To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

from the other side of the story we have s tep mother in our family who engineers her p (the kids dad) to deny them a new bike.
nice.
and yes he IS a poof.

dont
let her do it
THEY ARE HER KIDS NOT YOURS

kids will play off one "family" against another till the rug is drawn from under their feet
had this at work - kid bleating ot one parent that the other one didnt understand them, til all parents met with kid and kid was

But you don't have to be sensible. Or rather you can have fun and do the sensible stuff.

Why did they not already have winter coats, pants, socks and shoes?

No issues at all - like I say, weight is like the weather here, the first topic of conversation with new people you have nothing to talk about with!

It's the British (judging from this thread) who are totally neurotic about weight to the point when it is impossible to talk about.

And why would you be so interested in me and my family, Swedington, as to read the detail of my posts so obsessively?

come on Anna... A&F clothes will be worn by teenagers all year round. So they won't be wearing tshirts under their hoodies?
I think you are the only poster on here I am actually really fascinated by. I just can't decide if you are deeply unhappy, insecure, or just barking. You moan about the exw but seem to relish the power and control that is placed upon you. Maybe it's just that you are understimulated ...are you working? Can you function without feeling stressed, over anxious and at the end of your tether or do you secretly enjoy it?

it sso dull though weight. DULL DULL DULL

(flashback to rarely seen acquaintance who has been losing weight for 5 years, fucking lose it or shut up you are dull)

I've never weighed any of my four children.

Because they have grown out of the winter coats, shoes and socks they had (coats from last year that we knew would last until Christmas and shoes need changing every three months at the moment as their feet grow so fast, ditto socks) and the only person who ever organises their underwear is me and I haven't done so since last summer, waiting for the sales.

organise underwear? LET GO LET GO

you need to work more.

i have NO IDEA what my kids weigh.
none at all.

ClickNegg - nothing will ever happen if we leave it up to her. Nothing. We've tried, time and again.

so let her fail
let dh do it
they are NOT you r kids!

So you'd let your stepchildren go out with socks three sizes too small with holes in and no winter coats and pants that squeeze their balls to pieces? Come on.

Hurrah hurrah. My 9 month old DD was weighed today and has actually lost weight over Christmas. She has gone from the 8th to 3rd percentile. There I was fretting to the HV about it but no, it's a good thing. She still fits into all the stupidly small French clothes we got her in the summer.

And anyone who can fit into clothes from A&C does NOT have a weight issue.

put aside the martyr complex Anna.... What will happen to these boys if you don't buy them some pants? they're not going to expire... leave it to your dp and the exw.

She already has failed and DP has to wave that in her face from time to time to ensure she does the minimum. But we cannot fail the children because their mother does.

You don't need to organise this. It takes no organisation whatsoever. Either order it all online - take you half an hour tops - or get DP to give the boys some money and send them shopping. Perhaps their mother doesn't bother with this stuff because she knows you can be counted on to get in an epic tizz do it for her? Outsource. 50% care of 2 teenage boys really shouldn't be a full time occupation, even with your daughter.

er... yes... I would and I have...
My dss is in his mid 20's now and he's suffered no long term damage from it

So, since the mother is so useless, incompetent and a terrible mother, why don't you just go for full custody/residency instead of behaving like a bully and threatening her with it?

Bullshit. You have to try stuff on, someone has to go with them to make sure they buy things that fit and will last and are good value for money. 12 year old boys cannot.

If she was sensible and responsible, your DP may quite possibly still be with her - be careful what you wish for .

You don't have to try pants and socks on.

"She already has failed"

Clearly one thing that will happen left to her is that the boys have a lovely holiday in the States (therefore exposure to an entirely different culture) and some nice new clothes. She really doesn't sound like a case for social services to me.

now you're looking for excuse to remain in control... order it on-line.. it doesn't fit or its crap quality send it back... as you said, money is no object