To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

Well it seems that the children go from one extreme sort of parenting style to another so you could maybe argue they cancel each other out and the end result is benign neglect I could be clutching at straws here however.

And you know that Anna....
because....
you were.... there???????

I've always thought you had individual views but I thought they were your own...
you're just your partner's puppet.

Does anyone remember the thread about whether or not her DP should allow an employee time off to go adopt a baby... as if it was any of his damn business.

But hey, at least she was adopting and therefore not going to get fat.

Your DP is fairly poisonous.

If it isn't a wind-up, can I suggest you read "Fuck It", Bonsoir?

Get dh to read it too.

That simple act will do your stepsons more good than all the green leafy veg in the world.

...But I'm going to bite anyway...

Bonsoir maybe the "other half of their lives" actively wants to let them chill out a bit without weekly weigh-ins and god knows what other control freakery gubbins. Maybe they're trying to create a bit of balance, or even moderation, or common bloody sense.

[head explodes with exasperation despite knowing this HAS GOT TO BE A WINDUP]

Give over Anna. Their pants are so tight "they squeeze their balls to pieces" yet you wait for the sales to buy them new ones. Either you are exaggerating significantly for effect or you need to consider buying pants more frequently. For your DSSs. Your own habits can remain unaltered...

anna is prone to hyberbole

ROFL at pants squeezing their balls

At least their balls will be slim

I'd like to know how they've outgrown their pants sp badly in 6 months yet have not put on any weight until this holiday.

Surely, Bonsoir knows that forcing a child to lose a less-than-ten-lb weight gain by a certain point and holding weekley weigh-ins is ridiculously obsessive and dare I say borders on abusive? I mean, SURELY. She doesn't come across like an idiot, so she must realize...

If, as you say, you are feeding them "lots of green veg and fruit" and you and DP are quite active with them, shouldn't the weight just come off anyway?

Regardez mes petits bolleaux

I too think this is a wind-up...

I reckon she's a troll and is actually living on a run down estate in NE London eating cheap prawn cocktail crisps.

Urgh does it strike anyone else that there is only one person with an eating disorder in full view on this thread - and threatening to pass it on!

I would like to point out that from my shower at 7am to seeing the nurse at 9.30am I put on 8lbs so 4kg in 2 weeks isn't that bad!

Please Anna stop this bollocks and remember that although you have the full care of their half sister - you actually aren't legally a parent to these children at all, you are the "partner" of their father and not a legal step mother. I am reminded of a post in a recent thread where you mentioned that your dp wasn't your husband but someone elses!

If this OP is genuine and not some bizarre windup /fantasy then I think is truly one of the saddest and most disturbing threads I have ever seen.

He is going to do weekly weigh ins? Frankly your DP sounds like a bullying and controlling arse and you are colluding with this.

The way to organise new socks, pants, coats and shoes for a 15 yr old boy is to give him the appropriate amount of money and send him to the shops to buy it himself. Stop babying him. He is nearly a grown up and you and your DH persist in treating him like a 6 yr old.

...having melded into her sofa, waiting for the emergency services to knock down the side wall of her house to take her to the local weighbridge to find out how many blue whales she's the equivalent of?

Maybe the weight went straight to their balls. Teenage Buster Gonads perhaps?

Sorry, that was supposed to follow on from Soupdragon's post, rather than just floating about on its own

[clearly typing with mittens on emoticon]

Soup - you should NOT have mentioned prawn cocktail crisps; can't be got in Oz. As soon as we touch down at Heathrow the DD demands them.

And then I have to weigh her. : o

If my DH threatened one of my children with a weigh in like that, I think he would be my ex-DH pretty quickly.

Bonsoir - the way your DP is choosing to deal with this is very worrying - from what I have read, if you are serious,(and given the gravity of the subect, I will assume you are) - he has some major issues with control (of you, his Ex-W, and his sons) and using weight as one of his weapons.

I read you have a small daughter - I hope for her sake she has a) not been privy to the recent discussions, and b) her father never humiliates her or threatens her if she gains a little weight (and in perspective of growing teenagers it is a little weight!)

It is true that Parisiens are extremely weight conscious (not to the point of directly asking one's weight though) - my 10 year old, skinny as a rake, daughter comes home from school full of silly ideas regarding weight - it worries me that she is beginning to have some body issues (i.e she thinks she is fat - for her age she is barely on 25th percentile!!) - and this is coming from external influences only in Paris (and we have not lived here all her life). We spend our time rebalancing her persepctive on the issue

PLEASE Bonsoir, for you daughter's sake, stand up to you DP on this - treat the weight gain as calmly as possible, help the DSSs lose it if that is what you all feel is best, but DO NOT humiliate them with weekly weigh-ins. I think you are setting yourselves up for some major rebellion by these boys later in their teenage years if your DH continues on this very controlling path.

Bonsoir, you are NOT their mother, you are just a step mother who tries to do her best but can't stop herself from judging the ONLY mother they have. That is not being a good step mother, damaging the bond with the only person who is as important to them as their own father is just plain evil.

You both should be ashamed of yourselves, putting so much pressure on a 12 year old to loose weight. Are you sure it is not you who is winding up their father to make the mother look less capable?