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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WasIBU to change my DS's nappy in seat on plane...

180 replies

larks35 · 07/01/2010 23:40

rather than the 2 inches allowed in aeroplane loos.
Okay first thread but, I recently went to Cyprus with DP, DS and DP's family (oh, it seems like light years ago). On the way out I checked out the loo on the plane and decided not to change DS's nappy there as there is no room. He's nearly 1yo and honestly there is no space for it. Anyway, no one said anything on journey, I thought nothing of it.

On the way back the plane was practically empty, loads of room, DS slept like the baby he is and then needed a nappy change, so I did it on the seat again. When I took nappy to loo to bin, I was given a right old lecture by head hostess - unhygienic, have to serve food, perfectly adequate facilities in loo etc. I said that they weren't adequate and if I couldn't safely do it loo, what was I supposed to do. No answer just severe looks.

After telling DP he did the next nappy change in loo. Turbulence meant that DS nearly fell off table and DP agreed that the facilities were far from adequate for a bigger baby.

Anyway, what I want to know is your thoughts - was I UR for changing DS in seats? Or was head hostess UR for making a fuss (no-one had on my outward journey)? Or should planes have proper baby changing facilities to make it all safe and hygienic?

OP posts:
MamaGoblin · 08/01/2010 22:58

I don't think you're being very unreasonable. It's far from ideal, but as others have said, plenty of other unhygenic things happen in airline seats that people also have to sit in to eat their meals. You used a change-mat, right? And the plane was half-empty, so it's not the same as doing it in someone's face. The floors of airline loos are often literally swilling in pee - yes, I do think it's a big deal to put a toddler down there and change him!

SomeGuy · 09/01/2010 00:50

eh, but she had a mat, what's the relevance of the state of the toilet floor underneath the mat?

June2009 · 09/01/2010 01:55

YANBU
We changed our baby's nappy on the table in front of us on the plane (also going to cyprus ;)
There was no one directly next to us and yes it was a pooey nappy. We were very quick, baby was on the changing mat wth a pampers mat on top as well and we used a bag to dispose of the dirty nappy and the wet wipes.
No one noticed or complained, incidentallyI did not know there are baby changing facilties in the loos, did not see one there and can't imagine how it would fit?

Gillybean73 · 09/01/2010 03:35

SomeGuy: - the relevance of the state of the floor underneath the mat is that you still have to pick up the changing mat and put it back into your bag. Would you put something potentially covered in other people's piss and excrement in amongst your belongings? I think not!

poguemahone · 09/01/2010 05:46

I once reluctantly changed DS's wet (not pooey) nappy on a long-haul flight. I was traveling on my own with 2 DC: DS (a large 18mo) and DD 2.10. DD couldn't be left alone and I tried and failed to change DS with 3 of us in the miniature loo. So I changed him on a changing mat at my seat. I was given a loud and severe ticking off by the steward who noticed when he leaned over at the wrong moment (was over in a flash and no-one else would have spotted it). Mortified, stressed, still sniveling from saying goodbye to my family, I was rubbish at making my case.

Maybe I didn't have a very good case. I hadn't thought it would be a big deal, but for some people it is offensive. So I'll be trying a bit harder to work out the logistics in future. I'll be making the same trip later this year with an additional baby and can't wait...

echt · 09/01/2010 06:51

YANBU - this is shit in the cabin. Absolutely not OK.

echt · 09/01/2010 06:52

God, I must be pissed.

YABVVU.

Eve4Walle · 09/01/2010 07:56

YABU.

I managed to change DS' nappy twice each way to and from Egypt on the plane in the summer when he was 18 months old. You try doing that with a very wriggly toddler who refuses to get on the ledge they provide for you to change them on. Stressed wasn't the word. Then having to wait in the aisle for the drinks trolley to come past. Not great.

It never occurred to me to do it at my seat. Yuk! I would never inflcit that on my fellow passengers - they have enough to put up with by being seated near my noisy little family, let alone subjected to smelly nappies!

Jackaroo · 09/01/2010 09:50

Well it's a good job some of you weren't on the 14 hour flight I got off a week ago; with DS1 Aged 4 puking into a bag I held in one hand, whilst DS2 was lying in the bassinette trying to clamber out, being held back by the other.

The plane was FULL of small children/babies and most of them, as far as i can tell (being right near the loos) were being changed in situ. A couple of times I change a wet nappy in the bassinette (on our mat and actually as remote from everyone else as the loo was), and we didn't have to face a dirty nappy (until touch down :-)
We had already been travelling for 12 hours at this point, and as DS continued to puke, and DS2 continued to breastfeed and wee like a fountain, it was pretty draining. But no, I've had worse flights, by myself. Like going to say goodbye to my father. But thsi was not fun. and I didn't want to do it either, in case anyone thinks one always plans such trips for fun.

So, I'm sure to everyone else it looked as if I was rummaging around in the bassinette and suddenly, dah dahhhh - a smiley happy baby appeared. I doubt anyone would have noticed my slight of hand with the nappy.

