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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

1003 replies

Bonsoir · 06/01/2010 10:41

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

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ClickNegg · 06/01/2010 21:02

i buy them at tesco

Bonsoir · 06/01/2010 21:03

the dolly - oh I know . I just wish she wouldn't get more out there with every year that passes!

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Georgimama · 06/01/2010 21:03

I don't see why a 12 year old boy, with the assistance of his 15 year old brother, cannot work out whether or not a pair of underpants fit him. Stop infantilising them and let them do something for themselves.

Ingles2 · 06/01/2010 21:04

I saw that Georgie...
Seriously Anna, you have to stop with this idea that the exw is a failure you're parroting your dp...I had you down as brighter than that. you cannot possibly know both sides of the story and just because she parents differently to you does not make it wrong

Bonsoir · 06/01/2010 21:05

Georgimama - DSS2 is miserable after his holiday/weight gain. Not a lovely holiday - he is really distraught.

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ClickNegg · 06/01/2010 21:06

yes son to be ex BIL told his wife that
a) they werent having sex( yeah right)
b) she drank cofffe all day ( doesnt even like it)
c) had an affair ( erm no)

SoupDragon · 06/01/2010 21:06

Well, perhaps your DSS2 has learnt a valuable lesson about eating sensibly and accepting the consequences.

ClickNegg · 06/01/2010 21:07

ds2 is a manipulator and old enough not to eat when not hungry

Swedington · 06/01/2010 21:07

It all sounds a bit obsessive and not very much fun. I hope my children will look back at their teens and think it was warm, fuzzy and fun. I would hate them to remember neat piles of pants and weighings as the overriding concern.

SoupDragon · 06/01/2010 21:07

I suspect he is only distraught because you have made a huge deal about it. I bet you didn't say "hey, never mind, it's only temporary."

independiente · 06/01/2010 21:08

Bonsoir sounds a tad uptight about this, maybe as a result of having to organise so much - not ideal but not a crime. The weight thing seems to be cultural.
The ExW sounds a bit lost (maybe a bit lazy), for one reason or another can't keep up with the highly efficient 'other side', and has let things go on her side - again not ideal but not a crime.
Superimpose the situation onto the MN landscape, and suddenly it's escalating war, SMs versus ExWs, with all the second guessing and projection from the audience. Don't know whether I love it or hate it..., but it's compelling.

TheFallenMadonna · 06/01/2010 21:08

Why did you have to wait until the sales to buy the poor boys some underwear that fits? Come on.

I'm sure there's a very interesting backstory to all this Bonsoir...

Ingles2 · 06/01/2010 21:08

well it's down to you as a rational, sensible adult to tell him that's its of no consequence, it was a holiday and he'll lose it with some exercise...

Strix · 06/01/2010 21:08

Oh this has amused me.

I don't think it's normal for everyone to talk about their weight. Come to think of it, I can't tell you how much anyone in my house weighs... and they better not be telling other people what I weigh.

I don't know if it's Anna or if it's Paris. But, it's not a good thing.

Georgimama · 06/01/2010 21:11

Distraught about the holiday or distraught about what he no doubt knew would be the reaction of his grandmother, his father and his step mother to a small weight gain, which with his levels of activity will be burned off within a month?

One minute you said they had been spoiled during the holiday and over indulged, next the holiday has left him distraught. Which is it?

Bonsoir · 06/01/2010 21:16

Yes, being spoilt and overindulged does generally lead to unhappiness.

He didn't need it to be pointed out to him that he had gained far too much weight. But I don't really think he can be held responsible - if all the entertainment he got for a fortnight was shopping and restaurants, he was doubtless miserably bored and couldn't control his comfort eating. DSS2 needs much more intellectual stimulation than that.

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Longtalljosie · 06/01/2010 21:17

"DSS2 is miserable after his holiday/weight gain"

... but you, doubtless, have told them that 4kg (half a stone) is nothing and they are to stop being silly about it?

Thought not. But you really should.

I suspect they had a lovely time in Florida and you and your other half are busily trying to make them feel bad about it.

SoupDragon · 06/01/2010 21:17

"if all the entertainment he got for a fortnight was shopping and restaurants, he was doubtless miserably bored and couldn't control his comfort eating"

Oh FFS! You are a complete and utter loon.

Bonsoir · 06/01/2010 21:19

DP has told him he has to lose it by the Feb half-term (five weeks from now) and will do weekly weigh ins to check. I haven't talked about it at all, and won't - I just provide healthy meals with masses of green veg and fruit for dessert.

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SoupDragon · 06/01/2010 21:19

You have made him distraught, not the mother, the holiday or the weight gain. What has made him miserable is the hell he has had to put up with from his weight obsessed step mother shrieking in horror at him.

Longtalljosie · 06/01/2010 21:20

"being spoilt and overindulged does generally lead to unhappiness."

Not on holiday, it doesn't.

HerBeatitude · 06/01/2010 21:20

My god you really do want them to have hated their holiday and their time with their mother, don't you?

Bonsoir · 06/01/2010 21:20

I haven't said a thing about it to him. Not a thing. Stop letting your imagination run wild with you!

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Longtalljosie · 06/01/2010 21:21

"DP has told him he has to lose it by the Feb half-term (five weeks from now) and will do weekly weigh ins to check"

I'm horrified. Seriously. Are you trying to give them an eating disorder?

Ingles2 · 06/01/2010 21:21

Anna that is dreadful!
He's having weekly weigh-ins and you are party to this????

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