it?!

shoulditakethisjob · 09/01/2010 14:20

Someone changed a pooey nappy at toddler group while we were all sitting there with the babies. She didn't have any other children (although anyone would have been happy to mind them if she did) and she just did it right there next to where my DD was lying.

It stank and was lazy and disrespectful IMO.

Not sure about your scenario - the lady who had two children and tried and failed to change one in the loo I have sympathy with, but I'm not sure if YABU or not OP as I'm sure other people have managed to change toddler's nappies in those toilets.

MorningNicePeople · 09/01/2010 14:31

Ignore.

I as a nanny have usually changed at the seat as often had more than 1 child and parents not nearby.

Change mat on seat, supplies ready and off we went, always triple bagged wet & poo as they can get niffy especially on a 8hr flight.

Have ignored looks etc and never been banned

If pane is not full you can often have a row to yourself and who will bother/know.

As to skanky have you run a wet wipe over the seat cushions - black!!!

onagar · 09/01/2010 15:56

LetThereBeRock, when your dog shits the smell goes in the air and people are exposed to it and to the sight of it (and often to stepping in it). So I wondered if dog owners generally would think it was silly to be bothered by a brief sight of a nappy which is then cleared away - just curious.

Nancydrewrocks, fair enough if you feel that way, but it's not really someone else, but someone else's baby. To me that makes a big difference, but maybe it really doesn't to everyone.

We've been conditioned not to want to see each other doing these things, but I just can't imagine feeling shock/horror at baby poo and I figured most posters here would have seen so much of it they were used to it by now.

Oh and I'm a man so traditionally I should be the one going 'ewww keep it away!"

violethill · 09/01/2010 16:04

I think you raise an interesting point onagar. People get normalised by the things that are normal for them. That's why changing your own baby's nappy isn't a big deal - it's a bit like wiping your own arse! I imagine that having a dog is rather the same in that when your own dog shits, you pick it up (unless you're a dirty bastard.) However, that doesn't mean you'd want to go around picking up everyone elses dogs' shit.

In all seriousness, this is a matter of basic manners. Just because you have got used to the sight and smell of your child's shit, doesn't mean you can inflict it on anyone else. I know there are health and safety issues too (though I entirely agree that the average plane is probably fairly grubby already.) But the main issue is about manners!

CirrhosisByTheSea · 09/01/2010 16:08

eww utterly gross and totally selfish and insensitive to others. YABU

prettybird · 09/01/2010 16:26

From the way that you describe it (empty plane, used a mat) YANBU.

Some head stewardesses are jsut jobsworths - contraxst that with whoever it was that was on a BA flight from/to Inverness and the stewardess enouraged her to do just what "your" one told you off for

LetThereBeRock · 09/01/2010 16:35

Onagar that's a ridiculous comparison.

One is outdoors with plenty of fresh air, not in an enclosed space with no access to fresh air.

It's not the sight that's so offensive,though it's not terribly pleasant.
It's the odour and the spread of bacteria laden faeces which are the issues in question.

IggiBurns · 09/01/2010 19:47

Am ed at how easily disgusted some of you are! Though I would expect people without children to feel that way as nappies do take a bit of getting used to.
On the flights I'm on there is usually a trolley rumbling along trying to flog us stuff, if you miss it on the way to the toilet you will be caught behind it on the way back.
So changing at the seat would be a much quicker option. Never had to do either (so far) but glad to know there's so many folk ready to judge me if I do! Screaming children would bother me much more, personally.

BitOfFun · 09/01/2010 19:49

Violethill- excellent points, so true.

Indaba · 09/01/2010 20:01

Agree wholeheartedly that there is not enough room in toilets (and please don't get me started on how airlines hate young children.....especially BA......I could start a heated thread or two!) but sorry, yes, YABU; its pretty gross to do it on the seats.

toolly · 09/01/2010 21:05

Word of advice. Never leave your changing bag open in the midst of changing baby in the air. DS1 puked into it thereby ruining all spare nappies, clothing, for the rest of the flight. (I had another ten hours to go) I had to beg a giant bin bag and put everything into it. DS arrived at our destination in just a very soggy nappy and coat. Nothing else. It was a complete and utter nightmare.

