To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

In fact this thread is beginning to make me feel angry because I can see so many similarities between this and my own situation as posted earlier.

Can't you see that by shaming them like this and setting up guilt and issues around food it is likely to be counter productive?

What happens when they go to university or live alone - if you have been denied food or food has been demonised it is likely you will go mad with it once you are independent or binge in secret.

Perhaps the OP has an eating disorder herself? And is projecting all her issues onto the dsss?

I certainly look on exhs new p as rather mad and obssessed (who said she would never have oven chips in her house) yet they had cup cakes at a family party. DS1 was also not allowed a 99 ice cream - in the summer - as they were too chocolately WTF

Why is it negligent to take kids to Miami? I don't get it.

Also, am I the only person who really doesn't notice that people are in any better shape in Paris than London (if you compare nice bits of Paris and London)? I think this French chic thing was all well and good in the eighteenth century, but doesn't really match up now.

PMSL
well this cheers up a cold snowy morning...
I wouldn't bother trying to explain to Anna why she's seriously wrong btw she can be the most narrow minded, poster, superior on here..
just laugh behind her skinny, pseudo french, backside

I really feel sympathy for the poor woman... I wonder if she is really negligent or that you are a pair of obsessive perfectionist loons who have a rather fundamentalist views on your parenting choices.

They probably just stuffed themselves silly as they weren't being continuously monitored. That is what happens when you control people so much, they rebel and go bonkers and yes, the

"TBH he will probably need to wave that threat in front of her in the near future to get her to toe the line a bit"

comment is very telling. Whose line does she need to toe? Not yours, Bonsoir, she is their Mother whatever you think of her.

Control freakery at it's finest.

narrow minded, superior, poster

Bit of Fun, I've not personally come across a teenager who sticks on over half a stone, in 2 weeks just because of growing, no.

I have been quietly lurking one this topic, but feel compelled to comment on the post made earlier by Bonsoir:

"People ask me what I weigh all the time - of course they do. It's completely standard to do so among my friends and family.

HCPs make people get on the scales in front of them and don't take their patients' word for it!"

I understand health care professionals asking about your weight - that's part of their job, but why do your friends and family? From your comment of 'of course they do' I suspect that you think this is normal - it is not normal behaviour to ask someone their weight, without good reason. Do you ask your friends how much they weigh too?

Is your world really so obsessed with weight - why does it make a difference what someone weighs? Would you not be friends with someone who weighs too much in your opinion?
What is the point in asking - why is it anyone's business what someone else weighs?

I must say it seems to be bordering on the obsessive, and if that is the case, then that is a REALLY unhealthy environment for your children (particularly if you have a girl - eating issues can start really early as can body issues and can take a number of years to become obvious)

FWIW - I live in Paris, happily married to a French man and I have never ever been asked my weight by anyone other than my doctors.
But then again, I don't ask others what they weigh either .

but... can we be sure that they really put on that weight? or is it perhaps just a problem of perception?

As has been mentioned, it is not uncommon in France and Italy for weight to be seen as a very normal topic of conversation.

It's crap like this that has led to my sister believing that it's normal to weigh 48kg when you're 5ft6, and means that whenever she starts to eat normally in pregnancy she puts on enormous amounts of weight very quickly (26kg in the last pregnancy, 28kg in the previous). My sister would be far better weighing 56 kg, at least she'd be healthy. As it is she has dieted/restricted her intake/ had ridiculous fads since she was 13 years old. She's now 40 and I dread to think what her bone density is like...

The scales probably need a new battery and they've freaked the dss' out for no reason.

By BonsoirAnna Wed 30-Sep-09 12:51:56
If your exH is restricting your access to the children as a way of punishing you for your misdemeanours, that is totally out of order (and unlawful).

Interesting that you feel OK about threatening your DH's ExW that you'll go for full custody of your Step Children if she doesn't 'toe the line'...

My 16 yr old weighs about 10 stone for 5ft8 but there's not an ounce of fat on him, never has been. He's all muscle. You don't achieve that on 1000 calories a day because you don't have the energy to do any exercise on 1000 calories a day.

I am picturing Bonsoir weighing the DSSs every morning pre- and post-turd, then fishing out their deposits and weighing them too.

cyteen

Crumpet - in my part of Paris it is unusual to actually ask another person what they weigh - fair enough a discussion about putting on some weight over Christmas might happen, but I would have that conversation in the UK too.

I would say that the French are more paranoid about staying slim than the British- but I find their attitude towards that unhealthy - women will smoke and starve themselves to stay thin, and although they are thin, can have many other health problems as a result.

I know far more women here with eating disorders than I ever knew in Britain - but they are all thin!! I don't think thay take a balanced approach at all to weight, but they stil do not ask outright how much people weigh - that is way too obsessive even for the french!

They both put on exactly 4 kilos?

This is the weirdest post I've ever read on MN. Officially. I prefer the piss-take Disneyland Paris thread.

Why can't kids overindulge on holiday? Especially America. Isn't it like $2 for a 16oz steak? They already have a mum, step mums are meant to be the fun version to some extent. Not the control freak version.

god OP sounds a reet caw

anna regards parenting as a mission to make everythign perfect
NO imperfections will be tolerated

wait till dd tells her where to stick it,

Bonsoir, if you are real, you are utterly fucking bonkers and I feel sorry for your kids.

But I suspect you're just trolling.

Blimey. At least we tubby Brits stick to Guessing the Weight of inanimate objects, like fruit cakes.

Isn't Bonsoir half British half Wallonian?

I'm pissed off too - coz she should have taken ME to Miami. Where I would have lazed in the WARMTH. (and promise i wouldn't have eaten too much, honest).

How do you know they put on FOUR kgs? Did you weigh them before they left?
kgs is roughly 9pounds which means they would have to eat an extra 27,000 calories to gain this weight in a 2 week period.
So either
a) it's been a while since you have weighed them (and btw omfg WHY is your DP weighing his children)
b) you are exagerating
c) they really did stuff themselves out there, which would be unusual if they did have a healthy relationship to food whilst at home.