I didn't hear a single negative word, and plenty of people saying, you poor mummies, aren't the children being good? etc etc..

With DS1 I remember being offered the use of the business loos without asking, or even looking as if I was going to change nappies in the seat. That was a lovely surprise. Bet those in B class were unimpressed though..?

BTW they shoudl make sick bags bigger.

violethill · 09/01/2010 10:41

Sounds like hell in the air Jackaroo. 14 hours of screaming, puking and shitting babies and no escape.....

shergar · 09/01/2010 11:37

I think the OP is BVU. I wouldn't change a poo-filled in an aircraft cabin - show a bit of consideration for other passengers, and think about the obvious hygiene issues of people eating in the same place you've exposed poo to the environs. Rancid. Like violethill says, get over yourself!

meltedchocolate · 09/01/2010 12:03

YANNNNNBU OP.

Ignore those who say you are....

I usually try to change DS in loos (15 mo) and have done so in very small places but what you did really aint a big deal...

Read apple's tampon changing story I would not do this but am mighty impressed you did!!

violethill · 09/01/2010 12:13

I have a simple solution to all this!

All those of you who are saying, of course YANBU, it's perfectly fine to change shitty nappies where you are sitting rather than use to loo, next time you board a flight, wear a badge stating:

'I do not mind you changing dirty nappies next to me. In fact, I may even stand up and offer you my seat to do it on. Please also feel free to let out a dirty great fart right next to me if you want to. After all, it's less hassle than walking down the aisle to the loo isn't it? And while we're at it, if there are any other bodily functions you wish to inflict on me, please go ahead. Don't bother getting a tissue out and turning away if you need to sneeze. Just spray me. Hassle getting out a tissue! And if you're really desperate for a pee, I'll lend you my empty drink bottle. That way you can do it without having to move.'

Seems a great solution. All those unwilling to act with basic consideration for others, because it's such a hassle, can sit with all those who clearly don't mind it. Leaving everywhere else free for those of us who can cope with the minor inconvenience of using the toilets!

Laquitar · 09/01/2010 12:14

Yes of course, ignore everybody and just do what you like Oh and be proud of it aswell . Never ever challenge yourself or do anything you don't like or is too tiring for you

Jackaroo · 09/01/2010 12:17

TBH Violet, the objectionable, um, odours were all coming from the men who stayed in the loos for ages at a time. Maybe I'm immune (she says, knowing she's not)but the babies really didn't seem to be the problem.

I remember sitting next to someone who had already been on the flight for 12 hours when i got on, and I had to get moved. I really was mortified as he must have known it was him (although he may not have realised it was his smell). I think flying is horrible whatever way you look at it, and if you can change a nappy without anyone really noticing, the smell will usually get sucked into the system and away from the passengers pretty darn quick.

I'm just too chicken to do it myself

Laquitar · 09/01/2010 12:18

P.s. My post was to previous posters, not to violethill

Jackaroo · 09/01/2010 12:18

PS This is starting to remind me of the thread about air fresheners and perfume "layering".

Neither side will persuade the other I think.

Garrylous · 09/01/2010 12:20

to op

yes

altho did simil;ar on ferry

meltedchocolate · 09/01/2010 12:24

violethill, in that case we must also get a badge saying, I wipe a child's dirty arse so I dont mind wiping yours too just kidding, you could argue that it's your own flesh and blood and all that

The ignore everyone else comment was not to be taken too seriously... Chill yer beans.. Is the snow making everyone grumpy?

Also violet, I change in toilets but wouldn't care enough to blink if OP did what she did near me, so where do I sit?? Or do I have to sit in the aisle?

maxybrown · 09/01/2010 12:53

do people go to the loo to fart? Wouldn't it just escape before you got there?

HarrietTheSpy · 09/01/2010 13:02

Nope, you are not being unreasonable at all. As long as everything is cleaned up and binned properly. Facilities in most airplanes and UK trains totally inadequate.

I can imagine even offering to help you, if it seemed like you were struggling. (Can't understand why so many are freaked out by this. Have I exposed myself as hygenically compromised?!)

nancydrewrocks · 09/01/2010 13:05

So gillybean you object to your changing mat potentially having piss and shit on it but think people are unreasonable for people to complain about nappy changing on seats/tables lest they get shit or piss on them.

domesticextremist · 09/01/2010 13:23

Is this STILL going on? bloody hell...

I see no reason to get shit and piss everywhere regardless of where you're doing it tbh.

violethill - that was a little bit loopy that post - those things arent remotely comparable.

onagar · 09/01/2010 13:35

I wouldn't recommend it if you were sitting right next to strangers, but as there was room it's fine by me.

You hear about people being shocked and disgusted by the sight of a dirty nappy. But everyone has filled one at some point in their life and very nearly every adult has changed one. Surely the contents can't be a total surprise and shock any more.

onagar · 09/01/2010 13:43

Just a thought about those who feel it's bad to expose strangers to the sight/smell of baby poo. Are any of you dog owners?