Morloth · 09/01/2010 21:10

Jeez I hate flying near babies and kids (my own included), there should be some sort of holding pen or stasis you can check them into.

Original poster
larks35 · 09/01/2010 22:26

Gawd blimey guvner! Hadn't quite expected this kind of response and feel a bit with some of it TBH. I will accept (as I did at the start!) that I was unreasonable (those early posters were so much nicer than some of the rest of you). I promise to do better next time.

I've been described as precious, patronising, selfish... Obviously none of you know me but don't you think that's a bit harsh? All I did was change a nappy!

Much relief and thanks to the posters who don't see this as quite big a deal

Has it just been a quiet few days on mumsnet?

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 09/01/2010 22:28

Morloth - I am so with you!

Do you think there'd be a market for kid's kennels for when their parents are on holiday?

BTW, my friend has always changed her babies/toddlers on her own lap, whether on a plane or not - a skill I have never mastered.

I am amazed at the strength of feeling about this whole subject.

And sympathies to toolly, nightmare, been through similar. Maybe we should all stay at home until our DCs can wipe their own backsides ...

maxybrown · 09/01/2010 22:37

It seems some people have poo issues anyway!! I know I know it can carry all sorts, but hey, it's just poo I wouldn't worry larks!!

ravenAK · 09/01/2010 22:42

I'd find it pretty gross if it was happening on the next seat. Other people's babies' poo smells horrible. I think there's a built in tendency to not find your own dc's shit as offensive.

I'd try to be sympathetic to a fellow frazzled parent, but I'd definitely be thinking 'Use the toilet ffs!'

Oh & perfumed nappy bags make the whole deal much more revolting. Why do people think that shit + perfume smells better than shit on its own? Weird.

maxybrown · 09/01/2010 22:51

I suffer from bowel disease so after some things I've been through I am having less and less hang ups about poo in general, in fact none at all! I have to, to survive. But I know what you mean about mixed smells, perfume etc. Urgh.

Original poster
larks35 · 09/01/2010 23:00

Thanks maxy, not too worried, just that some comments have been a bit OTT.
Raven, we had the row to ourselves, row in front was family too and row behind had kids too who cried for most of the journey, so I can't think that our baby's poo would have worried them TBH.
The whole reason I got sussed on this was because I took the nappy bag to the loo to dispose of it and that is where the stewardess realised the heinous thing I had done. I really don't think that any fellow passengers were inconvenienced by this at all!

OP posts:
hellabell · 09/01/2010 23:03

Have skipped to end of thread so don't know if this point has been raised: presumably airline has worry about bacterial/viral contamination in plane. As you changed on knee and careful to wipe up etc, any contamination they were worried about would have to be ariborne, which would be a problem on a plane as they contanstly circulate the same air which I don't think get's filtered in any way. But it's the same air that goes through the plane loo; so if you changed in the loo you would cause same air pollution.
I changed DS (wee) on my knee, and got telling off by cabin crew. I'm a microbiologist; planes are about the filthiest place you could be I reckon (along with play centres), and for sake of child I would change on my knee rather than in their fetid loos. Planes are not made for kids on any level though, I hate flying with them.

Original poster
larks35 · 09/01/2010 23:14

Hellabell, I agree about planes being the worse place for kids (and adults) and I don't intend to subject DS or myself to it again for a long time.

He wasn't on my knee, he was on a changing mat on the seat next to me, but as he is a bit of a constipated type of pooer, his faeces definitely did not seep to the seat.

I'm suddenly wondering now, cos he's been on and off feverish since we got back and I had put it down to teething, but I'm now wondering whether he's picked up some bug from the plane

OP posts:
ravenAK · 09/01/2010 23:15

larks35, it really doesn't sound too heinous under the circumstances!

I just get a bit about people - not you - who think it's OK to change nappies anytime, anywhere. I'd not want to inflict one of my 22 month old's special deliveries on anyone in any context other than a toilet...she got into the Bombay Mix yesterday